If you watched Amanda Seyfried in 2011’s Red Riding Hood, thinking, “Eh, this is OK, but I could use more violent girls flashing their boobs and werewolves acting all rapey” then you’re in luck, because Japan already heard you loud and clear. Red Sword reimagines the classic “Little Red Riding Hood” tale just a little bit differently than Hollywood’s most recent version.

Long, long ago, there was a wolf-man tribe who had no women. All through history these desperate wolf men have attacked and raped female humans as a way to continue their species. But the wolf men have a terrible legend where every hundred years, on the night of a red moon, a little girl is born and she is destined to destroy the wolf-man tribe. The lecherous wolf men are so afraid of females that they have developed a code which requires they kill baby girls soon after they are born. But only the lovely Beniko Akatsuki survives this terrible fate.

These days, Beniko fights endless battles against the wolf men. Poor Beniko’s mother was ruthlessly raped by a wolf man and gave birth to Beniko. To save her baby girl, Beniko’s mother had to sacrifice her own life. Now, Beniko wears a memento of her beloved mother, a red riding hood, and she has dedicated her life to killing all the wolf men. One day, Beniko senses that the evil wolf men are sneaking into a high school. The clever Beniko pretends she is a school girl and starts attending school, only to find vicious, horny pack of female-deprived wolf men. Beniko protects her fellow school girls as she fights them off with her sword and her red riding hood.

Will the brave, sexy Beniko Red Riding Hood be able to finally kill the vicious pack of sex-starved wolf-men? (Via Gamma Squad and Twitch)

So not only is the Japanese version about the sword-wielding product of werewolf-on-human rape, but she also pretends to be a high school student, flashing her boobs all over the place, because these werewolves are only into schoolgirls. I have to say, I’m just a little bit disappointed in the predictability, Japan.

Very NSFW trailer after the jump. How NSFW? It asks your age for verification and you CANNOT lie to the Internet.

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You might remember that early last year, I told you about a film Todd Phillips was making before Hangover 2, a smaller-budgeted ($12 million) “hard-R” raunchy comedy starring a cast of unknowns (all first-timers) directed by commercial director Nima Nourizadeh (with Phillips “closely overseeing”). Well now the trailer is finally here, and even though it steals the title of one my favorite Matthew Broderick chimp dramas of the 80s, it does have lots of scantily clad teens, which I enjoy. Plus, it’s very nostalgic. My high school experience was exactly like this, except instead of sex-filled pool parties, we hung out at Taco Bell and made potato guns and never got laid ever.

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Piranha 3DD has a trailer and you can watch it below. The gist of it is that the piranhas have invaded a water park this time. Yes, a water park. At least this way, you can sterilize your bite wounds with all the Mexican pee. Also, David Hasselhoff is there for some reason. Oh, and Ving Rhames has a gun for a leg. This looks good.

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The latest X-Men First Class featurette takes a fascinating look at the countless hours a team of makeup artists spent making Jennifer Lawrence look like Mystique. It shines a spotlight on some of the unsung heroes of the production crew, who’ve dedicated their lives to bringing fantasy to life, and don’t always get the credit they heh heh heh heh heheheheheheh hee hee hee hee ho ho ho ho hahaha hahahaha hehehehehehe heh heh hmm hee hee hee LOOK AT ‘EM! IT’S A TEAM OF BRITISH AND ASIAN CHICKS LOVINGLY TICKLING JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S BOOBS AND VAGINA WITH HORSE FUR! Oh jeez, I think I just blue my load. (EH OH, MORE LIKE X-MEN FIRST ASS, GNOME SAYIN? OH!)

So much personality, and without even Andy Serkis to help animate them. I’m telling you, Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs should warrant serious awards consideration. “What? No, leave me alone, mom! I’m doing important work!”

[via Collider]

"Excuse me, Ma'am? I'd be happy to check your luggage, but first I'm going to need to inspect your 'bags."

Here’s part two of my Comic Con Photo Diary. This batch containing EVEN MORE CLEAVAGE!  With EVEN LESS PANEL COVERAGE! Actually, after about three hours of walking around taking pictures of every sexy, revealing, funny, or cool costume I could find, I found that my peripheral vision had become so finely attuned to shapeliness or cleavage of any kind (yes, even more so than usual), that any time a voluptuous lass hove into my field of view, I found I’d spun around to face her with my camera out asking if I could take a picture before my conscious mind had even caught up to what I was doing. Let me just say that if the busty lady in question isn’t actually wearing a costume at the time, this can lead to an unpleasant situation. I take full blame for that. In fact, that’s rule number one for Comic-Con: if you want to take a picture of an attractive lady, first check to make sure she’s wearing a costume or is a promo girl of some kind, otherwise your picture request will just seem creepy, confusing, pathetic, and strange. But FilmDrunkards, I make these mistakes so that you don’t have to. (Call me sexist if you must, my girlfriend took half of these.)

Scroll on for more, starting with the Slave Leias, for obvious reasons (MO MONEY, MO MONEY, MO MONEY!). This won’t be my last batch, so look out for that sometime this afternoon or tomorrow. See also Part One here (and last year’s Comic-Con galleries here, here, here, and here).
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