Parody of The Hurt Locker based on David Morse’s scene, with just a little additional intensity. [via THD]

MORNING LINKS

10 Awesome Fan Reimaginings of Popular Characters [Uproxx]

Reading Material For The Geek In Your Life [Uproxx]

Can Google Buy Your Love with Free Wi-Fi This Christmas? They already bought my love down on the corner. By the way, your mom says hi. [UproxxNews]

Don Draper says What What (in tha butt) [WarmingGlow]

I’m puttin’ this whole game in mah reahview. [WithLeather]

Is Marvel doing a War Machine movie? I don’t know. Do they like money? [GammaSquad]

Crossing The Line: 10 Most Outrageous Verbal Attacks In Sports History [TheSmokingSection]

Zac Efron vs. Zach Galifianakis (As Moderated by Zack Morris). Zack Attack! [Clutch]

Ten Great Moments in Conan O’Brien History [TheSmokingJacket]

Terrifying pictures from a shark dive. Obligatory “I’m a shaaaaaaaaark” pictures included [Fark]

You raff, you ruse [Urlesque]

The Top 25 Celebrities Who Have Defied Death [BroBible]

No Mary Jane In ‘Spider-man’ Reboot [ScreenJunkies]

Kanye West Performing On A Delta Airlines Flight [Buzzfeed]

11 Unironic Spokespeople [HolyTaco]

Olivia Munn will do “anything” to a dude who has a hoverboard. Anything. Pfft. Who wouldn’t? [Clutch]

Picture via Reddit (and the answer is YES)

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week.

If you’ll remember, a couple of months ago, Hurt Locker producer Nicolas Chartier sent an email urging Academy members to vote for his movie and not Avatar, and even though that wasn’t really a big deal, it ended up getting him disinvited from the Oscars.  Well that guy is in the news again, and this time people are boo-hooing about another “impolite” email exchange, this time with a guy who took issue with Chartier’s company’s policy of suing BitTorrent users.  Here’s the email to Chartier (via BoingBoing):

—–Original Message—–
From: [redacted]@[redacted].com
Sent: Friday, May 14, 2010 6:21 PM
To: Nicolas Chartier
Subject: Hurt Locker lawsuit

Dear Mr. Chartier,

I have recently become aware of Voltage Pictures’ intention to sue thousands of people who are suspected of having used BitTorrent to download films produced by your company.

I wish to register my disagreement with these tactics, and would like you to know that as a result of these actions I am boycotting your films. The majority of the people you are suing were not seeking to make money from their downloads, and will be financially devastated by a lawsuit or settlement. While it is completely understandable that Voltage Pictures wishes to defend its intellectual property, this is an inhumane way of doing so.

Until Voltage Pictures publicly states that it will not pursue lawsuits for downloading its films, I will not view, rent or buy any films produced wholly or in part by your company. I will urge my friends and family to take the same actions. I do not wish for the money I spend on entertainment to be used against otherwise good people.

Thank you for your time.

Nicholas

This was Chartier’s response:

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Sigourney Weaver's avatar is 12-feet-tall

Don’t get me wrong, whenever I watch Life, I miss Sigourney Weaver’s Planet Earth voice over tremendously.  Oprah is a poor substitute.  Her pandering fauxlksyness (remember I invented that word) somehow comes through even when she’s reading sober lines about cuttlefish sex.   Nonetheless, when it comes to discussing the Oscars, Sigourney Weaver should probably just shut her whore mouth.

While promoting ‘Avatar’ in Brazil over the weekend, Sigourney Weaver slammed the Academy for voting for ‘The Hurt Locker’ and Kathryn Bigelow. She said Jim Cameron lost to his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, because she’s a woman.

“Jim didn’t have breasts, and I think that was the reason,” she told told Folha Online, a Brazilian news site. “He should have taken home that Oscar.”

“In the past, ‘Avatar’ would have won because they [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like ‘Ben-Hur.’ Today it’s fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw,” Weaver said. [HuffPo]

He doesn’t have breasts? That must’ve been why he tried to compensate by growing lady hair. Look, Sigourney, I’m going to be nice because I get the feeling you didn’t see the Hurt Locker, so you probably don’t know how much better it is, and because you seem like you could kick my ass.  Yes, it used to be fashionable to hand out Best Picture awards to lavish productions, even if they weren’t that good from a storytelling standpoint.  But because it used to be in fashion and now it’s not, does that make it a better way of doing things?  I say no.  Think about it — this used to be a fashion too:

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/Obligatory

Our first annual FilmDrunk Oscars Drinking Contest and Live Tweef is over, and I’d say it was a relative success, seeing as how I got plowed by myself, began angrily engaging other film bloggers via Twitter, consumed two frozen pot pies, and when I took a dump this morning, it smelled like a hobo had somehow snuck in and pooped in my toilet and convinced me to raise it as my own like one of those birds.  This is all your fault, George Clooney.

Anyway, you can see the full list of winners after the jump.  None of the major categories were much of a surprise, and my unsurprising predictions were pretty much all on target except for The Hurt Locker beating Inglorious Basterds for original screenplay.  As much as I like The Hurt Locker, I thought it was more of a triumph of directing than screenplay, considering it was pretty straightforward.  But then, what the hell do I know, I’m just a guy who gets drunk by himself and takes really smelly poops.

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A soldier from the squad in which Hurt Locker screenwriter Mark Boal was embedded announced today that he’s suing the filmmakers, because he says the main character is based on him.

Master Sergeant Jeffrey S. Sarver believes screenwriter Mark Boal based “virtually all of the situations” in the film on events involving him and claims he coined the phrase “the hurt locker,” according to a statement from lawyer.  Boal was a journalist in Iraq embedded with a squad that dismantled bombs, and he wrote a story about them for Playboy magazine. He developed his story into a screenplay about the soldiers and focused on one in particular, Will James. From that screenplay came the movie. Sarver claims Boal was embedded with Sarver’s unit and that he is James. Sarver says James’ nickname in the movie, “Blaster One,” was Sarver’s “call signal” while in Iraq. [ABC]

The suit is interesting as it seems specifically timed to coincide with the Oscars.  And also because you don’t need someone’s permission to write a movie about his life (at least, you can easily cloak it in a thin sheen of fiction, a la Citizen Kane, Last Days, etc.), and Hurt Locker never claimed to be anything other than fiction ^(footnote).  Meanwhile, remember the producer who wrote that letter I said wasn’t a big deal?  The Academy announced that he can’t come to the ceremony as punishment.  And I’m not the only one who smells an ulterior motive in everyone making a big deal out of this:
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