The @AaronSorkin Twitter account you see above may not look legit, but according to THR, EntertainmentWeekly, Salon, and others, who reported him joining the site at the end of last month, it indeed belongs to the real Aaron Sorkin. The first tweet was even a picture of Sorkin holding that day’s New York Times next to a framed poster of The West Wing (below). But I’m much more convinced by the fact that he doesn’t know (or care) how to add an avatar, classic Sorkin.

That he’d joined the social network was a big deal because The Social Network took some heat on account that out of the three principles – Sorkin, David Fincher, and star Jesse Eisenberg – none actually used Facebook. But the fact that Aaron Sorkin joined Twitter, tweeted twice, then got his account hacked by some bot sending out survey links (as of about an hour ago, as of this writing), is a more perfect Aaron Sorkin parody than any Aaron Sorkin parody could ever be. Look out, spam bot, your robot hacker hideout is about to be turned into a ping pong room.

ME: Hey, Aaron Sorkin, you should probably change your Twitter password.

SORKIN: YA THINK?!

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Every artist has idiosyncrasies, but there are times when someone’s tics are so perfectly and succinctly illustrated that it becomes impossible to un-see. Kevin Smith’s “and sh*t” was one of those times. I’d like to think my Terrence Howard’s hats megamix was one of those times (seriously, the dude owns A LOT of hats). Aaron Sorkin, your parents’ Joss Whedon, certainly has his idiosyncrasies, and this new supercut of Aaron Sorkinisms, defined here as lines of dialog appearing in multiple Sorkin projects, is definitely one of those times.

Assorted Sorkinisms include:

• Don’t get cute with me
• Fire me, or shut the hell up.
• I’m not other people.
• This chick is all about Eve.
• To say nothing of the fact…
• Ya think?
• Not for nothing…
• I’m really quite something.
• Bring it, boss.
• The streets of heaven are crowded with angels.
• That’s the cost of doing business.
• This is isn’t camp, it’s not important that everyone gets to play.

Someone as talented and prolific who’s written for as many shows as Aaron Sorkin, it’s inevitable that you’re going to plagiarize yourself from time to time. But it’s impossible for me to imagine that a guy whose pet phrases include “I’m really quite something,” “ya think?” and people correcting each other’s usage of “who” and “whom” isn’t incredibly smarmy. He strikes me as either a guy who gets punched a lot, or not enough.

[Buzzfeed]

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They're decent rowers, but their best event is the bicycle built for two

In late 2003, twin Harvard rowers Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss (played by Armie Hammer in The Social Network) hired Mark Zuckerberg to create HarvardConnection, which was basically envisioned as a dating site for Harvard students.  Zuckerberg did some work for them, then basically blew them off to start TheFacebook in early 2004, and the rest is history.  Despite the fact that the idea of Facebook wasn’t any different than Friendster or Myspace and succeeded mainly because the design just worked better, and that Facebook was different than the Winklevoss Twins’ original idea for Harvard Connection, the Winklevoss Twins sued Zuckerberg. In 2008, they received a settlement that included $20 million in cash (hopefully in a briefcase handcuffed to someone’s wrist) and partial ownership of Facebook, now worth $140 million.  Because $160 million for doing essentially nothing wasn’t enough, they appealed the settlement, claiming they’d been misled about the value of the company, and that the settlement was worth less than they had agreed to.  Yesterday, a judge threw out their appeal, telling them to take their ill-begotten money and go row a boat.

The twins had alleged they were misled about Facebook’s value when they agreed to settle their lawsuit that claimed Zuckerberg stole their idea to launch Facebook.
“At some point, litigation must come to an end,” federal appeals court chief justice Alex Kozinksi wrote for the unanimous three-judge panel “That point has now been reached.”
The twins alleged they were misled into believing the company was worth $35.90 a share because of an investment by Microsoft Corp. But they argued that the company later valued the company at $8.88 for tax purposes. The twins argue they would have demanded more stock in the company based on the lower valuation.
Kozinski said the twins were “sophisticated parties” when they agreed to the settlement during a mediation meeting.
“They brought half-a-dozen lawyers to the mediation,” Kozinksi wrote.
Facebook said Monday it was pleased by the ruling. Lawyers for the Winklevoss twins said they are reviewing the decision and have not decided on their next step. The twins could ask the Supreme Court to consider the case. [Yahoo]

Shouldn’t they also have to pay back the money for wasting everyone’s time?  If just having an idea without putting in the effort to actually execute it was worth money, every stoner I know would be a billionaire.  I hate these guys, and it’s not just because they went to Harvard, have a false sense of entitlement, row crew, wear those ugly Oakley glasses, are named “Winklevoss”, have stupid hair and vulgar nipples, and… sorry, I’m blind with rage, I forgot where I was going with this.  Is it just me, or do all crew rowers remind you of a Three Stooges bit without the sense of irony?  Jesus these guys are white. If they had played “Whitey” in a blacksploitation movie people would’ve called it over the top.

Before The Social Network came out, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg had vowed never to see it, dismissing it as a work of fiction and even going so far as to remove The West Wing from his favorite TV shows after he heard it was Social Net screenwriter Aaron Sorkin’s show.  But contrary to the movie, he’s not actually a super villain who lives in the penthouse of a clock tower with a hairless cat, he’s just a 20-something dude.  And what 20-something dude could resist seeing it if David Fincher made a movie out of his life?  Zuckerberg recently admitted to USWeekly that he’d taken his employees to a screening party, where they drank apple martinis like Justin Timberlake did in the movie.

Zuckerberg was asked about the difference between the movie and what he experienced while creating Facebook. “Where do you want to start?” he asked. Every shirt and fleece worn by the actor (Jesse Eisenberg) who played him was one he had actually worn, Zuckerberg said. The movie got a lot of stuff wrong and random details right, he said.
Reviewing the film thematically, Zuckerberg said it featured a girl who was not part of his real life. In the movie she dumped him, which, he joked, happened to him often. “They framed it as if I wanted to get girls or into some social institution,” Zuckerberg said. “I’ve been dating the same girl since before Facebook.” He concluded that the filmmakers “can’t wrap their head around the idea that someone might build something because they like building things.” [Yahoo]

I respect that Sorkin was able to write an entertaining movie about these dorks, but the fact that he still seems to think he was blowing the lid off a ring of woman-hating megalomaniacs makes him sound like a class-A Hollywood fart huffer.  Professor Appletini here is supposed to be a misogynist?  If I was Mark Zuckerberg, I’d be telling people “People can’t wrap their head around the idea that someone might build something because they like being KNEE-DEEP IN BUSTY TEENS!”  Then I’d flick my tongue at the interviewer like Gene Simmons and ride off on a high-speed cigarette boat, doing that “suck it” thing in between hip thrusts.  But fast cars and fast sluts are kind of my thing.

A MILLION DOLLARS?  THAT’S NOT COOL.  YOU KNOW WHAT’S COOL?  THIS WEBSITE.