“This are the censors that create a virtual skeleton of Karl’s body, and these are the lumpy man tits that keep him from getting proper acting roles.”

Classically-trained British thespian Andy Serkis is famous for being the man pretending to be a chimp learning to become a man who taught us all what it means to be human in Rise of Planet of the Apes, grunting and pooping in a grey leotard as many a producer hailed his performance as “So, so brave,” clapping slowly in awe, eyes welling up with tears. Serkis was so inspired by the work that he’s set up his own Imaginarium Studio, “to develop the art of motion capture in the UK.” Gollum University, I like to call it.

Thanks to heroes like Andy Serkis, we’ll never again have to see a Jurassic Park where soulless dinosaurs are moved around by puppeteers or controlled by mechanical animatronics. They’ll be given heart, soul, and emotion, by people who know how mythical creatures and extinct beasts should feel. Actors! Wearing spandex!

Anyway, Serkis’s Imaginarium announced they’d be producing a motion-capture take on George Orwell’s Animal Farm a few months back, and he recently gave BBC News a tour of his facilities.

They do important work.

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“CURSE THIS DAMNABLE AUTOCORRECT!”

The best thing about Daniel Day-Lewis is that he’s an incredible actor, and in Lincoln, he made almost everyone else look like they were in a high school drama class by comparison, especially Sally Field. The worst thing about him is that by being so good while so nutty, he validates all the silly method processes actors think they need in order to convincingly pantomime. In the mid nineties, Lewis trained with boxing champ Barry McGuigan twice a day, seven days a week for three years before starring in The Boxer. For The Crucible, he built his character’s house himself using 17th century tools. On Lincoln, you just know he was screaming about being “clothed in immense power” every time a PA screwed up his macchiato, and Sally Field seems to confirm as much in an interview with Backstage (emphasis mine):

When did you actually meet Daniel as Daniel?
Field: I never met him. Never. I met him as Mr. Lincoln. He met me as his Molly, as he called her. And that’s how we knew each other. And we began a relationship. He began it, not me. After I got the role, there were seven months before we began to shoot and he would text me all the time, in character. I would have to then answer back in the language of the time, which was really hard to figure out, but great fun. And we were very much our characters. I would criticize him for the language he just used, as Mary, would and that was really the beginning of building a relationship that you see on screen.

Man, that’s almost as good as Wesley Snipes signing his post-it notes “from Blade.” More importantly, I think there’s a pretty obvious opportunity for a single-serving Tumblr or Twitter here, “Texts from Abe Lincoln.”

TO: Mme Bixby

SO sry 4 ur loss ;-(. No wrd I say cn assge ur brvmnt. A mlln thx 4 ur cstly scrfce on altr o frdm :-D

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Less than a week after first introducing himself to the world, Rex Velvet, Seattle’s real-life supervillain and self-appointed foil to real-life superhero Phoenix Jones, has released a follow-up video. It’s pretty much the same as the last one, but have to say this for him, he’s really putting a lot of work into these.

My my my, what a world we live in. I call out an arrogant, neurotic, full-grown man on his failed efforts as a self-proclaimed superzero, and madness ensues! It’s time you dorks realized that the world is not impressed with your playground movements, nor your ability to aim and fire a silly can of mace!

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