"After a while your agent stops calling and the next thing you know, you're doing movies with... well, you."
Opening Like The Gates Of Hell: One for the Money, The Grey, Man on a Ledge
FilmDrunk Suggests: I’m digging the previews for Man on a Ledge. Maybe it just looks better than it is because One for the Money previews air every six seconds, thanks to some half-tard exec who thinks that people still love Katherine Heigl.
We know this is the first This Week in Posters we’ve done for the New Year, but this ship will be back on course and up to steam in no time. I’ve been trying to get this thing locked and loaded every Tuesday afternoon, so once I start self-medicating, look for it with a little more consistency. GRRR, LASER FOCUS.
First up, this new poster for The Grey. It was wise of them to play up the most commercial aspect of the film, i.e. LIAM NEESON BOXING WOLVES WITH BROKEN BOTTLES ON HIS HANDS! Hell, I’d watch a whole series of these – Liam Neeson boxes wolves with broken bottles, Liam Neeson hits hyenas with a tire iron, Liam Neeson with bug zapper in a room full of lizards, Liam Neeson headbutts deer in a pith helmet – I could go on forever, and never run out of great ideas. And looking at the way he’s holding his knife reminds me of the fight between Steven Seagal and Tommy Lee Jones at the end of Under Siege. How much more awesome would it have been if Liam Neeson had been there with broken bottles taped to his hand, hucking wolves at everyone? Get on that.
"COME AT ME, YA MANGY FOOKERS!"
Was that last post about movie marketing, critics, and the New Yorker a little too intellectual for you? Well I’ve got just the palate cleanser — a new trailer for The Grey, a movie opening in January that’s about Liam Neeson fighting wolves. I would’ve loved to hear the pitch for this movie.
“Okay, so Liam Neeson plays this badass, right? And one day his plane goes down in the arctic.”
“And then what?”
“Well, that’s when the wolves come.”
“Wolves! Sweet! I’m loving this. Then what happens?”
“Uh, well, Liam Neeson fights them.”
“Say no more. I’m already writing you a check, Broheim.”
My only hope is that this has a scene where Liam Neeson gives a motivational speech in front of the other plane crash survivors. “If it’s food you’re after, I can tell you that I have none, and I certainly don’t have a GPS device. What I do have is a particular set of skills, skills that I’ve acquired over a lifetime of fighting wolves. Hopefully these skills will be enough to keep any of us from getting… Taken.” And then he’d wink and do a little gun fingers thing at the camera.
Yahoo just dropped the new trailer for The Grey, from Smokin’ Aces director Joe Carnahan and Liam Neeson. The plot, and I stress, I am not making any of this up, is that Liam Neeson survives a plane crash, and wakes up in a frozen wasteland where he must use all of his skills in a fight for survival… AGAINST WOLVES!
“Hello, police? I think I’ve been incepted.”
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