Over the past few days, a fake People Magazine cover featuring Taylor Lautner “Out & Proud” spread across the internet like some kind of non-domesticated conflagration. It was obviously fake, but it’s easy to see why it still spread, since calling people “gay” on the internet is every 13-year-old’s favorite thing (just ahead of “fake” and “first”). But Russell Simmons is 54, he can’t be expected to be up on all the latest cyber jargon.

Producer Russell Simmons was fooled by the the fake, tweeting, “proud of Taylor Lautner for his bravery and his courage.”

At which point, naturally and deservedly, the Twittersphere became a collective Nelson Muntz, pointing and laughing derisively. It’s okay, Russell, everyone gets duped from time to time. Time to respond gracefully, self-deprecatingly…

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Last year, when I asked Vince if I could rank the year’s worst movies, it seemed like a harmless enough idea. Now, though, I realize how terrible it was, because I have to watch these horrible movies. Here’s a fun fact: 2011 HAD SO MANY F*CKING TERRIBLE MOVIES. And now that SOPA is about to kick in and limit my ability to criticize these awful films and the dipsh*ts who make them, lest I end up in military prison for life, I figured that this year’s list needed to be more concise than last year’s effort.

For starters, I added some new superlatives because it’s simply not fair to other terrible movies that Adam Sandler and Happy Madison crapped out 4 movies this year. I have to be impartial when I’m putting together a list of the worst movies and that’s just not possible when Bucky Larson is such a phenomenally awful movie. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Without further ado, I give you the Worst Movies of 2011. Please share this with as many people as possible so we can put an end to the misery.

Just kidding, that won’t happen. After all, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg will be releasing The Biggest Movie of All-Time 3D next year. We’re doomed.

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Chances are if you live in a major city, you’ve noticed small groups of young girls and desperate middle-aged women gathering near your local cineplex, and yes, your worst nightmares have come true – another Twilight movie is upon us. Twihards have been lining up at theaters as early as this past weekend so they wouldn’t miss the Thursday debut of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. That’s right, it’s a vampire love story so true that they broke it in two.

Last night, the saga’s stars showed up at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles for the film’s premiere, and the fans were in full force there as well. In fact, here’s a sampling of actual quotes from the women – and men – of all ages who traveled from all over the country to wave insane-looking signs in the air at last night’s event:

“Rob turn this way, I’m throwing kisses at you.”

“I am literally going to die when Kristen Stewart walks by here.”

“Put your camera on me. I want to show my parents I am not at school this week.”

And my favorite:

“Oh my God, there is Robert Pattinson. Oh wait. Nope it is not him. It’s only Cody Simpson.”

But words can do no justice to the Twihardery that went down last night in L.A., so after the jump I’ve got the stars, the celebrity guests (including the Ghosts of Teen Stardom Past) and the fans. Oh my Lord, wait til you see the fans.

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MORNING LINKS
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Pimped Out Product Placement: The Most Ridiculous Donk Cars To Hit The Road |UPROXX|

Frotcast 73: Pauly tweets his way to the top, Michael Fassbender’s penis, Thomas Kinkade |Film Drunk|

Vodka-Soaked Tampons Are Seriously a Thing |Warming Glow|

One Last Run: Listen To Hot 97′s Heavy D Tribute |Smoking Section|

62 Photos Of The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show |Buzzfeed|

Adult Swim Interview: Das Racist’s Dapwell Wants to Live in Chinatown |Adult Swim|

Kris Jenner admits to cheating on her dead husband, as if you needed to be convinced she’s a terrible person. |TheSuperficial|

Terry Richardson makes out with Chloe Sevigny dressed as Terry Richardson. Sorry, breakfast! |Videogum|

11 Women Warriors of World War II. |MentalFloss|

Angel Hott probably isn’t her real name, but she does enjoy see-through underwear. |GorillaMask|

7 Hollywood icons who were targeted by J. Edgar Hoover.  |ScreenJunkies|

Six people we’d rather see host the Oscars than Billy Crystal. |HolyTaco|

Memorable Moments in Television: Emile Hirsch Gets Egged on 3rd Rock from the Sun |Unreality|

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This weekend was supposed to be the weekend we found out that putting an actor only girls like into a premise only guys like is as horrible an idea as that sounds, but it didn’t quite work out that way. True, Abduction opened in fourth behind Brad Pitt’s Moneyball and Marine Biologist Harry Connick Jr.’s Dolphin Tale, but its $11.2 million take still put it ahead of Killer Elite, which starred Jason Statham, Clive Owen, and Robert Deniro. So just in case Righteous Kill and Little Fockers weren’t big enough hits to Deniro’s credibility, we now know that when it comes to opening a film, he pales in comparison to the retarded kid from Twilight. Boy, he’s really spitting on his legacy now. With a bilious mixture of mostly-digested food from one of his three stomachs, depending on how agitated he is.

Oh, and a 3D re-release of an animated Disney film from 17 years ago in its second weekend beat the opening of a new Brad Pitt movie. But I’m not going to tell you that that means the sky is falling — people really love the Lion King. And to be fair, baseball is really boring, and the best way to spice it up probably isn’t math equations. Maybe next time, turn it into some post-apocalyptic future sport, where instead of a ball, the pitchers throw ninja stars, and the batter has to try to hit them with a big snake! “This summer, Vin Diesel, Nick Cannon, and Cam Gigandet star in…  SNAKEBASE!”

[chart via BoxOfficeMojo]