Yup, still love The Lonely Island.  “You’re still a c*nt, Steve, go f*ck your snake.”

MORNING LINKS

The Best Of #Party Down [UPROXX]

Meme Watch: Lenny Kravitz Auditions For Hipster Verizon Guy [UPROXX]

Pruney fingers may serve a practical purpose. |GammaSquad|

Darnell Docket is a great American, find out why. |WithLeather|

Louis C.K.: Why Farts Are Funny [WarmingGlow]

BBQ’s & Boomboxes: 25 Essential Summer Songs [TSS]

Chris Hansen caught cheating. With a woman. Lame. |TheDailyWhat|

I don’t know who Michelle Hunziker is, but her boobs seem nice. |TheSuperficial|

Al Roker and the World’s Ugliest Dog are besties. |Videogum|

Monthly fail compilation, June 2011. |GorillaMask|

Aw, Chinese people have memes too, they’re just like us. |Buzzfeed|

Nerds throughout the ages. |HolyTaco|

Art School In A Sentence. [NextRound]

A guide to judging a woman by her swimwear, thought I don’t know why you’d want to do that. |Guyism|

Bryan Cranston joining Gangster Squad. |ScreenJunkies|

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I always thought MacGruber was kind of a stupid sketch and I can’t believe they’re making a movie out of it.  But with a hard-R rating, a guy from The Lonely Island directing, and Val Kilmer playing a villain named “Cunth,” who knows, maybe the good can out weigh the Lorne Michaels.  Here’s the synopsis the studio just released:

MACGRUBER April 16, 2010
Genre: Action comedy
Cast: Will Forte, Ryan Phillippe, Kristen Wiig, Val Kilmer, Powers Boothe and Maya Rudolph
Screenplay by: Will Forte, John Solomon, Jorma Taccone
Directed by: Jorma Taccone

Only one American hero has earned the rank of Green Beret, Navy SEAL and Army Ranger. Just one operative has been awarded 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor and 7 presidential medals of bravery. And only one guy is man enough to still sport a mullet. In 2010, Will Forte brings Saturday Night Live’s clueless soldier of fortune to the big screen in the action comedy MacGruber.

In the 10 years since his fiancée was killed, special op MacGruber has sworn off a life of fighting crime with his bare hands. But when he learns that his country needs him to find a nuclear warhead that’s been stolen by his sworn enemy, Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer), MacGruber figures he’s the only one tough enough for the job.

Assembling an elite team of experts-Lt. Dixon Piper (Ryan Phillippe) and Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig)-MacGruber will navigate an army of assassins to hunt down Cunth and bring him to justice. His methods may be unorthodox. His crime scenes may get messy. But if you want the world saved right, you call in MacGruber. [Collider]

Haha, “Cunth.”  Gets me every time.

As EW reports, Jonah Hill and friends presented a script to the major studios yesterday.

Hill and writing partners Max Winkler [The Fonz's kid] and Matthew Spicer turned over a super-secret script that only Hollywood’s top studio heads were allowed to read. The high-profile spec is called The Adventurer’s Handbook and centers on four 20-something guys who, inspired by a book of the same name, set out overseas in search of a mysterious location described in the book. The script was sent over on red, watermarked paper so it couldn’t be photocopied. Multiple studios were interested in the project described as an edgy, broad comedy. [E.W.]

Today, Variety reports that Universal bought the script for seven figures, with Lonely Islander Akiva Schaffer in negotiations to direct and Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) on to star.  Look, I have a ton of respect for anyone who sells a spec script, but let me explain how this worked: NO ONE READ IT.  Two days? Not a f-cking chance.  At best, someone’s assistant skimmed it and then explained it to the people with the cash.  I’m not saying it’s going to be shitty, but I have a term I’d like to introduce for a movie that ends up sucking because people bought the pitch without reading the script: “Turd of Mouth”.

Sorry I couldn’t get to this before you may already have seen it on GorillaMask, but here’s this week’s SNL Digital Short, “Jizzed in My Pants” (also in YouTube format below, for you international types).  The big news is that /Film is reporting that it’s also the first single off Incredibad, the forthcoming The Lonely Island album, which they say will be released February 10, 2009.  You may remember The Lonely Island from “Just 2 Guyz,” which I posted a few weeks ago. “Just 2 Guyz” will also be on the album. 

The other big news is that you’re now apparently allowed to say “Jizz” on network television.  Things overheard as a result:

John Madden: “Here it comes – BOOM!  Boy, for my money, Pat, no one jizzes on a secondary like Brett Farve.”

Lou Dobbs:  “One day America will wake up and realize that we cannot continue to let these illegal Mexicans come in here and jizz all over our culture.”

Top Chef host Tom Colicchio: “Look, you can’t take a lump of tuna, jizz sauce all over it, and call it a tartar.  That’s just not how it works.”

Barbara Walters: “It’s amazing to walk the streets of New York these days.  You can almost see the hope Barack Obama has jizzed into the eyes of the American people.”

Bill O’Reilly: “Dammit, people, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, the thing about Barney Frank is – Hey, what the f-ck?  Can’t you cocksucking motherf-ckers hold the motherf-cking camera still?  Jesus f-cking Christ.  Look you jizz monkeys, I can either do the f-cking show or hold the f-ckin camera steady, I can’t do both.”

Lindsay Lohan [during an interview with Billy Bush]: “You can’t believe every rumor you hear, Billy. Samantha and I are still very much in love.  But I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t miss getting jizzed on.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Friday Free for All is that time of the week when I have an excuse to post a funny video out of laziness. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com.

Friday Free for All is Saturday Free for All this week due to the holiday. Anyway, this one’s an oldie but goodie. Andy Samberg and friends used to make videos on a site called thelonelyisland before they got hired by SNL, and most of their videos are pretty much exactly like SNL Digital Shorts. This one’s called “Just 2 Guyz” and is a personal favorite of mine. I totally agree with the premise. Who needs other people when you’ve got spinach dip?

In other news, my digital shorts are crotchless.