[via Screen Junkies]

MORNING LINKS
Kai the Hitchhiker got that surfboard and wetsuit he wanted |Film Drunk|

UPROXX Video: A Five-Second Films Compilation Reminder That LOVE SUCKS |UPROXX|

Drop the Bass Redux [via Fck Yeah Dementia]

15 Life Lessons Learned In Valentine’s Day Episodes |Warming Glow|

Michelle Jenneke Made A Swimsuit Video For Sports Illustrated |With Leather|

The Hobbit Hole Cat Litter Box Is Too Precious For Words |Gamma Squad|

10 Ice Cube Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

This Week in F–k You: Twitter Reaction Posts |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Those dresses never looked happier |theChive|

19 Things You Might Not Know About Fleetwood Mac |Buzzfeed|

Which Series Of Fantasy Films Has The Best Cast? |Film.com|

Things To Say During Sex |HuffPost Comedy|

If Movie Franchises Kept Going (and Going, and Going) |NextMovie|

A Tribute to Every Best Picture Winner |Mental Floss|

Goats Yelling Like Humans |Clip Nation|

Sixteen “true story” film characters that are as genuine as your Canadian girlfriend |Fark|

Adele Allegedly Yelled At Chris Brown At The Grammys |IDLYITW|

How To F*ck All Romantic |College Humor|

Bruce Willis Receives France’s Highest Cultural Honor, Obviously |Videogum|

Woodbury’s Unlikeliest Resident |Unreality|

Dammit, Who Told Madonna About Instagram? |The Superficial|

If You Had to Watch One of these 12 Films, Which Would You Choose Based Only on the Movie Poster? |Pajiba|

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I'm so confused!

Yesterday, we brought you the interesting story about the super secret wedding of Green Lantern and Van Wilder star Ryan Reynolds and actress Blake Lively that took place at the Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina. That’s important to note because that’s the same place that The Notebook was filmed at and… wait, Ryan Gosling is Canadian. Ryan Reynolds is Canadian. *draws things in the air with finger, types 80085 on calculator* CANADA IS INVADING SOUTH CAROLINA!

Or probably not. My math is a little fuzzy. But if I can get confused and start developing Red Dawn level conspiracies based on a simple news story, then I’m sure that other people were probably confused, too. And I’m right, because Twitter is like a giant game of drunk telephone with someone Tweeting a random statement like “Katie Holmes bought a new pair of shoes” and it eventually being manipulated into “Kelsey Grammar invokes 4th Reich, marries dog.”

So obviously, when someone reported that Ryan Reynolds married Blake Lively at the site where The Notebook was filmed, that turned into Blake Lively married Ryan Gosling, because our generation has the attention span of… I wonder what defense to play in fantasy football this week.

Read the rest of this entry »

By now, bros and babes everywhere have gone through significant mourning periods, with the news that leggy fox Blake Lively secretly married chiseled dude Ryan Reynolds over the weekend, despite knowing that he was in both Green Lantern and Blade: Trinity. But what a lot of sites failed to report as they came up with cute couple nicknames like BlakeNolds and RyLy was that the actual wedding ceremony took place at the very same place that The Notebook was filmed.

A source confirms to PEOPLE that the couple tied the knot Sunday night at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, S.C., just outside of Charleston.

The reception took place in a white tent at the plantation on Sunday evening. Florence Welch (of Florence and the Machine), a good friend of the Gossip Girl star, performed three songs live, and there was also a deejay who spun tunes. PEOPLE also confirmed that a cake was being driven down from Virginia for the event.

Florence from Florence and the Machine? That’s baller, yo.

As soon as I read this, I went out on the street and interviewed 100 random girls. I asked whether or not they thought it was strange that Reynolds, an actor, married his actress girlfriend at the same location that was used in filming a romantic drama that isn’t even 10 years old. The majority of them responded, “HELP! POLICE!” because I wasn’t wearing pants, so this poll was actually of no use.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think there’s cheesy and then there’s marrying a girl at a mansion that was used in a film based on a Nicholas Sparks novel. Obviously I’m not much of an expert here, because I’m a dick and I laugh at the end of The Notebook, but this is like if Channing Tatum had married Jenna Dewan at Nakatomi Plaza because, “Yo Die Hardz wuz da mutha f*ckin’ bizznomb bomb, son, WHAT.”

R. Kelly recently released a memoir (which was previously-shelved) called “Soula Coaster: The Diary of Me,” and… sorry, let me give you a few seconds while that sinks in. Mother of God, just look at that cover. The subtitles and microphones scream “I’m a grandiose, narcissistic sociopath!”, while the title says he’s not above a ridiculous pun. Classic R. Kelly. Now then, moving onto the story at hand, it seems that in this memoir, R. Kelly says he only realized he wanted a divorce from his former back-up dancer wife after watching the 2004 Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams weepie The Notebook.

After too many fights to count — including one in which Mrs. Kelly chucked her $50,000 wedding ring into a pond in the couple’s backyard — Kelly had an epiphany after watching the 2004 Gosling weeper “The Notebook.”

The adaptation of the Nicholas Sparks novel about a young 1940′s couple who fall madly in love, only to be torn apart by her disapproving parents. Despite her engagement to another man, their true love prevails and, well, we don’t want to spoil it, but let’s say tears will be shed.

“As the film credits started to roll, I couldn’t move. I burst into tears. People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. ‘The Notebook’ was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine had died together. But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine’s Day — when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses — that had come and gone … My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back.” [MTV]

I gather that a big part of the appeal of R. Kelly (and I can only speculate here) is that he’s a guy who’s not afraid to admit to crying like a bitch over a Nick Sparks movie to the point that his friends were embarrassed. Sociopaths are great at not feeling guilt or embarrassment. Also, I love that I have no idea whether that bit about the helicopter dropping roses is supposed to be literal or metaphorical. Even better, neither interpretation makes the gesture any less confusing! “You know, girl, the day you dumped me was like watching a F-15 drop a bomb made of doves.” Wait, what? Anyway, I’m excited to pick up the book so I can find out which movie made him want to pee on 8th graders. My money’s on The Da Vinci Code.

On related note, my google history now includes the phrase “who did r kelly pee on?”

My Sister’s Keeper stars Abigail Breslin as a girl “genetically conceived” by her parents Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric to provide organs for her cancer-afflicted sister.  From the director of The Notebook, My Sister’s Keeper is a film about friendship, family, love, and most of all, cancer.  Roger Ebert says, “I cried so hard I queefed a bon bon.” Ben Lyons called it “heartwarming, homey.”