Silent dog farts are THE WORST.

If you’ve read the headline, you know this week sees the DVD releases of both Hotel Transylvania as well as the latest Paranormal Activity flick, Paranormal Activity 4.  If you recognize the banner image, you also know that Seven Psychopaths hits DVD today as well.  Good for you.  Of course, there’s plenty of other flicks to talk about: there’s films with Bruce Willis and Tim Roth, and films about superheroes both well-known and unknown.  We’ve got films about ghosts and hitmen and terrorists and vampires, and even one about a little girl with the power to heal through touch.  All that and still more ghosts and vampires.  What an exciting week for DVD.

The DVDs:
Seven Psychopaths
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2
Hotel Transylvania
Paranormal Activity 4
The Cold Light Of Day
The Awakening
The Liability
All Superheroes Must Die
Hello I Must Be Going
Noobz
Heaven’s Door
Cherry Tree Lane
Citadel
The Rule Of Law
The Right To Bear Arms
Brides Of Sodom

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Really like Bruce Willis, but don’t know which flick he’s in?  Continue reading to find out.  Can’t figure out which movies involve superheroes?  You know the drill: continue reading and you’ll get your answers. If you really aren’t all that curious about any of these flicks, feel free to click the link above and jump straight to this week’s Netflix suggestions, but really, how could you not be curious about Brides Of Sodom? Read the rest of this entry »

I haven't seen Thor or Captain America yet either. I'm super qualified to be writing this weekly guide.

That’s right folks, I’m one of the few sad assh*les who haven’t seen The Avengers yet.  Why?  Because I haven’t seen Thor or Captain America, and I hear they kind of play into things, plot-wise. So why haven’t I seen those?  Because my wife wants to see them too, but she never wants to see them, if you know what I mean.  On the plus side, we just watched What To Expect When You’re Expecting, so at least I can stop worrying about that film getting ruined for me.  Enough about me though, on to this week’s DVDs.  The big news is obviously the release of The Avengers, but I feel it’s worth noting that there’s also a big, 50th Anniversary edition box set of all 22 canonical James Bond films (sorry Never Say Never Again).  The blu-ray edition is currently the only way to get nine of the flicks on blu-ray, screwing over the people who own the other 13 007 flicks on blu and don’t want to buy them all over again, which is to say nothing of Skyfall, which will surely be included in an all-new box set in a few years when the 24th Bond film is released, but I digress. As for other, actually new DVDs, this week we’ve got Batman in addition to the Avengers, there’s a few damsels in distress, a couple of Klowns, James Franco, Samuel L. Jackson -in another movie besides The Avengers, Jessica Biel, John Malkovich, both Hilary and Haylie Duff, and John Goodman.  We’ve got a badass president, and not one but two Dove Foundation approved flicks with talking dogs -oh, and one of them is Vampire Dog!

The DVDs:
The Avengers
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
Damsels In Distress
Klown (Also available for streaming)
Vampire Dog
The Letter
The Samaritan
The Tall Man
Soldiers Of Fortune
Drunkboat
She Wants Me
388 Arletta Avenue
Deer Crossing
The Holy Roller
Golden Winter
FDR: American Badass

Admit it, you’re kind of curious about Drunkboat. Well, you know the drill.  Continue reading on the next page. Of course, you can always skip right to the Netflix page by clicking here, but if you do you’ll never find out which American Pie star is headlining the non-vampire talking dog flick. Read the rest of this entry »

My DC comic book knowledge is pretty limited, so please forgive my ignorance, but apparently the new animated Batman films, The Dark Knight Returns Pt. 1 and 2, are putting a new twist on the old storyline of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/Tim Drake. That twist? Robin’s got some boobs now.

Returns is based on Frank Miller’s four-part series from 1986, which features the newest Robin as a 13-year old girl who helps a 55-year old Batman save Gotham from all the same-old-same-olds and you-know-who’s.

One of the most influential comics of all time, the Dark Knight Returns is set in a near future where Batman is retired and Gotham City has slid into a dystopian state ruled by a gang of hooligans called The Mutants. The 55-year old Bruce Wayne is forced to don the cape once more, this time partnering with a female Robin to not only stop the Joker but keep the peace when the city falls into chaos after being hit by an electromagnetic pulse. (Via the Hollywood Reporter, which also revealed some exclusive images)

As for the animated actors and roles, Batman is voiced by Peter “RoboCop” Weller and his new tween sidekick will be voiced by Modern Family’s Ariel Winter.

Read the rest of this entry »