Opening this weekend:

Drillbit Taylor
Written by Seth Rogen, based on an earlier script by John Hughes (written under the pseudonym Edmond Dantes), this looks… really lame.  Makes me wonder if Owen Wilson faked his suicide attempt to get out of promoting it.  Sounds extreme, I know, but If you’re Pete Wentz that just means washing a chewable aspirin down with a wine cooler – look out, ladies, he’s dangerous! One time his mom took away his Super Nintendo and now he’s got wounds that’ll never heal!  Anyway, I’m pretty sure this a ripoff of a film in which I starred a few years back, Jailbait Sailor.  I’m not proud of it, mainly just…sore.

Shutter
*Shudder* 

Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns
One of these days I’m going to watch a Tyler Perry movie to see what all the fuss is about.  As soon as he makes one that looks halfway interesting…

The Hammer
Adam Carolla does Rocky.  I might rent this someday, but I like Adam Carolla far more than most (might be a Californian thing).  Most reviews were split on the fact that he doesn’t seem to be trying very hard.

Under the Same Moon
This looks painfully heartwarming. Never trust a movie with a crappy title.

Planet B-Boy
“Planet B-Boy is set in the international world of b-boying – the urban dance more commonly known as ‘breakdancing’.”  This one’s a documentary, so hopefully no one has to save the rec center.  And to be honest, watching a guy slide 10 feet across the floor on his head is actually kind of intriguing.

UPDATE: Not sure what’s up with the video, but if it’s not working you can also watch it over on Apple. 

CinemaBlend has this trailer for Adam Carolla’s indie flick, The Hammer, opening March 21st in his radio markets and in NYC.

Anyone who’s heard his radio show knows the joy of “Deaf Frat Guy,” “Ass Kiss Rodeo,” “Complain About Anything,” and my favorite, “Ace’s Ranchero Music Accordion Challenge.”  Still, I’m a little torn because, as funny as he is, he’s probably the only person in the world who’s a worse actor than Norm MacDonald. The Hammer appears to be your basic over-the-hill loser makes good story, but if it’s got enough Carollaisms (and Ozzie the Nicaraguan) in it, it might worthwhile.

He’s just a likable guy.  He has an indefinable endearing quality I like to call Carolla-isma.  …May God have mercy on my soul.