In a move that will come as a surprise to only the most dullardly of beef-headed lumpskulls, Disney CEO Bob Iger today announced plans to develop a sequel to The Avengers. I could’ve sworn they’d already discussed plans for Avengers 2, but it could’ve just been the multiple, blatant sequel-setting, post-credits scenes, or the fact that Marvel had been teasing an Avengers movie since Iron Man 1, or maybe just ’cause I drink.

An Avengers sequel? Are you kidding? The first one made $207 million this weekend, we’ll be lucky to get less than seven of them. X-Men made $54 million in its opening weekend, and they’ve already made five of those. They’ll be making Avengers sequels for the next decade, even if they have to get Brett Ratner’s cousin to direct one.

Still, I enjoyed The Avengers quite a bit, so I’m cautiously optimistic for part two. And I’ve got my fingers crossed for a Thorgi cameo. It’s never too early to start the letter-writing campaign.

Avengers: Assembly!

I found this picture of The Avengers in high school over on Reddit, and while I know I said Hawkeye and Black Widow were mostly worthless characters (Whedon did an incredible job trying to make them seem relevant, but trying to make a girl with a pistol and a dude with a bow and arrow on the front lines of a war seem believable is just a lose-lose assignment), I would’ve changed my tune in a heartbeat if Hawkeye had had that righteous flattop-mullet combo. My God, he’s a spitting image of the First Place Mullet Kid!

The mullet seems slightly less righteous without the trophy and tie-dyed shirt, but still, I like to imagine them both cruising for townie chicks in a tricked out Astrovan. Meanwhile, Mr. Chris I-Never-Had-An-Awkward-Phase Hemsworth can go screw himself. Just imagining how much ass that guy has probably gotten over the course of his lifetime makes me want to drink whiskey in a basement.

You might not think The Avengers earning more than $200 million this weekend warrants a picture of a corgi dressed like Thor occupying an entire post, but come on, have you read FilmDrunk before? You know I’m posting this. I hear Thorgi’s brother Lorki can be a real dick, but I’d pet the hell out of him anyway. SPOILER ALERT: Lorki is actually half Chow.

Joss Whedon’s dogs are cute, but holy hell are they yappy.

[via here and here]

Well it looks like Ben may have already locked up the win in our Fantasy Summer Box Office pool. Ben had The Avengers, which exceeded even Hollywood’s most coke-fueled delusions, crushing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows‘s previous opening weekend record of $168.2 million last year, and grossing $200.3 million. Reached for comment, my friend Pato, the Amazonian tribesman, said, “Holy shit! More than seven?”

Disney owns Marvel, who made The Avengers, so between this and John Carter, it sounds like they’ll juuust about break even. Nice to see those kids come out on top for a change.

Heading into the weekend, pre-release audience surveys indicated the 3-D film would have a massive domestic opening of at least $150 million, giving it one of the top five highest U.S. debuts ever. Instead, the movie soared beyond expectations, easily surpassing the $168.2 million 2011 debut of previous record-holder “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2.” The picture also raked in more money in its first three days than strong performers such as ”The Dark Knight,” “The Hunger Games” and “Spider-Man 3,” all of which collected over $150 million upon their debuts.

The film also had a phenomenal weekend overseas, where it opened in many foreign countries roughly a week ago. Playing in 52 international markets, the movie collected $151.5 million this weekend, raising its total abroad to $441.5 million. That means that after just two weeks in release, “The Avengers” has already sold $641.8 million worth of tickets at the global box office. [LATimes]

I eagerly await the inevitable shameless attempts to piggyback on this success, such as “Abraham Lincoln: Invulnerable Green Rage Monster.”

After the credits it's an after party!

Opening Everywhere: Marvel’s The Avengers

HEY GRANDPARENTS!!! OPENING EVERYWHERE: THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL!!!

Possibly Opening Somewhere: LOL, A Little Bit of Heaven

Never Heard of ‘Em: Mother’s Day, Meeting Evil

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