Ten years ago, I told my friends that the hottest girls in the world were Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Today, I could probably talk them into a threeway using a carton of Parliaments and a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. Lohan could probably use both, seeing as she’s just been fired from her latest acting gig… which was also her first job in three years.

Lohan, pictured above in her version of Heaven, was set to star in The Other Side, playing a grad student on a deserted island, and featuring a cast including Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette. I can only imagine the last two were added so 1998 feels relevant again. Brittany Murphy was also once attached to star, but she’s apparently too good for any movie these days.

Fire away, MTV News:

Sources close to the production say that the financial backers of the flick had reservations about Lohan’s casting. However, USmagazine.com reports that financing difficulties for the film weren’t connected to Lohan and that it had “nothing to do with Lindsay. It was because it was an unknown director. All the major stars in this film dropped out.”

Let that be your lesson, Academy Award-nominated actor Woody Harrelson and Screen Actors Guild Award winner Giovanni Ribisi. You’re the ones who aren’t bankable, not Lindsay. She had the acute awareness to bail out before the ship sank. Lindsay is in fact the smartest actress in the history of film. She knew that between I Know Who Killed Me and present day that there would not be one role worth her time.

Huzzah, Lindsay Lohan. I, for one, look forward to your long career and even longer life.

- Burnsy

Guess what, everyone: Lindsay Lohan got a job!  Yaaay!  Wait, does this mean she won’t have to do porn?  Boooo!

Lindsay Lohan will topline indie fantasy comedy “The Other Side” alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette.

Story centers on a grad student who must spend the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. She discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret about a tragedy that took place many years before.

Feature role is Lohan’s first since “I Know Who Killed Me” in 2007, when her career stalled over assertions of unprofessional behavior. [Variety]

Woody Harrelson… Dave Matthews… Yup, that’s the weirdest cast ever.  I didn’t even know Dave Matthews acted.  But it makes sense that he’s in a movie about a college student.  Dave Matthews is to college what Kenny G is to dentists’ offices.