So of course Christian Bale issued a response to tirade-gate:

“It’s been a miserable week for me. I know I have a pottymouth, everybody knows that now. I have no confusion whatsoever. […] I was way out of order. I acted like a punk, I regret that and there is nobody that has heard that tape that has been hit harder by it than me. I make no excuses for it […]. I’m embarrassed by it. I ask everybody to sit down and ask themselves, have they ever had a bad day and have they ever lost their temper and really regretted it immensely. Feel free to make fun of me at my expense; I deserve it completely.

On whether there are any hard feelings between he and the DP: “We have resolved this completely…I have no intention of getting anyone fired. There is no problem whatsoever.”

He continues, “One thing that has really disturbed me throughout this is I’m not familiar or comfortable with this notion of being a movie star. I’m an actor and I’m don’t quite know how to handle [the movie star thing]. The thing that disturbs me so much is that I’ve heard a lot of people saying that I seem to think I’m better than anybody else. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m a lucky SOB. I never forget that and that is why I put so much into what I do and I care so much about it . Sometimes that enthusiasm just goes awry.” [Cinematical]

Oh, Christian, just kill a hooker while flexing in the mirror and all is forgiven.  But don’t apologize to us, just thank James Lipton and Conan O’Brien for ruining the joke once and for all.  Oh my, isn’t this delightfully random!  You Harvard fellows certainly are irreverent.

Hey, remember that one day when we made fun of Christian Bale?  Whatever happened with that?  Anyway, I’m glad this meme played itself out so quickly, because now I can go back to building a sculpture of afroninja out of bacon and feeding it to my dramatic chipmunk while singing Chocolate Rain and running over a local news reporter with my car. “Baba Booey Baba Booey Baba Booey!” I’ll shout.

“Bale Vs. O’Reilly” – pretty obvious, but not bad. [via SickPigs]

“Bale vs. O’Reilly” part Dieux. [via /Film]

“F-cking Newsies” – Eh. [via BWE]

“Bale vs. Lily Tomlin” – Ehhhhh… [via JoBlo]

“Bale Rant as Performed Verbatim by Real-Life Nerd Toby Radloff” – Um… Points for Autism? [via Blip]

Now, let us never speak of this again.

Back when fake Warner Bros spokesman guy started, I never expected him to get so much mileage out of such a narrowly targeted schtick (see also his response to Batman, Turkey).  But here he is, back with a new video (below) in response to the Christian Bale tirade.  And he has something very important to say to all you haters out there.

“Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, American Psycho – what do these films have in common? They’re all films where Christian Bale plays himself, you cocksuckers.  You think having a circus clown mother and years of steroids does nothing to the rage that builds inside of you?  You better run, run and pray Christian Bale can’t find you.”

I find a good solution for nasty rage buildup is Metamucil.  Metamucil and raquetball.

[thanks to Comedy.com]