According to weekend estimates, The Hottie and the Nottie grossed an astounding $25,000 on 111 screens, giving it a per-screen average of $225 and placing it 46th at the box office, just behind Taxi to the Dark Side and Teeth.  In a recent interview, Hadeel Reda, one of the producers on the project said:

We found my top choice for the role which was Paris Hilton. Who else could play the hottie but Paris Hilton?

Who indeed.  I’ve been to LA, and they’ve got a real shortage of dumb blonde whores who can’t act.  I mean, it’s not like you could just go to any Starbuck’s and find someone hotter and less of an idiot behind the counter.  You might come close, but they just wouldn’t have that special something.  And by special something I mean herpes.  And a lazy eye.

Okay, okay, I shouldn’t savor this too much, but it feels good after having to report a number one weekend for Meet the Spartans.  I think it was Jesus who said, "Hot damn, is there anything sweeter than watching stupid people fail?"

Just in case you needed proof that life sucks and the world’s not fair, Heath Ledger is dead while Paris Hilton is alive and promoting a movie at the Sundance Film Festival.  They’re not actually screening it, of course, but she’s there because she doesn’t have a job.

Here she gives costar Christine Lakin props for her ability to wear ugly girl make up, which Paris says she could never do.  …Riiiight.  You know, if there are two things Paris Hilton is capable of in this world, they’re wearing make up and looking ugly.  She probably misunderstood the question though.

Can you imagine having to write interview questions for Paris Hilton?  I think I would just hand her a .45 and convince her it’s a really fun new toy that squirts semen in your mouth when you pull the trigger.  Please, Paris, will you promote our toy?  It’s really expensive and it’s made out of poor people (that’s why it’s shiny). We think it’ll be really big if people see you using it. 

Thank God there aren’t millions of hot chicks from all over the world trying to break into the movie business, because otherwise putting an overexposed talentless braindead whore in your movie would seem pretty stupid, right?

The Paris Hilton vehicle "The Hottie and the Nottie" will hit theaters just in time for Valentine’s Day.  The heiress and former inmate plays Cristabel Abbott, who’s been eyed since the first grade by an obsessed Nate Cooper (Joel David Moore). To win her affections, Nate is forced to find a boyfriend for her less-than-beautiful friend June Phigg (Christine Lakin). [Yahoo]

So wait, Paris Hilton plays the hottie?  Man, this "Nottie" has to be pretty busted.  *Google Image Search for Christine Lakin*  Wow.  This movie premiere is why Allah invented suicide bombers. Christine Lakin’s last project?  Georgia Rule, with Freckletits Lohan.  Chick can’t catch a break, huh?  

Meanwhile, Hottie/Nottie director Tom Putnam, was named as "One of the 25 New Faces of Independent Film" by Filmmaker Magazine in 2003.  He’s currently set to be the coverboy for the February 2008 issue of Career Suicide Digest.