"Oh, I ever so wish I had more candles."

Keira Knightley is starring in another period piece, The Duchess.  I still can’t embed clips with my account, so you can watch a new clip from The Duchess here.  Try to stay awake.  If it helps, picture the fact that the corsets Knightley had to wear caused her to fart constantly.

Spread bat guano all over your face then sit in direct sunlight for an hour. Rinse it off with moose urine.   Repeat six times. This will not help you embed a video clip.

I probably shouldn’t have insulted Babylon 5 and Penny Arcade in front of the tech guys.  So I may have embedding privileges [heh heh "bedding privileges"] later today.  Or not.  Deal.

– RoboPanda

UPDATE: Now with video

Keira Knightley recently made headlines for refusing to have her publicity photos for The Duchess digitally altered to give her more cleavage.

[Says one retard]: It is a big boost for real women everywhere, and it just shows how ubiquitous digital enhancement is in the entertainment industry that it’s noteworthy when one star has the audacity to refuse it.

[Says another]: Keira Knightley is essentially giving young women in their communities the permission to stand up and say this is the way I look and it’s okay.  I think it’s just incredibly brave. [Yahoo]

Yes, Saint Knightley, what a hero, what a role model.  It’s sick how misogynistic studio people would dare enhance her natural beauty using studio tricks.  That’s what puking after you eat is for.  Heroically puking.

There’s another trailer out for The Duchess, and this one really pushes the Princess Diana connection – which is odd, since to my knowledge Diana wasn’t known for making the same goddamned face in every picture.  I’m all for buying Keira Knightley a tea set and letting her play dress up if she wants, but filming it just seems wasteful.

[via Empire] 

I’m all for a period piece if it involves pirates, dueling, cannons, vikings, nazis, mongols, rape humor, or human sacrifice.  So… what’s The Duchess about?

The film is based on Amanda Foreman’s best-selling novel ‘Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire’, chronicles the life of 18th century aristocrat Georgiana, an ancestor of Princess Diana who was also celebrated and reviled for her extravagant political and personal lives. The movie also stars Ralph Fiennes as the Duke of Devonshire. [/film]

"Duchess of Devonshire’" was my high school football nickname and that still sounds more boring than watching chamomile steep.  Seriously, if you know someone who finds this exciting, you should secretly get her addicted to heroin. You’d be doing her a favor, really.