This is the "I Drink Your Milkshake" sketch from Saturday Night Live the other night (if the embeddable player above isn’t working, try the one after the jump).  It’s a little long with not enough jokes for my taste, but Bill Hader does do a good impression. 

I still say they missed a golden opportunity to beat Kenan Thompson to death with a bowling pin.   

This story’s a little old, but no one seems to have picked up on it.  Anyway, it’s a USA Today report about how "I drink your milkshake" from There Will be Blood has become the hot catchphrase (and an Oscar-season promotional tool, as you can see from the schwag the studio’s sending around – pictured at left).

New York magazine even offers a user’s guide to the phrase. It suggests using it as sports metaphor ("The Celtics drank the Knicks’ milkshake last night"), a sexual double entendre or a taunt, as in "You’d best back down before I drink your milkshake."

But more interesting than the look-what-the-kids-are-doin angle is the story of the phrase’s origin:

[Director Paul Thomas] Anderson concedes that he’s puzzled by the phenomenon — particularly because the lines came straight from a transcript he found of the 1924 congressional hearings over the Teapot Dome scandal, in which Sen. Albert Fall [this guy] was convicted of accepting bribes for oil-drilling rights to public lands in Wyoming and California.  In explaining oil drainage, Fall’s "way of describing it was to say ‘Sir, if you have a milkshake and I have a milkshake and my straw reaches across the room, I’ll end up drinking your milkshake,’ "

In related news, my great-great grandfather Abelard originated the phrase "threw him under the bus" when he pushed a young waif under the wheels of a passing trolley as a practical joke.  "Bully!" he shouted, and everyone had a droll time.  

[Thanks to BGavin for the tip]

Some E-Cards is clearly one of the best sites on the internet.  Thank God they finally did something movie-related so I can give them a shameless endorsement. 

Today I bring you their line of Oscar-themed e-cards.  Some of my favorites: "Juno showed me that speaking in cute lingo can negate the horrifying chaos of an unwanted pregnancy," and "I think the dark horse for Best Actor is Viggo Mortensen’s cock." 

We salute you, Some E-Cards writing team. (click on thumbnails to enlarge) 

Here’s a nice little video from David Spade on Funny or Die called ‘There Will Be Oscars’.

"Johnny Depp can sing; who gives a fuck?  I sing in the shower, no one’s throwing awards over the curtain."   

"Tim Burton’s not a genius, I have some bad news for you people."

"Michael Clayton?  H.W. calls it ‘Michael Gay-ton’. That’s a burn."

Christ, it’s almost like I wrote it myself!  But I didn’t.  David Spade did.  He’s five foot six and he bangs playmates.  Mega frownies :-( :-( 

[Thanks to DF for the tip] 

That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will Morgan Freeman run for President?  Do Bugle snacks make your boners stiffer? Would this monkey let me fondle her tits for a banana?  Who knows! Let the guessing begin!

The rumor in question comes courtesy of BloodyDisgusting, who’re reporting that There Will Be Blood director Paul Thomas Anderson may be considering a horror movie for his next project.  The following is my reenactment of how this rumor came about.

A fat guy with long hair (used to be a ponytail, but he doesn’t tell people that) and a goatee wearing a leather jacket and Pantera T-shirt (the metal-est guy in the I.T. department) yells at PTA as he’s crossing the street.

"Hey dude, why don’t you do a horror movie?"

[PTA, at first caught off guard and then mildly disgusted] "Huh? Oh, haha, yeah, good idea." [gets in car and drives off]