Spaghetti Dog added for scale
HOLY JAILBAIT, BATMAN! Here’s a still from Spring Breakers, a seemingly teenybopper screwball comedy starring Disney Channel darlings Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson being directed by epic weirdo Harmony Korine. This is going to be so awesomely bizarre it might tear a hole in space time (with my boner). HEY, WAIT A SECOND! Is that James Franco?!
THIS WEEK IN POSTERS AND PROMO STILLS: Before we start this week, a little housekeeping. Not to get too inside baseball, but I’m moving this feature to Wednesdays, since we already have Morton’s awesome feature on the latest in DVD and Streaming running Tuesdays. Last week I expanded it from just posters to include the latest in promo stills, publicity shots, set photos, concept art, etc. Mainly, I just want it to be a place for you to get a nice little overview on the latest in movie happenings through pretty pictures, silly captions, and the occasional Photoshop. As is our way. We still cool? Cool. Stay golden, pony boy.
HAPPYTIME MURDERS, EEEEE! Above we see some concept art from The Happytime Murders, a sort of dark, Roger Rabbit-type movie directed by Jim Henson’s son Brian that apparently takes place at some kind of Muppet sex shop, and was previously described as “Avenue Q meets LA Confidential.” Holy shit this sounds awesome.
In a world where puppets co-exist with humans as second class citizens, puppet private eye and disgraced ex-cop, Phil Phillips [right], is hot on the trail of the serial killer who murdered his brother and is now targeting the cast members of the famous 80s television show, The Happytime Gang.
As the killings continue, Phil’s former flame, Jenny, is next on the list. It’s up to Phil and his ex-partner, Detective Edwards, to find the culprit, but as bad blood and old resentments resurface the clues start pointing to the only viable suspect, Phil himself. Now he’s on the run with only his wits and hard headed determination, as he tries to solve, The Happytime Murders.
Considering walking around all day with some art-school brat’s hand up your ass all day is considered normal, you can bet those muppets are into some real deviance. The only thing keeping this from being the best movie ever? Katherine Heigl may play the lead. Puke.
[IM Global via BleedingCool]
As insane as the characters he plays in his movies, screaming at iguanas that may not even be there, punching women, dressing as a bear – it’s possible Nic Cage might be even crazier in real life. He did name his son after Superman and go broke buying castles and dinosaur skulls, after all. That the real-life stories from Nic Cage’s life had never made it to the big screen before is an untapped well of material the likes of which the world has never seen. Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon (of Reno 911!, but also the writers behind Night at the Museum, Balls of Fury, The Pacifier, and Taxi ) may become the first to correct this grave mistake as Lionsgate has picked up their script, Action No. 1, based on the true story of Nic Cage’s stolen Superman comic. Specifically, Action Comics No. 1, the landmark 1938 comic that introduced Superman.
The theft of Cage’s comic made real-world headlines in 2000. The issue was missing until 2011, when it was discovered among the contents of an abandoned storage locker. It sold for a record $2.1 million at auction in November.
Man, I'm sick of musicians stealing all the good pussy
THIS WEEK IN POSTERS: This week, I expanded This Week in Posters’s mandate to include not only movie posters, but set photos and publicity stills as well. That way I could include this shot (via TheFilmStage) from the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewelyn Davis. That one’s got Justin Timberlake, Carey Mulligan, and this cat (the guy holding him is Oscar Isaac, but who’s keeping track). Most weeks, that would be the highlight, but this week, we’ve also got Val Kilmer on a BMX. BELIEVE IT!
13 is a remake of the 2005 Georgian movie (red menace not red necks) 13 Tzameti, which takes the novel step of bringing in the original director (Géla Babluani) to do the English language version. Long story short, it’s about competitive Russian Roulette, and seems to have been cast like a younger, hipper Expendables. There’s Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, 50 Cent, UFC fighters Forrest Griffin and Don Frye (the Magnum PI of MMA), HBO dreamboats Alexander Skååårsgaåaååaaård and Michael Shannon, and Motherf*ckin’ Ray Winstone (his full name). But enough from me, let’s hear what The Stath has to say.
Oi, conts, it’s Da Stafe heah, isn’ Oy. As you kin see, Da Stafe stahs in dis new fiwm Firteen, which is about Russian Roullette or some bollocks. Sahdly, I don’ get ta kiw conts wiv a chair loike oy did in dat ovva movie. But it did give me do oppahtoonity ta weah a ravva fetching bowlah cap, innit. Whoy, Oy I fink Oy look propah sophistica’ed, don’ Oy, Tommy? Anyway, dis fiwm weren’t much of a stretch for da Stafe, because whoilst Da Stafe don’ normly play a lot of Russian Roullette, sometoimes Oy DO loike ta play a littew gaime Oy loike ta caw ‘Chatsworff roulette,’ where Da Stafe goes ta da focken Playboy Mansion, frows a point glahss inta da crowd, an’ den oy ‘as ta knob whicheva bird it ‘its, now ‘asn’t Oy. Sometoimes da birds come up and dey’s loike, “Oy, Stafe, whoy ‘as you ‘it me in da ‘ead wiff diss wew ‘eavy focken point glahss?” An’ den Oy is loike, “Wew, dahlin, if Da Stafe’s wew ‘eavy focken point glahss ‘adn’t ‘it yew in da skull, ‘ow would Da Stafe know dat you is da bird da Stafe is supposed to knob tonoight?’ An’ since dat is obviously a wew romantic fing ta say to a bird, aftah dat we usually knob in da back of moy sazz wagon. Moral a da story is, bein’ Da Stafe ain’t too focken bad, is it, Tommy.
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