This is the trailer for The Crazies, Breck Eisner’s remake of the 1973 George Romero flick. Breck Eisner is the son of former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, and last directed the megaflop Sahara. This one has Timothy Olyphant, and also zombies. And that Mad Mad World cover song from Donnie Darko. All in all it looks pretty good if you’re into movies you’ve already seen 12-15 times. The Crazies, more like The Lazies, amirite? (*wank wank mouthfart*)
Much as I love Timothy Olyphant, Hitman was a movie based on a video game based on an amalgam of b-movies that pretty much everyone hated. But of course Fox wants a sequel. Or as IESB puts it:
IESB has confirmed that 20th Century Fox has hired writer Kyle Ward to pen the script for the sequel to Hitman! The original Hitman movie was a bona fide hit released in 2007 with an estimated gross of 100 million dollars in worldwide box office receipts not including DVD sales and television broadcast rights.
Now, I guess I don’t understand the movie business. Because it seems to me, if you open a pizza place, and everyone on the block comes to the grand opening and buys a slice, but then they spend the next week pissing out their ass and talking about how much your pizza sucks, your receipts may not be the best indicator of the public’s appetite for more of your pizza. Or as a Fox Exec might say, “Dude! Everyone’s talking about your pizza!”
Sorry for these lightning-round posts folks, but I think you’ll agree that none of these deserve a whole post for themselves. What do they look like, your mom?
Dead Snow, the Norwegian Nazi-Zombie movie has a new trailer. It’s out in limited release on June 19th. This trailer gives you a better idea of the story, which isn’t really a good thing, since the entire story consists of “There are zombies and the zombies are nazis.” The blood-puking clip is far more effective, I think. But I say that about everything.
Check out the new international trailer for Hitman here.
In the last week before it’s release, Hitman has a new international trailer. I know it’s based on a video game and all, but dare I say it, it looks kind of good. Granted, I found the mere fact that they didn’t cast Vin Diesel or any wrestlers or rappers and the trailer didn’t feature any music by Korn, Linkin Park, Disturbed, etc. pleasantly surprising.
It’s sad that I’ve come to assume that any movie that features prominently the tits and fire factor will treat its audience like WWE enthusiasts.
Of course, it is still about a killer who has an attack of conscience because of a girl… Pff, chicks, man.
In related news, I called up some Asian chicks I know and we’ll be making a porno remake of this called Agent 69.
A while back, the rumor going around was that Fox had taked control of Hitman away from director Xavier Gens. Despite denials from Fox, Hitman star Timothy Olyphant made recent statements implying Gens was fired.
When asked whether Gens was there for the re-shoots, Olyphant replied, "He’s involved. I saw him when I was there [doing the reshoots] but he did not direct the reshoots. I heard the talk on that, that he was fired. I kept saying I was trying to get that guy fired for months. They finally fired him? Fuck! I was saying that forever. He doesn’t speak English, didn’t anybody see that?" [Source]
Though sources say Olyphant seemed to be joking about that last part, his hatred of foreigners became clear when he asked an Asian reporter for "sucky sucky" and pushed a Hispanic busboy down a flight of stairs. Yes, the press conference was at a restaurant, what’s so strange about that?
Anyway, if these rumors are true, it’s a big-time disappointment. I expect one thing and one thing only out of a video-game movie: auteurship.
