The Expendables 2 has a trailer out, and it’s great if all you were looking for was two-second shots of all the characters. REMEMBER WHO’S IN THIS!? DO YOU?! Although that skull logo that got stabbed in the eyes and grew a billion guns out of its head was pretty cool. Somewhere, Ed Hardy is furiously scribbling ideas onto a notepad. They’ve also released a synopsis, and not to worry, the characters still have ridiculous names.

The Expendables are back and this time it’s personal… Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Lee Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren),Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) — with newest members Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) and Maggie (Yu Nan) aboard — are reunited when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) enlists the Expendables to take on a seemingly simple job. The task looks like an easy paycheck for Barney and his band of old-school mercenaries. But when things go wrong and one of their own is viciously killed, the Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory where the odds are stacked against them. Hell-bent on payback, the crew cuts a swath of destruction through opposing forces, wreaking havoc and shutting down an unexpected threat in the nick of time — six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium; enough to change the balance of power in the world. But that’s nothing compared to the justice they serve against the villainous adversary who savagely murdered their brother. That is done the Expendables way…. [Collider]

Would you say that the odds are… JACKED against them??? (*Terry Crews flexes, punches through laptop screen and bangs your girlfriend*)

Starring! Statham! Crews! Couture! Lundgren! Van Damme! Schwarzenegger! Li! Norris! …And introducing …SYLVESTER STALLONE’S PEN!

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Continuing its tradition of being theoretically awesome but a chore to actually sit through, The Expendables franchise added two more aging action legends to the cast of its sequel back in September, and now the first pictures of Norris and JCVD have hit the web (via ComingSoon). Continuing the tradition of silly names, according to IMDB, Norris is playing “Booker,” while Van Damme will portray “Jean Vilain.”  Just going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing the latter is a bad guy. In either case, I’m sure their characters will be introduced only in the most organic, necessary-to-the-plot manner. (Sidenote: It must be awesome for Chuck Norris that he has all those Chuck Norris Facts to distract people from what a whack job he actually is.)

I also enjoy that they managed to get a Belgian in a black turtle neck and a Hollywood producer in tinted shades and a ridiculously unnecessary scarf. All that’s missing is an Italian guy in a speedo flipping pizza dough and a Mexican pulling a donkey. Come to think of it, Danny Trejo should really be in this. Playing “Juan Tofessobee” or something.
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One week.  That’s how long 50 Cent lasted as Forrest Whitaker’s replacement on The Expendables.  With no word on why, Stallone told Harry from AICN that 50 was being replaced by Terry Crews.  It’s a shame they lost Forrest Whitaker – with Stallone, Statham, Li, Trejo, Lundgren, Rourke, et al, they needed an Oscar winner for credibility.  Now there’s no guarantee that the movie isn’t going to be like wandering into a party that’s just a bunch of roided up old dudes flexing. (and who hasn’t been there?).  But Terry Crews certainly fits in better.  Forrest Whitaker doesn’t even take his shirt off at the pool.  ;-(