After releasing a couple separate posters last week, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland marketing team has now combined them all into one glorious triptych — click the picture above a couple times and it’ll get bigger, like your sister’s clit (too far?). It opens March 5th, and as far as Tim Burton joints go, I’m hoping it’ll be more Sleepy Hollow than Planet of the Apes. My favorite part of the poster is the rabbit in the suit holding up the clock. It’s like the Disney version of a Public Enemy record, and I like that. All rap should be more like this. Bunnies are less threatening.
[via /Film]
When I posted the first poster for Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton’s adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s book about how awesome it is to give drugs to young girls, I wondered aloud why the lead and Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter weren’t in it. Guess they were just saving them for this one. Here’s Mia Wasikowska in trademark Burton pale tiptoeing through a magical garden or magic mushrooms and old people flowers. Cor bloimey, guv, moy rabbit ‘as got pink eye, ‘e does! Bot dat’s wot ‘e gets for sniffin’ me knickas, Oy s’pose.
[via Wired]
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Yeah, so the headline’s pretty self-explanamatory. This is the poster for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, opening March 5th in annoying 3D. It stars Mia Wasikowska as Alice (curiously absent from the poster, as is Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter), Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, the Cheshire Cat (voiced by Stephen Fry), and Matt Lucas as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Hey, whatever keeps him from doing another season of Little Britain. I can’t tell if that show is terrible, or if it’s just mediocre and the horrendous laugh track is what makes it seem so loathsome. And I can’t make fun of his weird bald look because he has alopecia, but I will say that those horizontal stripes are doing him NO favors. *bitchily sips flirtini*
[via /Film]
(”ALICE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WAY YOUNGER.”)
Off-kilter font, super pale chicks with cleavage, Johnny Depp in makeup… yep, looks like a Tim Burton movie. This is the newest trailer for Alice in Wonderland (Mia Wasikowska as Alice, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, plus Anne Hathaway, Crispin Glover, Helena Bonham Carter, and that fat weirdo from Little Britain), just released by Spike TV. It’s more or less the same as the last one, but with a little more footage. It looks to be a faithful adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s tale about how doing drugs is awesome, originally composed for a 9-year-old girl. It sold far better than Carrol’s next two books, This Will be Our Little Secret and No One Likes a Tattletale.
These are pictures from the “Tim Burton-inspired fashion editorial” in the October issue of Harper’s Bazaar. Tim Burton himself even appears in one of them. Other than that, it’s your basic fashion show — anorexic chicks with 8th-grade educations in geisha makeup walking around in preposterous outfits that make everyone want to smoke. Fashion shows are basically the bohemian equivalent of NASCAR: a massive waste of natural resources and man-hours that any reasonable society would be wise to ban. The key difference being that you can’t watch a fashion show from the roof of your RV whilst enjoying a cold Bud. Advantage: NASCAR.
And you know, girls, a little Edward Scissorcrotch action wouldn’t have hurt either.
