This Week in Posters was postponed last week, but now it’s here! I suppose it’s kind of a “last week in posters” now, but better late than never, right? Don’t answer that.

First up, Michael Bay’s Pain and Gain. Okay, this is a pretty fantastic poster. Not that I imagine it’s very difficult to communicate a Michael Bay plot in a single image, but this one pretty much nails it. A couple a dudes, just gettin’ pumped and shredded in front of old glory. It brings a tear to my eye. Still, asking Mark Wahlberg to play a bodybuilder and then casting a guy opposite him who’s six foot five is borderline cruel. Regardless, I’m excited to see The Rock and Marky Mark get the same borderline-porny Michael Bay treatment as the Transformers girls. I’m envisioning a nice peekaboo shot up Wahlberg’s weightlifting shorts like the Megan Fox car scene while he’s doing so wicked tricep extensions. “Hey, Dawnny! You seen my chawklit flavahed mass gainah?” (*swooping crane shot of washboard abs*)

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I haven't seen Thor or Captain America yet either. I'm super qualified to be writing this weekly guide.

That’s right folks, I’m one of the few sad assh*les who haven’t seen The Avengers yet.  Why?  Because I haven’t seen Thor or Captain America, and I hear they kind of play into things, plot-wise. So why haven’t I seen those?  Because my wife wants to see them too, but she never wants to see them, if you know what I mean.  On the plus side, we just watched What To Expect When You’re Expecting, so at least I can stop worrying about that film getting ruined for me.  Enough about me though, on to this week’s DVDs.  The big news is obviously the release of The Avengers, but I feel it’s worth noting that there’s also a big, 50th Anniversary edition box set of all 22 canonical James Bond films (sorry Never Say Never Again).  The blu-ray edition is currently the only way to get nine of the flicks on blu-ray, screwing over the people who own the other 13 007 flicks on blu and don’t want to buy them all over again, which is to say nothing of Skyfall, which will surely be included in an all-new box set in a few years when the 24th Bond film is released, but I digress. As for other, actually new DVDs, this week we’ve got Batman in addition to the Avengers, there’s a few damsels in distress, a couple of Klowns, James Franco, Samuel L. Jackson -in another movie besides The Avengers, Jessica Biel, John Malkovich, both Hilary and Haylie Duff, and John Goodman.  We’ve got a badass president, and not one but two Dove Foundation approved flicks with talking dogs -oh, and one of them is Vampire Dog!

The DVDs:
The Avengers
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
Damsels In Distress
Klown (Also available for streaming)
Vampire Dog
The Letter
The Samaritan
The Tall Man
Soldiers Of Fortune
Drunkboat
She Wants Me
388 Arletta Avenue
Deer Crossing
The Holy Roller
Golden Winter
FDR: American Badass

Admit it, you’re kind of curious about Drunkboat. Well, you know the drill.  Continue reading on the next page. Of course, you can always skip right to the Netflix page by clicking here, but if you do you’ll never find out which American Pie star is headlining the non-vampire talking dog flick. Read the rest of this entry »

In honor of Magic Mike opening today, I’m leading off This Week in Posters and Stills with an old picture of Channing Tatum hard at work. Before he was the lead actor in some of the highest-grossing films of the year (with what’s sure to be the highest still to come), he had to work pretty hard just to earn a few singles, which is why I don’t begrudge him getting rich, now that the dollars just rain on him from the sky, like so many Tampa chicks’ panties. Click through to see the full picture.

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