The Ugly Truth is about a chauvinist type (Gerard Butler) with a TV show dedicated to telling women “the ugly truth” about what men want. Katherine Heigl is his feminist producer. Guess what happens.  Strangely enough, it’s almost the exact same concept as Vh-1′s Tough Love.  Now, I’m not saying that one of these came first or that someone’s idea got stolen, all I’m saying is that a special-needs chimp could’ve pulled this premise out of a rom-com lottery ball machine, and that chimp has a really good job at Fox.  (Okay, to be fair, it isn’t a Fox movie, but that was only because the Fox execs couldn’t understand the poster).

You want my impression of this movie?  Just look at these pictures back and forth really fast for two hours.  WOMEN BE SHOPPIN’!

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^{“Mind if we take a dump in here?”}

Man, Ashton Kutcher is on fire this week (not literally, unfortunately).  First he signs on for a body-swap comedy, and now a “thriller” opposite Katherine Heigl.

“Five Killers” reteams Heigl with helmer Robert Luketic, who most recently directed the thesp in upcoming romantic comedy “The Ugly Truth.”  Story kicks off when a woman meets the man of her dreams while on vacation. Married bliss is turned upside down when they discover that their neighbors may be assassins hired to kill them. [Variety]

So, to recap: Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, and the guy who made The Ugly Truth.  There’s no official word yet, but my sources tell me locusts and pestilence are also nearing a deal.

In The Ugly Truth (trailer after the jump), Katherine Heigl plays the bitchy career woman who’s unlucky in love, who gets stuck working with an incorrigible male chauvinist played by Gerard Butler. They can’t stand each other at first, but before you know it, blah blah blah it’s pretty much like 27 Dresses.  Let’s see if you can guess how this one ends:

A.    We find out Katherine Heigl was a man all along.
B.    Rosebud was the sled
C.    Katherine Heigl discovers Gerard Butler is really a sensitive soul and they fall in love when she convinces herself that she can change him
D.    Just when the aliens are about to win, we find out they’re allergic to water.
E.    Money shot

It’s a good thing Heigl isn’t forced to do sexist movies like Knocked Up anymore.  Now she can devote her full focus on these empowering stories of feminists, who find true happiness only when they meet the right guy.  Woohoo, girl power!
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As we learned from her courageous stand against Knocked Up and subsequent empowering star turn in 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl is fast becoming a role model for mormon feminists everywhere.

Great anticipation always accompanies news of her projects, the world wondering what new heights the media’s portrayal of the fairer perfectly equal sex can reach.  This time around, her she-chariot of fem-justice will be The Ugly Truth, opposite The 300‘s Gerard Butler, from the writing/directing team behind Legally Blonde. 

Story centers on a romantically challenged morning show producer (Heigl) who is reluctantly embroiled by her chauvinistic correspondent (Butler) in a series of outrageous tests to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love. [Variety] 

Wow, sounds like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days meets every romantic comedy ever written.  But I’m sure this will be great.  Katherine Heigl is a true American hero – she’s like the white Rosa Parks.  But then again, she’s not fighting for the rights of white people – so I guess she’s more like, uh, the female Rosa Parks. (Crap, I’m going to get hate mail for that, aren’t I.)