The American Medical Association Alliance is a lobbying group made up of physicians’ spouses that does helpful things like raising money for cancer research and treating the disabled.  Ha, just kidding, they’re trying to ban depictions of smoking in movies.

“Research has shown that one-third to one-half of all young smokers in the United States can be attributed to smoking these youth see in movies,” said Dr. Jonathan Fielding, head of the Los Angeles County Public Health Department.  Fielding cited another study that he said “found that adolescents whose favorite movie stars smoked on screen are significantly more likely to be smokers themselves and to have a more accepting attitude toward smoking.”

My own research has shown that fans of Fast and Furious are 85% more like to have a favorable attitude towards cars.  Therefore, if we ban Fast and Furious, we can rid the world of almost all cars.

American Medical Association Alliance President Sandi Frost used as her chief example of a movie with “gratuitous smoking” this month’s blockbuster “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” which was rated PG-13.  “Millions of children have been exposed to the main star of the film, Hugh Jackman, with a cigar in his mouth in various scenes,” Frost said. “I’m willing to bet that not one child would have enjoyed that movie or Mr. Jackman’s performance any less if he hadn’t been smoking.”

“I know this movie is about Indians, but do they really need to carry tomahawks?  Those can be dangerous. It wouldn’t hurt the movie at all if they were playing badminton instead.”  Oh well, at least no one’s dumb enough to pay attention to these idiots, right???

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