I’m trying out a new segment here on FilmDrunk, “Who trailer’d it better?”  I plan to use it whenever I want to combine two trailers into one post.  Today, we’ve got Yogi Bear and Titanic 2.

Yogi Bear
Dan Aykroyd does the introduction and he seems reeeally happy to be here.  In any case, we see that they’ve given Yogi the live-action CG mix treatment, a la Alvin & the Chipmunks and Furry Vengeance.  Aykroyd’s Yogi voice is a little different than the one you’re used to, sort of a cross between Rodney Dangerfield and an old Rabbi, though the CGI bear seems to have all Rodney’s mannerisms. Is it wrong that I was hoping he’d punch a girl?  Based on Nic Cage’s performance in Wicker Man, I’d just assumed that’s what bears do.  Anyway, it took them almost 40 seconds to get to a CGI animal, hip-hop dance scene, compared to 38 seconds for Beverly Hills Chihuahua and 22 for Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.  I am never, ever going to get back the 15 minutes I spent calculating that.

Titanic 2
With a title like that, it has to be good!  From the studio that brought you Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train!

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George Lopez recently took a page from Dane Cook’s playbook, apologizing for his part in the Beverly Hills Chihuahua trailer, which was loathesome enough to spawn an its own New York Times article, and an entire YouTube category devoted to reaction videos.

“If you’ve seen the trailer, it’s either the greatest trailer you’ve ever seen if you’re 10, or the most annoying trailer you’ve ever witnessed in your life if you’re an adult,” Lopez confessed, laughing. “Disney’s doing a fantastic job of hooking the kids — they can’t wait. And if they hook the kids? The parents GOTTA take them!”

(Sample line from trailer’s song: “We’re the real hot dogs. Yo! Hold the bun.”)

10-year-old kids think anything is the most amazing thing they’ve ever seen.  I saw a bullfrong jump in a pond once when I was 10 and almost had an orgasm.  I think it’s pretty safe to say you could lock up the 10-year-old kid audience without making something that inspires people to buy annoying yapdogs.  In fact I have a movie pitch for you, it’s called Beverly Hills Paint My House.