^{Watch the trailer here}

Not to be confused with The Descent, the schlocklicious 2005 spelunking movie, Descent is an indie starring Rosario Dawson, who…

…plays the most controversial character of her career: a promising college student who becomes bent on seeking revenge after a shocking act of violence is committed on her. The feature debut of co-writer/ director/producer Talia Lugacy, Descent is a film that unnervingly tackles some of the country’s most taboo subjects.

The trailer doesn't really hint at what this shocking act of violence is, but it does make me question my own sexuality. Rosario Dawson is the only chick I look at and go, "Man, she's hot," and then two seconds later think, "She kinda looks like a drag queen." I worry that I may have contracted a bit of the gay from the Hairspray poster that was outside my window for a few weeks. Bottom line, my penis is confused.

On another note, does this remind anyone else of Secretary? I smell another movie too enamored with its own edginess and "taboo breaking" to realize that it's boring. C'mon, people, I just watched a priest take a dump in a nun's mouth on the internet, you really think a little S&M's gonna expand my horizons?

Disclaimer:  All Lost Boys-related news will be accompanied by a sweaty sax guy clip. 

According to MTV, Corey Haim will probably not be appearing in Lost Boys 2, despite booking the gig following this super fake clip in which he cries about not getting the gig (originally). 

The return of Haim in the sequel is looking iffy at best, MTV News has learned exclusively. Haim’s manager called us after our interview to tell us about problems that arose over the weekend. According to her, “There are major logistical obstacles that exist,” referring to immigration problems Haim may have in traveling in and out of the country [it's being shot in Vancouver]. 

Perhaps they just realized that he couldn't even believably play himself on his own reality show, and thus probably couldn't play a believable part in a movie.  Then again, any time MTV "learns something exclusively", take it with a grain of salt.  This is the same network that broadcasts The Hills, and a sequel to The Hills called Newport Harbor, even though the town's called Newport Beach. 

MTV is so gay that they could air a show that was just a sailor getting his salad tossed for a half hour and people would be around the water cooler the next day going, "Hey, is it just me, or is MTV getting less gay?"   

The full version of the Hitman trailer is now online.  It's about a bad dude who kills other bad dudes so that stuff will be more good.  Me, I mostly kill gay dudes who trick me into being gay with them by being hella sexy, but, you know, whatever works.