Cormac McCarthy’s The Road is a hell of a book, the kind of thing you wish they’d make more movies out of instead of crap like The Lovely Bones.  It’s about a man and his son (who never get names) wandering through a post-apocalyptic wasteland of cannibals and roving bands of outlaws. Though so far, reviews of the John Hillcoat-directed movie adaptation have been sort of mixed.  I wasn’t a huge fan of Hillcoat’s last movie (The Proposition), but Viggo Mortensen is perfect casting.  That dude has looking like the survivor of an apocalyptic cataclysm down pat.

It also stars Kodi Smit-McPhee as the boy. I don’t know much about this kid other than that he clearly has a couple of a-holes for parents. Really? It wasn’t enough to stick him with a hyphen, you also had to make his first name a misspelled version of crappy name to begin with it? AND you put an ‘I’ at the end? Was he supposed to dot that with a heart? You only had nine months to come up with something he wouldn’t have to drag around like wheelbarrow full of cement his entire life, so well done. Might as well have named him Stealmylunchmoney McPussy. Then again, that was my nickname, and look how well I turned out.
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USA Today has a new batch of pictures of Denzell Washington in The Book of Eli, from the Hughes Brothers (who, unlike the Coen brothers, are actual brothers – the cool kind).  If the pictures look familiar, it’s because this movie is a lot like The Road.

In a post-apocalyptic world, a lone hero (Washington) guards the Book of Eli, which provides knowledge that could redeem society. The despot of a small, makeshift town (Oldman) plans to take possession of the book. [Wiki]

In this frame, says co-director Allen Hughes, Elie comes upon a fork in the road. “Eli’s iPod has run out of juice and to the right is the road that leads into Carnagie’s (Gary Oldman) town.  Eli makes the decision to go into town, power up his iPod and refill his canteen.” [USA Today - a few more pictures there]

And the script was written by the editor-in-chief of PC Gamer, which is perfect because video game concepts are like movie concepts that have been warmed over and generalized. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go into town and power up my wrist for a dismissive wank.  A dismissive wank that will post the apocalypse.

(Don’t worry, Viggo, someday you’ll be a butterfly.)

At long last, we have the first trailer for The Road, John Hillcoat’s (The Proposition) adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s pulitzer prize-winning novel, starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron.  McCarthy also wrote No Country for Old Men and Blood Meridian, and critics have often described his work as “gnarly as f*ck.”

The Road is the epic post-apocalyptic tale of a journey taken by a father and his young son across a barren landscape that was blasted by an unnamed cataclysm that destroyed civilization and most life on earth. [TrailerAddict]

It opens in October, and my guess is that it’s going to be pretty good.  For one thing, no one can look like the survivor of an apocalyptic event like Viggo.  For another, skulls mounted on sticks in the trailer.  Think about it, have you ever seen a movie that had skulls mounted sticks in the trailer that wasn’t awesome?  Is the answer yes?  Congratulations, you’re a liar.

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Two movies I’m excited about in a row?  I think this is some kind of record.  Either that or the coke’s working.  EEEEEEE!

Anyway, John Hillcoat’s currently hard at work directing a film adaptation of The Road, from No Country for Old Men author Cormac McCarthy.  If you’ve never read Cormac McCarthy, his sentences are as long as they are nonsensical, and yet somehow awesome.  Also, most of his books are really violent.  They’re basically like a Wesley Willis song that stabs people in the face.

The pic comes courtesy of RopeofSilicon, and in it, Viggo Mortensen seems to be saying, “Son… I’ve been bitten by a rattlesnake on the penis.  …You’re gonna have to suck out the poison.”  Or perhaps I’m reading too much into it. 

Charlize Theron will join Viggo Mortensen in John Hillcoat’s (The Proposition) adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s 2006 bestseller The Road.  McCarthy also wrote No Country for Old Men.

The Road follows a man and a boy, father and son, journeying together for many months across a post-apocalyptic landscape, several years after a great cataclysm has destroyed civilization and most life on earth. What is left of humanity now consists largely of bands of cannibals and their prey, refugees who scavenge for canned food or other surviving foodstuffs. In the novel, ash covers the surface of the earth; in the atmosphere, it obscures the sun and moon, and the two travelers breathe through improvised masks to filter it out. Plants and animals are apparently all dead (dead wood for fuel is plentiful), and the rivers and oceans are seemingly empty of life.

Apparently, it was also an Oprah Book Club selection (maybe a double feature with this and Great Debaters?).  So between Oprah liking it and the plot involving cannibals (which aren’t too much different than zombies), I’d be ripping on this pretty hard if it wasn’t a Cormac McCarthy book.  It also won the Pulitzer Prize, which I refuse to respect until they start a movie blog category.