Tori Black presents at the 2011 AVN Awards with Jenna Jameson.

By all accounts, 2011 was a hell of a successful year for adult film actress Tori Black. She kicked off last year by winning the AVN Award for Female Performer of the Year and then closed out 2011 by having her first child. Unfortunately, 2012 is going in the opposite direction as Black (real name: Michelle Chapman) and her child’s father, Lyndell Anderson, were arrested and booked in Las Vegas last Friday night for domestic battery at their hotel.

The fight apparently escalated when Anderson told Black that they didn’t have enough bottled breast milk left to feed their 5-month old son, and it’s totally understandable because I always lose my sh*t when I don’t have breast milk.

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Fresh off the controversy over Anne Hathaway and her Catwoman suit, the set of The Dark Knight Rises is dealing with another CAT-astrophe. (*ducks tomatoes*) During a fight scene outside a courthouse, Hathaway’s stunt double was driving down the steps of the building and crashed into an IMAX camera. In a post titled ” ‘Dark Knight’ Stunt Fail: Catwoman CRUSHES Camera,” TMZ covered the story with the type of measured, subtle reaction they’ve become known for.

The budget for “Batman: The Dark Knight Rises” might have just jumped up another six figures — because last Friday, Catwoman’s stunt double BARRELED through a super-expensive IMAX camera … and TMZ has the crushing footage.

It’s unclear who messed up — the stunt-double or the cameraman — but either way, the camera appeared to be blown to smithereens.

Never change, TMZ. “CATWOMAN CRUSHES CAMERA AND BLASTS IT INTO KINGDOM COME. It’s not clear who was too blame. BUT ZOMGOMG WAS SHE DRUNK I DUNNO MORE FROM OUR SOURCES SOON P.S. SHE WAS PROBABLY DRUNK.” It’s even more ridiculous when you watch the video (which you can find on TMZ’s site by yourself, because I’m not tossing them any more traffic on this). This lady drove pretty much in a straight line down the stairs and bumped into the camera, knocking a small piece of it off. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, right?

Sources close to production tell us both the camera and the cameraman were not injured during the incident — but if you look closely, you can SEE camera shrapnel … and fixing those things ain’t cheap!

So, to recap: There’s this video of someone bumping into a camera, sources very close to the story indicated nothing was harmed that bad, and TMZ managed to shoehorn the words “CRUSHES,” “BARRELED,” “smithereens,” and “shrapnel” into the post. And you thought my post about Ashley Greene making a mojito was stupid.

"POW!"

Continuing a long and storied tradition of actors who fancy themselves fighters because they’ve trained to play fighters in movies, Mark Wahlberg now says he could take Manny Pacquiao in a fight, assuming conditions were right.  On the Dan Patrick show to promote The Fighter, in which Wahlberg plays boxing great Mickey Ward (a role for which he trained with Freddie Roach), Wahlberg was asked whether he could take Manny Pacquiao in a fight. It was, of course, a ridiculous question that answering will only lead to TMZ taking you out of context and making you look like a jackass, but don’t think for a second I’m not going to join in on the fun.

Wahlberg was on the “Dan Patrick Show” this morning — where he revealed that he “clocked” a guy in a L.A. nightclub recently … and “fish hooked” some guy’s eye socket during a rumble at a Patriots-Jets football game a few years ago. Crazy violent stuff.

Sounds pretty typical, actually.  YOU DISRESPECT WES WELKAH, YOU FACKIN’ QUEAH??  HE’S THE BEST SLAWT RECEIVAH SINCE YA MOTHAH’S COOZ BAWX! (*fish hook*) HOW YA LIKE THEM APPLES, GO SAWX!

But the most shocking part — Wahlberg, who trained as a boxer for his new movie “The Fighter” — thinks he could K.O. Manny Pacquiao [who himself beats up giant crabs -Ed.] … if he could land a suckerpunch to the side of his head.  Wahlberg explains, “If I can choke him and wrestle him than that’s it … but I don’t want to be, you know, getting picked apart by him … that’s not a good call.” [via TMZ]

GET IN CLOSAH, MAHKY!  THAT LITTLE ORIENNAL’S PICKIN’ YOU APAHT!  Anyway, I don’t know what was so shocking about that.  I could kick Mike Tyson in his prime’s ass too, provided he was blindfolded, handcuffed to a pole, and I kicked him square in the nuts really fast and ran away. But I guess THAT’S JUST THE WELKAH IN ME!  NEW YAWK SUCKS, DRAWPKICK RAWKS, SAY HI TO YA MOTHAH’S TWAWT FAH ME! (*puts whole town in reahview*)

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Oh my God, is that a broken chair leg?

TMZ regularly uses blurry, badly-cropped photos of celebrities to accompany all of their stories, because it creates the illusion that the photo was hastily snapped as the celebrity was running away from the scene of a scandal. They do this regardless of where, when, or in how high-quality the original photo was taken (exhibit A, B, C).  Strangely, they’ve apparently taken the same approach to pictures of Charlie Sheen’s “HOTEL ROOM CARNAGE!”  This despite the fact that hotel rooms presumably don’t run away or cover your camera when you try to photograph them.  C’mon, man, take some time! What were you, being chased? Here are some of the photos, and I swear I actually tried to make these look better.

Mother of God, there are pillows EVERYWHERE.  What kind of sick person would do this?
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James Cameron was walking through LAX (the airport, not the nightclub) recently when a fan asked him to sign an Avatar poster.  Cameron refused.

The man went back to Cameron and asked again to which James replied, “I don’t owe you a f**king signature … just get out of my f**king personal space.”
That’s when the fan lost it and replied, “I’m an a**hole because I ask someone I admire for their autograph that makes me an a**hole? I make $15-an-hour at work to go see your film and I’m an a**hole?”
Ultimately, James calmly walked away from the situation while the fan continued to yell at him. [TMZ]

TMZ got the whole thing on video (attached below), because even though you can’t park your car there for more than three seconds and have to take your shoes off to get on a plane, TMZ is allowed to just hang out at the airport with video cameras all day.  Anyway, the easy thing to say is that Cameron could’ve just taken two seconds to sign the guy’s poster and only the tiniest effort would’ve kept him from looking like a total prick, but would it really surprise anyone if TMZ put this guy up to it specifically in the hopes that something like this might happen?  Meanwhile, if this guy’s looking for reasons why he might be considered an A-hole, I’d say that hat is tops on the list.

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