Because you guys comment so righteously, I’ve got two prizes to give away.  The winners gets a choice of handsome, 100% cotton FilmDrunk shirt (NOW ON SALE!); OR, courtesy of the fine folks at Troma, a DVD of GRIM, which bills itself as “The most f*cked up movie of the year.”  I could tell you what it’s about, but the main thing is that it’s gory and ridiculous.  The fine folks at Troma have been sending me their latest releases, which have been a nice breath of surreality.  Just as a side note, they’re also trying to raise funds to keep the Tromadance Film Festival alive, which you can help out on Kickstarter.

Aaaaaaanyway, here are your two winners for this week.  First, in the thread for The Best Quotes from Charlie Sheen’s Howard Stern Interview:

The Jersey Devil says: Charlie Sheen will go before a judge next week to have his name legally changed to “Gnarly Sheen.”

I know that joke has been done a bunch of times by now, but I swear to you Jersey Devil was the first place I heard it, and that deserves some credit.  So send me your choice of prize, JD.  But I know how you Jersey types love your t-shirts.   Our other winner was Fek’lhr, for whom I even overlooked that this comment broke from his “third-person Klingon” schtick.

[From Channing Tatum Will Star in the Peter Pan Origin Story, "Pan"]

Fek’lhr says: Flava Flav is pretty much a shoe in for the crocodile at this point.

Tick-Tock indeed (sidenote: is the crocodile that swallowed the clock not one of the most awesome characters in all of literature?).  Also, the proper spelling is actually “shoo-in”, not “shoe-in,” but in this case I think it works.  Runners up after the jump.

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I’m not going to lie to you folks, this week’s Frotcast is not our best work.  But we did do a “Meet the FilmDrunkards” segment with everyone’s favorite speaking-in-the-third-person Klingon commenter The Mighty Feklahr and discuss The Expendables.  So maybe… it’s actually… our best work?  No, that’s just the Four Loko hangover talking.  I do believe we’ve fixed many of our audio quality issues though.  Anyway, my favorite Expendables scene was the combination waterboarding/wet t-shirt scene.  Discuss.

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Frot on.

While it’s true that we’re currently waiting for a re-up on FilmDrunk shirts, there’s still reason to celebrate as I’ve got three copies of the Showgirls 15th Anniversary Sinsational Edition to give away.  It hits stores on DVD and Blu-ray tomorrow with a g-string stuffed full of special features, including the “Pole Dancing: Finding Your Inner Stripper” featurette, a lap dance tutorial from the world-famous Girls of Scores, commentary from Showgirls connoisseur David Schmader, a full-length trivia track, and more.  You can even keep up with the Showgirls with pictures and updates on their new Twitter account.  Oh, I’m sorry, did I misspell “sensational?”  Typical me, I’m such a sinner.  (*licks stripper pole*)

Okay, time to choose the winners.  Had to give the top nod to The Mighty Feklahr from the Sword-Wielding Porn Star Falls Down Cliff story:

The Mighty Feklahr has watched these a couple times now, and He is pretty sure that on the way down Steven Driver yells, “There…can be…only one…f*ck…I mean…as…you…wish…”

Not many other people can cram a third-person shtick, a Princess Bride reference, and a Highlander reference into the same comment and still make it relevant to the story at hand.  That was beautiful.

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THE PLUG: This week’s comments of the week winner receives a copy of Gary Giddins’ WARNING SHADOWS: Home Alone with Classic Cinema.

WARNING SHADOWS: Home Alone with Classic Cinema is a new book by award-winning music and film critic Gary Giddins that provides readers with a guided tour from the early days of film to the modern digital era of DVDs and online video streaming. Giddins provides insight into the most famous actors, directors, and innovators who made and continue to make films possible, and he examines how developments in technology—from “talkies” to television to special effects to the Internet—effect America’s involvement in the arts, entertainment, and culture.

Buy. That. Sh*t. Now. Or else your flowers will wilt and your parents will die like Jacktion!’s.

THE WINNERS: I’m doing things a little different this week.  I’ll give you the top two comments, and you vote for the winner in the comments section. This week, there are two deserving comments, and they both reflect two opposing philosophies.  Jacktion!’s comment on Lindsay Lohan being cast in a Linda Lovelace biopic is brilliant, simple, succinct, cutting, and perfectly relevant:

Jacktion!: I think Lindsay Lohan is playing Linda Lovelace in the porn remake of the Linda Lovelace biopic.

Meanwhile, The Mighty Feklahr’s comment on Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson confirming their relationship is the opposite:

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(photo credit = marriedtothesea)
Comments of the Week is that time of the week when I recognize the commenters that babysat the funny, and molested it.  Usually it happens Monday morning, but daddy drinks.

As always, the way this works is, at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of THIS post (below).  I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

Up to speed?  Let’s do this.  First up, nothing like an awful tragedy to bring out the best of the comments section.  From DADDY ATE MY EYES:

Burnsy says: “That little boy just became 100% sexier to me.”

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