Some background: Teeth is about a girl with teeth in her naughty parts.  It opens in limited release 1-18-08.  Here’s the latest clip.

Jess Weixler "plays a chaste teen coping with temptations of the flesh on a daily basis. All that she believes is called into question when she realizes she is a living example of the vagina dentata myth." I’m guessing there will be symbolism.

I still can’t tell if this is supposed to be a comedy or drama, but judging by this clip, it’s set in some strange and campy parallel universe, like a John Waters flick. I mean, I guess it’s set in a parallel universe.  I went to Mormon school, so when sex ed time came around, our teacher just said "Boys have a penis and girls pee from their butt," and then we had a Sprite party.   

I don’t always post the posters for stuff, because one of the main things I like about movies is that they take the time to shoot a bunch of still shots first, then play them back really fast to create the illusion of motion.  That said, here’s a bunch of posters.

Teeth – Story about a girl with teeth in her vagine lifted from Freud along with a poster with a tagline lifted from a Poison song. 

21 – “Hey, Kevin Spacey and Laurence Fishburne are in this movie.  Wanna put ‘em in the poster?”  “Naw, that’s okay.”

Cloverfield – Look, it has a title now. Cool, right? Hello? Is anyone still paying attention?

Solomon Kane – You know what was a great movie? Van Helsing. We should make our poster just like theirs.  [Ed Note - I also give them bonus points for not showing James Purefoy's face, since he's the only reason I'd consider seeing this]

Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem – Is it just me, or is there a weird schlong-shaped thing in the middle of this?  What’s going on with that? Do the Japanese characters explain it? I have a Japanese character tattooed on my arm – I’m not sure what it means, but girls always seem to translate as "Dipshit".

Watch the trailer for Teeth here

One thing I like is when movies avoid gimmickry. 

High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her taks is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

Yup, it’s a movie about a girl with a toothy vagine.  I thought that happened to a chick I was banging once, but then I realized just I hadn’t unzipped her pants yet.  Sometimes you just can’t wait, you know?  What can I say, I’m a passionate man.