Found this on a Google Image Search for "floppy boobs"

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter released their list of cinema’s biggest bombs of 2011 so far (based on production budget {not including marketing} minus worldwide gross). Considering one of them was the Jodie Foster-directed Beaver, it’s a miracle I managed to make it through this entire headline without using the phrase “Jodie Foster’s Beaver flop.” Sites kill to own that kind of big-money search term. But that’s why I wear this diamond-encrusted necklace that says “RESTRAINT.”

1. MARS NEEDS MOMS
Robert Zemeckis’ motion-capture pic was one of the most expensive bombs in Hollywood history, costing at least $150 million to produce and grossing $21.4 million at the domestic box office. Overseas, it didn’t do much better, grossing $17.6 million for a total $39 million.

2. YOUR HIGHNESS
The raunchy comedy, set in medieval times, didn’t go over well with audiences, even if it starred newly anointed Oscar winner Natalie Portman (along with James Franco and Danny McBride). Costing $50 million to produce, the film earned $21.6 million domestically and a paltry $3 million overseas. [Editor's Note: I liked it, and I'm not ashamed to say it.  It was a throwback to dumb comedy before dumb comedy became Kevin James mugging and falling down. But as they say, this is why we can't have nice things.]

3. ARTHUR
The remake of the classic Dudley Moore comedy failed to rustle up many laughs, topping out at $33 million domestically. Starring Russell Brand, Helen Mirren and Jennifer Garner, “Arthur” did even less overseas, earning $12.7 million for a global total of $45.7 million. The production budget was reportedly $40 million.

4. PROM
“Prom,” earning a mere $10.1 million at the domestic box office, was the first movie greenlit by newly installed Disney chairman Rich Ross to hit theaters. It’s the lowest grossing studio film of the year so far, but luckily for Ross, “Prom” cost only $8 million to produce.

Rich Ross is the same guy who killed The Proposal 2, Wild Hogs 2, and a Robin Williams vehicle called “Wedding Banned,” and for that he earns my undying respect.

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Jodie Foster directed a movie coming out called The Beaver, starring Mel Gibson, and any one of those things would supply a near-endless supply of easy jokes to anyone halfway juvenile minded.  All three together are like the Voltron of easy double-entendre fodder.  It would be like if George Lopez woke up one day and discovered that in addition to being Hispanic, he was also a fat, black, gay, Jewish, ventriloquist with a trunk full of props and a novelty sledge hammer.

Anyway, here’s the international poster for The Beaver, which, in Argentina, is called “Walter’s Double Life” (La Panocha o GTFO!).  Can you spot the easiest joke of them all?  It’s like trying to find a needle in a stack full of needles.  Here, I’ll give you a hint:

Mel Gibson's reverse strap-on

Jodie Foster in bed, completely ignoring a dude and focused intensely on a beaver.  Come on, guys, now you’re not even trying.

[via IMPA]

Since we’re in a punny mood, here’s “Tron Jeremy.” Here’s a double pun: Tron Jeremy stars in… Little Fockers. Anyway, you’ll never believe this, but they make reference to his large penis. |ScreenJunkies|

Tron Legacy opens today. Here’s my review. I cleaned it up a lot since I wrote it on no sleep yesterday, and I’ve added more Tron dog. Still wish I’d seen True Grit instead.

Also opening: The Fighter, How Do You Know, Yogi Bear, Casino Jack, and Rabbit Hole.  How Do you Know cost $120 million, so it must be good, right? Right???

“Winona Ryder’s comments make things hairier for Mel Gibson’s Beaver.“  Hee hee! That’s the actual headline.  Damn you, why couldn’t you have said “Jodie Foster’s ‘Beaver’?”  We know what you were going for, there’s no need to beat around the beaver. I mean muff. I mean bush. I mean vagina. |LATimes|

Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman looking to reteam for the first time since Adaptation.  Jonze is coming off Where the Wild Things Are, Kaufman off his directing debut, Synechdoche, New York.  All I know is, if these guys can make a good movie with TWO NIC CAGES in the lead role, I’ll line up for whatever they do. |LATimes|

Clooney replacing Downey in Cuaron’s planned sci-fi epic, Gravity. Can we just make this movie already?  It sounds cool, but I’m sick of hearing about it already.  Pretty sure Yogi Bear went from script to finished product in like three weeks.  On second thought, take your time. |Deadline|

A Very Muppet Proposal. (After the jump), a guy proposes using muppets.

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As soon as that Beaver trailer hit the web, you knew it would be fertile ground for parody.  Still, you have to hand it to ItchyBarracuda here for realizing how much better the puppet would be with Samuel L. Jackson’s voice. Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction plus Mel Gibson — hell, if you added a dog wearing clothes to this, it might break the internet.  And again, I can’t help but notice that the funniest part is someone yelling at Anton Yelchin.  I think for the next mash up, we should just cut together 100 clips of Anton Yelchin getting belittled and screamed at.  It would be so cathartic.  WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!

[via Buzzfeed]

The trailer for The Beaver hit the web late Friday (directed by Jodie Foster from Kyle Killen’s Black List script, starring Mel Gibson as an alcoholic father who turns his life around with the help of a talking beaver puppet).  As Mel Gibson’s first post pack-of-N-words-gate performance, someone making a mash-up of it was as inevitable as me making a childish joke about Jodie Foster probably knowing a little something about stuffing a fist inside a beaver (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  So here’s the recut trailer for The Beaver, with the beaver of course demanding to be blown in a jacuzzi and such.  It probably could’ve been a little better, but it’s passable.  I think the best part was Mel’s beaver yelling at Anton Yelchin to stop being such a little bitch.  Probably anyone who saw Charlie Bartlett can relate to that.  Heck, sometimes I’ll even wake up in the middle of the night, screaming for Anton Yelchin to stop being a bitch.  Scares the hell out of my cats.

"Dance for that money, Sugartits! Quick, before the Jews get it!"

[via FunnyOrDie]