Armie Hammer says he talked to some Indians and Johnny Depp’s bird hat is totally cool

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.22.13

It’s always tricky casting a white actor to play a famous minority, so when Johnny Depp strapped a bird to his head to play Tonto in The Lone Ranger, those involved had to know they were going to take some heat for it (unless they’re complete idiots, and having seen Jerry Bruckheimer’s previous movies, the jury’s still out). I don’t think it’s always wrong for a white actor to play a non-white role, but if you’re an American Indian actor or an actor from another historically marginalized group, I can understand why you’d be pissed about one of the precious few roles specifically tailored to you going to a white dude. (Though for what it’s worth, Depp does describe his great grandmother as “quite a bit of a Native American.”). Meanwhile, Depp’s Lone Ranger co-star Armie Hammer, possibly the whitest man alive, says it wasn’t an issue at all, because the American Indians they talked to during filming (some of them paid consultants, presumably) all thought his kemosabe’s kabuki was hunky-dory. Hakuna matata and all that shit.

The actor turned up in Las Vegas with Depp last Wednesday to unveil 20 minutes of new footage from the film to movie theater owners at CinemaCon. Before being honored as the Male Star of Tomorrow at the conference a day later, Hammer defended his film’s depiction of Tonto, saying that the cast worked with many Native Americans on the project.
“They were nothing but excited about it. They loved it — they’re thrilled,” the actor said in an interview. “It’s so funny, because every Native American we talked to was like, ‘This is awesome! I’m so excited.’ And every white person we talked to was like, ‘How dare you cast a non-Native American?’ It’s like, the white people are the one who have the problem, but the Indians — the Native Americans — are like, ‘This is great. We love it.’” [LATimes]

Sure they did, but then again, the ones he talked to were probably hanging around craft services all day, and you know how those people get around the fire water (*pantomimes “glug-glug”*). What? What’d I say? I kid, I kid. On a serious note, Armie Hammer has to walk a delicate line defending the dubious decisions of people cutting him a huge paycheck, and as such it’s all but impossible for him not to say the occasional kinda dumb thing. I don’t have a problem with Johnny Depp playing an American Indian (not that it’s my place to…), but I do think it’s hilarious to watch them try to spin Johnny Depp starring in a Jerry Bruckheimer movie as some kind of tribute to the proud American Indian peoples. That’s basically like McDonalds calling their breakfast burritos a show of solidarity with the Latino community.

See also: Johnny Depp explains the origin of his bird hat.

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The New ‘Lone Ranger’ Trailer Looks Pretty Familiar, Too

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.18.13

“HOW… do I get up from here? Seriously, help.”

Another day, another summer blockbuster trailer, friends. It’s almost as if it’s about time to unleash one of my award-winning Summer Movie Guides on us. What? A piece of paper with my dog’s paw print stamped on it is an award. You’re just jealous you don’t have one.

Anyway, in keeping with today’s theme of this year’s big action films that look awfully familiar, the newest trailer for The Lone Ranger has arrived, and it features Johnny Depp at his most face-painted while Armie Hammer continues his transition into a leading man whose name I refuse to believe is real.

I couldn’t help but think of The Legend of Zorro and Wild Wild West while watching this trailer, between the unlikely goofball team of heroes, fancy gadgets and all the explosions. But neither of those movies had a white guy pretending to be a Native American by wearing a bird on his head, so what the heck do I know?

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This Week in Posters: Arrested Development Boners – Engorge!

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.11.13

Strap in, folks, we’ve got a massive haul in the poster department this week, starting with everyone’s favorite, Arrested Development. This brand new batch of AD posters features neither actors nor characters nor names of any kind, and instead cleverly focuses on the lifeblood of the Arrested Development phenomenon – insidery references to obscure plot points. Understanding them will make you feel like a part of a hip, exclusive club! Americana, minutia – call it Arrested Developmentia. I hear if you understand all the Arrested Development references in these, you can collect “bacon points” that can be redeemed for your exclusive Star Wars mash-up. #TheInternetExplained

ONLY 45 DAYS AWAY FROM THE PREMIERE OMG OMG OMG (*fans face with hand, pees pants, faints*)

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Your Super Bowl Movie Spot Round Up

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.04.13

Oh, Shutterstock.

Even if you’re a sport-hating commie, you could probably still tell the Super Bowl happened last night, if only by all the hungover people and clogged toilets. Speaking for myself, I can tell you that if your team starts losing, definitely don’t start chugging Jameson just because someone says so. Lesson learned. Let’s just say it wasn’t only the Superdome that experienced a blackout last night. Anyway, if you’re like me and you can’t remember or you skipped the game to do something “productive,” we’ve still got you covered with all the movie spots right here. I’m just glad GoDaddy isn’t a movie, because my stomach couldn’t handle that again. GoDaddy may have surpassed Geico and Zoosk.com in awful obnoxious ad department. Can you imagine getting stuck talking to a guy who came up with those Geico or GoDaddy ads at a party? If you didn’t at least sock him in the belly you would be a failure to society.

Read on for Iron Man 3, Snitch, Oz the Great and Powerful, 6 Fast 6 Furious, The Lone Ranger, Star Trek Into Darkness. and some random Old Milwaukee commercial where Will Ferrell makes out with an Asian lady.

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New Lone Ranger trailer actually has some lone ranger in it

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.11.12

You’re not in Connecticut anymore, kemosabro

The newest trailer for Jerry Bruckheimer’s $250 million-plus Lone Ranger movie is now online (embedded below), and while the first trailer focused almost solely on Johnny Depp’s bird-hat Tonto, the new one gives us much more of Lone Ranger Armie Hammer, the only actor WASPy enough to make Johnny Depp look ethnic by comparison. He wakes up on a giant platform atop a mountain in the desert, because Indians had lots of time for cinematic crap like that, and there he meets Tonto, who knows the Lone Ranger will be a great warrior because the Lone Ranger’s horse told him so. Two key points to remember in this one: Tonto can talk to horses, and Silver is a psychic horse. Tonto and LR decide to “ride for justice” and Armie puts on a mask, and Helena Bonham Carter shows up and she doesn’t even have her obnoxious rat’s nest hair for once, and then there’s some shooting and trailer music. But riddle me this, kemoslobber, why can’t Johnny Depp decide whether to use definite articles? Either say “the” or don’t, man, no one wants to see half a stereotype.

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