The Farrelly Brothers’ passion project, Three Stooges (once set to star Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio Del Toro, if you can believe that) finally has a trailer, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t know whether to stoke the fires of righteous disbelief with a screencap of Snooki, or stoke your boners with a picture of Kate Upton in a bikini. Decisions, decisions. In the end I tried to have it both ways, which I realize now is probably really confusing.

Left on a nun’s doorstep, Larry, Curly and Moe (Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos), grow up finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking and woo-woo-wooing their way to uncharted levels of knuckleheaded misadventure. Out to save their childhood home, only The Three Stooges could become embroiled in an oddball murder plot…while also stumbling into starring in a phenomenally successful TV reality show. [Apple]

I guess the big question is, will it be an abortion, a disaster, a travesty, or just a mild blaspheming? Let’s find out!

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As Vince pointed out earlier, Bobby and Peter Farrelly are trying desperately to climb back to the top of the Hollywood comedy mountain after plummeting to a snowy grave somewhere around 2003. The first step in returning to glory is apparently their Three Stooges project and the second step is a sequel to Dumb and Dumber, which was a huge success 17 years ago.

The plan is to give Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd the Rocky V treatment and pretend like it never existed. Judging by the $40 million it made at the box office in 2003, that won’t be too hard. So how serious are the Farrelly brothers? They’re getting the band back together.

Now, things are heating up. The original Dumb and Dumber, made on a $16 million budget, grossed nearly $250 million worldwide. They could have done this a long time ago, but New Line unwisely went forward with Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd. Original producers Charles B. Wessler, Brad Krevoy and Steve Stabler will be back as producers, as will the Farrelly’s longtime Conundrum Entertainment partner Bradley Thomas.

(Via Deadline)

Before anyone gets too excited, the new Dumb and Dumber, which Jim Carrey has also said is happening, will be written by Sean Anders and John Morris, who just wrapped up Adam Sandler’s I Hate You, Dad*, which means they could be under the Happy Madison spell, in which case they’ll need to be deloused and treated to comedy therapy first.

As for casting, the Farrellys should stick to the original film’s formula and have Harry and Lloyd fighting over an attractive redhead. Maybe Emma Stone is available.

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The Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie, which was once set to star Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Penn, before Sean Penn Haiti’d the entire project, just released its first official image, with replacement cast Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos, and Sean Hayes. So… What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to start bashing this thing before I’ve seen any of it, but isn’t this a little weird? Trying to mimick the original Three Stooges clothes and haircuts seems a little like sticking a guy in a black turtleneck and pretending he’s George Carlin. It’d be fine for a dramatization of Carlin’s life, but it seems like it’d be asking a lot for us to laugh at his Carlin-esque jokes.

Even the Stooges, when when it was Larry, Moe, and Shemp, or Larry, Moe, and Joe Besser, they didn’t really try to make you think you were watching the same lineup (they sort of did with Curly Joe, but even then it was a little different). Even if it’s really funny, it’s seems like it’s going to be hard for people to get past the basic cognitive dissonance of going, “Hey! Those aren’t the Stooges!” But then, what do I know, I’m just a pampered debutante.

The comedy is not a biopic but instead is shot in three segments in the style of their film shorts from the ’30s and ’40s and places the trio in contemporary times as they struggle to save the orphanage where they were raised. The Farrellys, known for R-rated ribaldry, have vowed to keep the humor at a PG level. But with Larry David as a vindictive nun, an appearance by the kids of The Jersey Shore and even that hunky Old Spice guy in the cast, the slapstick should still run amok. [USA Today]

“Wait, so you’re telling me it’s going to be a contemporary orphanage run by nuns?”

“Right! And, the cast of Jersey Shore will be there!”

“…Check, please.”

(Click to enlarge. If you dare.)

This Week in Posters: Twilight, The Muppets, horrible Brett Ratner posters, when diagonals attack, PLUS — VAMPIRE DOG!

This Poster: Holy hell, that is the gayest Mervyn’s ad I’ve ever seen. Ever noticed how these movies are creepy for all the wrong reasons? Like, you can tell they’re going for goth-vampire creepy, but really they’re just dinner-with-conservative-relatives creepy? I was scrolled all the way to the right on my screen, thinking Fruitcake Cullen over there trying to look hard in a purple scarf (to say nothing of the Anne Taylor sweater and wallet chain) was the gayest thing I’d ever seen. But then I scrolled back to the left and saw Kellen Lutz looking gayer than I could even believe. “Hey, Bro, does my see-through sweater match my big leather wrist cuff?”

You know how some 50s sci-fi movies are cool because they’re this antiquated idea of what the future would be like? Twilight is kind of like that, but more like “hip goth” as filtered through this dowdy Midwestern woman.  Also, I don’t know which Hollywood costume designer I can talk to about this, but being comically overaccessorized does not make you more important. I think this is somehow Johnny Depp’s fault.

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Two years ago, the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges was set to star Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey, a strange but undeniably A-list cast.  Then Sean Penn decided he was taking a career hiatus, moved to Haiti, and started banging Scarlett Johansson, which is probably awesome for him, but the Three Stooges cast fell apart.  The film is finally set to start shooting this month, with Will Sasso from Mad TV/Sh*t My Dad Says as Curly, Sean Hayes from Will and Grace as Larry, and Chris Diamantopoulos as Mo (that’s the first time I’ve ever typed that guy’s name — how’d I do?).  Luckily, they’ve also signed Larry David in a supporting role, because otherwise this sounds like a TV movie:

They’re closing in on a deal with Larry David to play Mother Mengele, the unfortunate nun who runs the orphanage where the Stooges grow up and learn to create mayhem. The Seinfeld co-creator will join Jane Lynch, who plays Mother Superior. [Deadline]

Knowing Larry David, who I’ve never seen play anyone but himself, I’m guessing that other than dressing him up like a woman he’ll be playing the character Norm MacDonald-style, that I’m-not-going-to-insult-you-by-pretending-I’m-even-trying method of acting (which works for them).  It will also be interesting to see the Stooges move away from broad slapstick gags and more towards long conversations about the etiquette of double-dipping and whether they respect wood.