Hi, I’m the ship’s doctor, this is how we look and dress in the future

The second trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness just hit the web, and as I’ve said all along, letting JJ Abrams direct both Star Trek and Star Wars was a weird idea, like the same guy running both Coke and Pepsi, or having Mick Jagger sing for the Beatles. In this new trailer, it looks like Abrams just gets confused as to which one he’s making and films an homage to that Star Wars scene where the Millennium Falcon has to turn sideways to fit between the asteroids:

Read the rest of this entry »

Bitch Slap recently released a new trailer (after the jump), this time with even more boobs and explosions.  It also treats us to one-liners like, “Blow me, you psycho rugmuncher!” and “Ram this in your clambake, bitchcake!”  First of all, why does he want her to blow him if she’s a rugmuncher?  And how does a clam become a “clambake”?  Do I even want to know?  And wouldn’t a clambake be like a fishfry or a pig roast?  How do you shove something into a food party?  Then there’s this exchange:

“Your only purpose in life is to serve men and get their dicks hard!”
“Well, a girl’s gotta eat.”

Wait, so is she only getting my dick hard so she can eat it?  This whole thing is just confusing.  Look, I’m all for girls showing their boobs and blowing stuff up, but the double entendres need work.
Read the rest of this entry »

This is the teaser poster for Witchblade, a comic book movie that will be out next year.  I don’t know much about the plot, but I’m guessing it involves tits and dragons, tits and aliens, tits and robots, or some combination of the three. 

The story follows a specially chosen female who comes into possession of “a supernatural, sentient artifact with immense destructive and protective powers” called the Witchblade. The jewel-encrusted gauntlet gives the wearer extraordinary powers. The feature length theatrical live-action film will take a “more horror [sic]-based approach.” [/Film]

It’s part of a critically acclaimed series of graphic novels whose titles also include Slut Dagger, DVDAK-47, and of course, Lesbotank.