Hey Burnsy, do you like zombie movies? Why yes, yes I do. And do you like the Beatles? Sure, I’m quite fond of them. So how would you feel about a movie about the Beatles as zombies? Well, I’ll offer you a long, overdramatically drawn out fart noise, thankyouverymuch.

Paul is Undead is the latest pop-culture-meets-zombie-genre movie to get the green light, as the Alan Goldsher novel is being produced to bring zombie versions of John, Paul, Ringo and the other guy to the big screen. The story centers on zombie John Lennon reanimating George Harrison and Ringo Starr as the living dead, as well as turning Paul McCartney, presuming he’s still alive at press time. The zombie quartet goes on a world tour, playing their music and eating brains, until they run into some old friends.

Give yourself a swirly, Pajiba:

It’s based on a novel by Alan Goldsher called Paul Is Undead and it will chronicle the story of an undead John Lennon as he leaves Liverpool, kills and reanimates a band, and then takes them on tour of terror across Europe and the States. This might sound like a joke but the production team behind it has some credentials after working on Erin Brockovich and Pulp Fiction.

The film will supposedly also feature cameos by Mick Jagger as England’s greatest zombie slayer, Jesus Christ who admits they were bigger than him, and Yoko Ono as an Eighth Level Ninja Lord.

Produced by Doubles Features (your guess is as good as mine), the film will offer a unique take on the Beatles’ classic catalog and for some reason pay Yoko Ono money to act. You know, Vinnie likes to hate on the zombie genre a lot, and I usually flip him the bird when he’s not looking, because I dig most zombie movies since I want to stay prepared for the eventual human genocide plague. But Mick Jagger and Yoko Ono? Were David Coverdale and Tawny Kitaen unavailable?

I have a better idea – We’ll cast Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha and the guy from Maroon 5 as zombies and I get to hunt them. I won’t spoil anything, but they all get hit by a bus in the end.

This is the first trailer for Nowhere Boy, based on the memoir by John Lennon’s half sister, Julia Baird.  I’m sure everyone’s sick of slick music biopics by now, but Lennon seems like an obvious subject, even if Ray Charles, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, et. al. flicks got made first.  It’s got a few other factors going for it as well that give me hope it won’t be the usual hokey tear/penis jerker.

• It narrows its focus on John’s early schoolboy days when he met Paul, rather than all the later stuff that’s already been written about ad nauseum
• No big-name actors trying to win an Oscar
• No Beatles songs in the trailer, so at least you know it’s not a cheap ploy to sell more Beatles records
• Made by British people, and British people are smarter. Sorry, it’s true.  That’s why God made them uglier to even things out.

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Okay, now I’ve never heard of these dudes before, but I guess there is this band called The Beatles and apparently they’ve had a couple of hits over years…I guess. It’s hard to tell if they’re popular or not, because I recently bought Now That’s What I Call Music 30 and none of their songs were on it. Pussycat Dolls were on there for sure, but not these dudes called The Beatles.

Anyway, news today is that Robert Zemeckis and Disney are in talks to remake Yellow Submarine into a 3-D bigscreen feature. Don’t choke on the bong water, Spicoli, you read that correctly: a 3-D version of Yellow Submarine; an experience that sounds both amazingly awesome and yet horribly terrifying, all at the same time.

Disney and Robert Zemeckis are looking to catch the wave of Beatlemania, floating a new 3-D “Yellow Submarine” for the bigscreen, with merchandising in tow and prospects for spinning off both a Broadway musical and a Cirque du Soleil stage production. [Variety]

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