I was trying to avoid this story, but it’s all over the internet.  I think my mom even emailed it to me along with that Susan Boyle clip and the hugging lion.  Anyway, the story is, Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro are remaking Taxi Driver.  Or at least, Danish director Lars von Trier wants them to.

The idea is similar to the film “The Five Obstructions” that Von Trier and Danish helmer Jorgen Leth made in 2003. In that film, Von Trier challenged his colleague Leth to do a remake of his own 1967 film “The Perfect Human.” Von Trier gave Leth the task of remaking five times, each time with a different obstacle, such as making the film animated, or setting it in Cuba. In the new project, Von Trier will challenge Scorsese and De Niro to remake their 1976 classic “Taxi Driver.”

The story took on a life of its own after a Danish newspaper published an interview in which Peter Aalbaeck Jensen, von Trier’s business partner and executive producer, said he could neither confirm nor deny the rumors. ”There will be a statement coming shortly,” he said — although another Danish source confirmed the collaboration.

Over the weekend, when Scorsese was doing press in Berlin, he did not mention the Von Trier project, as discussion focused on features in pre-production, such as a 3D adaptation of Brian Selznick’s novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret.” [Variety]

So basically, the only one talking about this so far is Lars von Trier.  It’s all part of our ongoing segment, “Shut up, Lars von Trier.”   Oh the Danish.  ”Jä, jä, øønt zeess time, perhapz Travis Bickle isht Gayn-gger from Outer Schpace.”

UPDATE:  Ooh, big shocker here, looks like none of this is happening.

You learn new things every day.  Today for instance, I learned that this was a real movie.  Gayn****rs from Outer Space, that’s the actual title. It came out in 1992 in Denmark, and though I missed it the first time around, I imagine it’s just about due for a big-budget remake. Hello, Dreamworks?

Gayn—-rs from Outer Space tells the story of a group of intergalactic homosexual black men from the planet “Anus” who discover the presence of female creatures on planet Earth. Using guns which shoot deadly rays, they proceed to eliminate females one by one from Earth, which ensures them the ecstatic gratitude of the previously oppressed male population.  Before leaving the planet, they leave behind a “Gay Ambassador” to educate the Earthlings about their new way of life. Gay—–rs from Outer Space begins as a black-and-white film, but later turns to color. According to Lindberg, this was a “dramatic special effect” to illustrate “the world being freed from vicious women.”

The Danish, dude.  They make Germans look like Canadians.

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The concept of Broderskab (Brotherhood) is pretty straightforward: gay nazis. It may seem like a far fetched premise but it’s really not — after all, Hugo Boss designed the uniforms. The trailer is all in Danish, but the language of gay nazis is universal.

A a story about love and identity. Lars, 22, is drawn to the neo-Nazi scene, and to Jimmy. A love affair grows between them. Though gay love is not something to go unpunished in their circles, their love and erotic attraction are so strong that they continue their affair, even in the face of their fellow neo-Nazis’ condemnation.  [QuietEarth]

I’d just like to once again bring up my idea for the improv sitcom about neo-Nazis, Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm. I think it’d be a great show, as long as no gay nazis are in the room.

(I might just be saying this because he’s partying, but that costume is effing amazing.)

Transformers and G.I. Joe scored big at the box office, so why not adapt so more kids toys?  Like, say, Legos? Don’t answer that.  Believe it or not, in Hollywood, that’s considered a rhetorical question.

WB is toying with plans [haha TOYING, get it? *cocks pistol*] to develop a movie around Lego and its popular building blocks.  Scribes Dan and Kevin Hageman are penning the script for the family comedy that will mix live action and animation. Warners is keeping the plot tightly under wraps, but it’s described as an action adventure set in a Lego world.

Directors and producers in town have attempted to make a Lego movie for years, approaching the Danish toymaker with various ideas, but Lego turned down most of them because it’s highly protective of its brand.  But the company sparked to producer Dan Lin and the Hageman brothers’ embrace of core values Lego wanted to include in a film, especially “a fun factor, creativity and that imagination has no boundaries,” Lin told Daily Variety.  [Variety]

See, hundreds of people had wanted to make a Lego movie before, but when the Lego execs asked how they’d do it, the answer was always, “We were thinking of something totally without fun, creativity, or imagination, like building a puppy casket according to spec.”  After a few rounds of that, we just assumed it’d never happen.  But this Dan Lin guy, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and when he finally broke into the office he said, “Guys, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but we should make a movie that kids will like.”   We hired him on the spot, and then we all went out for Jamba Juice.

After the jump I’ve got the trailer for Flame & Citron, a Danish Nazi movie opening July 31st in the US.  The title refers to two fighters in the Danish Resistance, nicknamed Flame and Citron.  They’re trying to assassinate a Gestapo chief who’s after them when a woman comes between them, much like Tango and Cash.  It’s also got moral ambiguity and a who’s-infiltrating-whom plot, a lá The Departed.  So basically it’s a Danish Tango and Cash meets The Departed with Nazis.  Sounds pretty awesome, perhaps even better than my idea for a Swedish Turner and Hooch with lesbians.  (Spoiler alert, the dog gets the girl).
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