(”I’ve been working on my tough-guy look in the mirror at Hot Topic”)
Dimension has hired Rob Zombie to direct a remake of The Blob, and why not? A monkey with d’cks for hands could direct a horror remake. (Plus, it’d probably be good in bed - Rawr.)
Zombie’s deal to make “The Blob” his next film comes as Dimension opens “Halloween II,” the Zombie-directed sequel to his 2007 hit “Halloween.”
In the original “Blob,” an object from space crashes into a field, containing a red blob-like substance that absorbs the humans it contacts and grows exponentially. While Zombie was a fan of the original, he’s formulated a decidedly different take that he would not reveal.
“My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change,” Zombie said. “That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.” [See also: your clothes. -Ed]
“I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from outer space,” Zombie said. “I intend to make it scary, and the great thing is I have the freedom once again to take it in any crazy direction I want to.” [Variety]
Horror films are cheap to make, always earn money for some reason, and are the easiest thing in the world to write, so I understand why these things get greenlit. The only thing that keeps me going is hearing the people who don’t really believe in the product having to put a positive spin on it in interviews, and then end up saying ridiculous sh’t like “I wanted to stop making horror films so I decided to direct The Blob.” Ha, good one, Rob, I wanted to write that down but I was too busy pantomiming this blow job.
IESB is reporting that the role of Silverfox in the upcoming Wolverine movie (initially rumored to be played by Maggie Q) has gone to Lynn Collins. They also report that William Stryker (played by Brian Cox in X-2) will be Danny Huston.
They go on to mention an appearance by The Blob, whom a FilmDrunk tipster claims will be played by Kevin Durand. The tipster says the Blob’s part will be small - on par with The Juggernaut in Brett Ratner’s rape of X-3, and that the script includes some other minor mutants such as Beak.
Still no word on whether we’ll see Glass Man (he’s abnormally fragile!), Mr. Sensitive (be careful what you say!), or Chuck, the guy who can shapeshift into a hoagie sandwich (but not back again!). Typical Hollywood move, focusing only on the glamorous aspects of mutantry.
