This trailer for Red Tails is very important as it was produced by the famous cat thief George Lucas. However, it doesn’t seem to have any reaction shots from families of squirrels or characters swinging through the trees with monkeys, so it’s possible George just cut a check and went back to playing Hot Wheels on his racecar bed and shoving fistfuls of money into his stretchy neck pouch. Instead, Red Tails, directed by Anthony Hemingway, tells the story of the Tuskeegee Airmen, a squadron of negro pilots during WWII whose rambunctious jungle planing at first terrified the white establishment, until it eventually captivated the youth and swept the country, going on to “influence” white pilots from Elvis to John Travolta. Some people say black guys make better pilots because of the extra muscle in their throttle arm, but science has already disproven this theory.

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Here’s Black Eye Peas founder and Wolverine cast member Will.i.am, on his way to an arm-wrestling competition after a long day working on the docks (I assume).  He recently did an interview with Elle, where he discussed his Terrence Howard-esque love of baby wipes:

Another pet peeve is wet sinks.

ELLE: Wet sinks?
W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don’t wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she’s got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain’t got no baby wipes?

ELLE: I’ve heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?
W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes. [Elle]

You heard it here, folks, Will.i.am poops chocolate.  I like to imagine Will.i.am trekking up a tall, fog-shrouded mountain in the Tibetan highlands, seeking the legendary wisdom of Sheik Terrence Howard, who would eventually validates the pilgrimage by recounting the parable of the chocolate on the hardwood floor.

“I’ve come seeking guidance, Sensei. Can you teach me how to get the women to use the baby wipes?”

“Of course, William-san.  But first, you clean chocolate off floor.”

“But, Sensei, how does cleaning chocolate off the floor teach–”

“Wax on, wax off.”

“…you are most wise, Sensei.”

The first footage has hit the web from Darrell Roodt’s Winnie, a biopic of Winnie Mandela and ostensibly an awards vehicle for Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson. But as the footage begins, Hudson is quickly overshadowed by FilmDrunk favorite Terrence Howard’s powerhouse performance as Nelson Mandela.  Mandela has previously been portrayed on film by a who’s who of fine actors — Morgan Freeman, Sidney Poitier, Dannis Haysbert, Danny Glover, Dave Chappelle — but never by a philosopher on the level of Terrence Howard.  Naturally, we wanted to get the news straight from the source, so we asked Terrence Howard how it felt to play a living saint.

(*the faint sound of bongo drums can be heard across the alley*)
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When he’s not bringing you important reminders about the importance of washing your hands or using baby wipes on your vagina, Terrence Howard is a pretty good actor.  In fact, I’ve heard it’s his favorite thing to do behind poetry slams and scatting.  And now rumor has it that he’ll be playing Marvin Gaye in a new biopic from Cameron Crowe.

The actor tells me he has been talking to Cameron Crowe about starring as soul singer Marvin Gaye. Crowe has been working for 3½ years on the Sony biopic. The director has gone back to the drawing board after Will Smith turned down the role. Mowtown [sic] founder Berry Gordy Jr. is supporting the project, which has secured rights to Gaye’s music.  “Nothing’s been signed on paper yet,” Howard tells me. “Everybody who loves music will hate me if I get this one wrong.”

Him being a close friend of FilmDrunk, I asked Terrence Howard if he could comment on the project further:

“Look, man, Terrence Howard didn’t sign no papers because Terrence Howard thinks papers are unclean, man, ya dig?  But papers are beside the point, baby, because wood products are a steam engine of irrelevancy.  Me and Cameron Crowe don’t need contracts, man. Our souls have a connection that transcends time, like two seagulls makin love on a pier. We make music.  We move glaciers.  We smoke grass and watch Elizabethtown four times and play drums for pigeons in the park, and we know that’s the truth, baby.  You know what I mean?  Contracts just bind us to what I call the illusions of perceptionality, man.  Because the truth is, we all of us connected: me, you, Marvin Gaye, seagulls, music, hubcaps, the ocean, wind farms, and Captain Crunch.  Me and Cameron Crowe gonna do what we do, and whether that’s the story of Marvin Gaye or a modern dance opera about spear fishing, you just gonna have to wait and see, baby.”

I tried to ask what he meant by that, but he just put his finger over his mouth and kept playing his djembe.

Morgan Freeman was born to play Nelson Mandela, but his performance in Invictus was unfortunately overshadowed by that movie being super boring. So it was pleasant to hear that our favorite philosopher Terrence Howard would soon be trying to breathe new life into the role.

Terrence Howard (“Iron Man”) is to portray Nelson Mandela in the Jennifer Hudson-starring feature “Winnie,” based on the story of Winnie Mandela, Nelson Mandela’s former wife. Darrell Roodt is directing the $15 million historical drama, a South Africa-Canada co-production set to start production May 31 in Cape Town, Johannesburg and Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela was held prisoner for 18 years. [THR]

Him being a close friend of FilmDrunk, I asked Howard himself what it was like stepping into a role so recently played by someone else, especially on the same day a role he first played was being handled by Don Cheadle.  Here’s what he had to say:

“Look, man, some cats look at life as if it’s a dusty dresser in a Penny Saver ad, man, but that ain’t me, ya dig?  Where you see strife I see synchronicity, because I’m not riding shotgun in the cockpit of negativism. It’s a free association, not homeowner’s assocation.  I cruise through life like it’s a Segway scooter, man.  And if I find a harmonica, it don’t matter where it’s been, it’s about the music that it makes, man.  So if you’re asking me not to make music, I’d have to say you’re seeing the world through rusty sunglasses, man.  Our separation is an irrelevancy.  I feel the rhythms of the universe, and it’s poetry.  We’re all of us connected — me, you, Morgan Freeman, Nelson Mandela, a vacuum cleaner, Mexicans, a Susan B. Anthony dollar, goats, my sock drawer, and the oceans, man.  Mother nature provides the drums, and all we can do is beat on it for a while, you dig?”