After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Bitch Slap, but to be honest, I’m giving you the best parts with these screencaps. It seems to be a movie about tits, but apparently these tits went to college and got all uppity or something (that’s why I only date dropouts).
BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s - 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Inspired by the likes of Dragstrip Girl;, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill; Kung Fu Nun and the pantheon of Blaxploitation films, BITCH SLAP will mix girls, guns, outrageous action and jaw-dropping visuals with a message… don’t be naughty! [Apple]
A post-modern tits and violence movie, eh? I guess that means I have to roll my eyes derisively while I ‘bate. Oh, and full disclosure, Mr. Skin says this one contains only ‘brief nudity.’ Pass. I’m not saying nudity’s the only reason to see a movie — it’s not the dark ages, you can get fetish porn at the public library now — just that when you take away the promise of nudity in this one, you’re left with horrible acting and warmed over Tarantino references. Note: ‘Campy’ is not the same thing as ‘funny’. Have you ever camped? It sucks. You basically drive out to the woods and pretend to be poor.
After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Women in Trouble, opening November 13th. It looks like a cheesy, feminine empower flick with characters named “Elektra” and “Moxine” (subtle), written and directed by Sebastian Gutierrez, the guy (yes, a man) who previously wrote the modern-day classics The Eye and Snakes on a Plane. But every character in the trailer shows up wearing a sexy bra with no shirt, so there’s that.
A pregnant porn star, a couple of call girls, a scorned psychiatrist, a teenage goth, a flight attendant with a crush on a famous passenger… the troubles of this cluster of LA women couldn’t be more different [not true, they all sound like sluts. -Ed.], but on one crazy day feminine compassion will alter all of their lives. Devilish humor, razor-sharp scripting, and a knockout ensemble of talented actresses (including Carla Gugino, Connie Britton, and Marley Shelton) turn trouble into pure pleasure.
It’s also got Emmanuelle Chriqui playing a stripper:
The folks over at SecretSauce TV have started this new series called “Hot chicks in black and white flicks”, in which they recreate scenes from old movies using bikini models. This one’s from 12 Angry Men. I thought I’d post it because it has boobs and is movie related, and therefore requires no additional work on my end. What, you like boobs, doncha, pussy? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now leave me alone, daddy’s drinkin.
There’s really no more blatant way to pander to the nerds and get everyone damp under the man-boobs than sticking Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show in various cleavage-heavy outfits like Princess Leia. But while my brain is insulted, my boner refuses to be reasoned with, and the shame tears just make me jerk harder (this is why Mormons have so many kids). If one picture could sum up Comic-Con:
I’ll say this for Comic-Con: it’s the one day of the year when models really earn their paycheck. You can just imagine some poor girl dressed as the world’s sluttiest centaur getting paid to be gawked at all day thinking “I pictured Milan…” That Olivia Munn can still smile and maintain a cheerful exterior while surrounded by 15 socially inept shut-ins shouting, “Hey Olivia, I whack it to you way more than Megan Fox!” and “Hey Olivia, sign this hair doll!” and “Hey Olivia, lemme rub my greasy boner on you!” is nothing short of miraculous. She’s truly a Saint I’d like to Motorboat. (more pictures and video below)
The Red Dawn remake (the Russians invade high school!) picked up two new castmembers today: Josh Peck from The Wackness, and Adrianne Palicki, who looks like a really good actress. 
Peck will play the role of hotheaded high school quarterback Matt, originally played by Charlie Sheen. Palicki will play tough girl Toni, originally played by Jennifer Grey, who once gave birth to a baby in a corner.
Dan Bradley, a stunt coordinator and second-unit director on “The Bourne Ultimatum” and “Quantum of Solace,” will direct the revamp based on the 1984 Cold War-era film co-written and directed by John Milius. Carl Ellsworth and Jeremy Passmore penned the updated screenplay. [THR]
So yeah, probably gonna suck. I actually didn’t know there was a stunt coordinator on Quantum of Solace. I thought they just had the actors stand still and then shook the camera around, Polish-lightbulb style. But casting Palicki was a good choice. After all, she’s a veteran of operation Spread Eagle.
