This is one of the more impressive photoshops I’ve ever seen. (source)

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Uproxx feature: Helpful tips for sports celebrities to navigate social media. |Uproxx|
• Uproxx feature 2: How to survive a con. |Uproxx|
• Here’s the dog in a top hat Ufford stole from me. |WarmingGlow|
• Future X-Cops gets a trailer.  Yes, it’s Asian. |GammaSquad|
• Tim Tebow stole Darrell Waltrip’s car. |WithLeather|
• The NFL free agency round up.  God I hate baseball season. |KissingSuzyKolber|
• William Shatner started his own online social network.  Can you access that with a Jitterbug?  Get it, because he’s old. |Urlesque|
• NPH does the opening number at the Oscars. |InsideMovies|
• Some guy got a Neytiri tattoo. |UnrealityMag|
• Garfield minus Garfield, the movie.  Hey look, it’s Breckin Meyer. |CollegeHumor|
• 25 Hot Oscar winners, a gallery. |HolyTaco|

And finally we have a Gif to go with the best scene from the Runaways trailer.

I find it’s best if you watch it while listening to “Love Gun” by Kiss.

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(“SEE GIRLS? THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEIR BAD REPUTATION.”)

After the jump I’ve got the newest trailer for The Runaways, starring 16-year-old Dakota Fanning and 19-year-old Kristen Stewart as the leaders of the seminal girl-rock group.  It follows Cherie Currie and Joan Jett as they eschew small-town conformity in favor of being hard-ass bitches.  Critics are already calling it Whip It without roller skates.  It’s also chock full of sexiness, like Dakota Fanning seductively sucking her straw, KStew telling her “this ain’t baby shampoo”, and shooting a squirt gun down her throat.  It’s like they’re trying really hard to convince us Dakota Fanning swallows.

And then at the end, a wet, ripe cherry explodes everywhere.  Stephenie Meyers wept.

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The Runaways biopic stars almost-jailbait Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and definitely jailbait Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie, and they just released a new poster.  It may be a literal interpretation of The Runaways hit “Cherry Bomb”, but it’s also a poster for a movie starring a 15-year-old girl… which features a dripping wet cherry.  It works on so many levels, and most of them will get you arrested.  Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chris Han-sen.

New clip below, and be sure to check out what I just made.

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Sadly, I was just kidding with that headline.  This is actually the teaser trailer for The Runaways, a Floria Sigismondi biopic about 70s girl group The Runaways, starring Twilight’s Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie.  But seriously, Joan Jett is lesbian, so not calling it Heavy Metal Lesbians is a huge missed opportunity.  I figured there had to have been a movie called Heavy Metal Lesbians already, so I Googled it. I didn’t find any DVD titles, but I did get a picture of a girl peeing in another girl’s mouth, so there’s that. 

Also, I think a “South Dakota Fanning” would be a great euphemism for girls going down on each other.  Haha, my blog is about movies.

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Hey look, everyone, it’s Kristen Stewart disguised as Joan Jett for The Runaways.  You can tell she’s Joan Jett ’cause of the lesbian hair and shirt with a guitar on it. You see, in film, t-shirts are an integral part of creating a well-rounded character.  In a single glance you can oftentimes tell a guy is a bricklayer, and all because he’s wearing a tank top with a picture of a trowel on it.  Such is the magic of cinema. Gosh, I wonder if Kristen Stewart will play this role as broody and complex.  Such an actress.  Such a talent.

[via Jezebel]