Taylor Kitsch was on the Today Show this morning promoting Disney’s John Carter, and after the usual boring talk about doing his own stunts and what length the fans like his hair (BUT WAIT, TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORKOUT REGIMEN!), they played a partial trailer, which you can watch below. Kitsch plays a Civil War veteran who gets transported to Mars and gets caught up in the conflicts there. Basically, it’s like Cowboys and Aliens on Mars, with a light queef-dusting of Avatar (and the ten previous movies Avatar implies), where the aliens all speak in British accents to let you know that they’re important.

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Click to animate (recommended)

After the jump, it’s the first trailer for Universal’s Battleship, which is loosely based on the board game and reportedly cost $200 million to make. I think it looks amazingly terrible, but then I could be biased because I’ve read the script. It stars the poor man’s Chris Pine, Taylor Kitsch as a cocky young blah blah something something aliens come and Rihanna is there. Liam Neeson reprises his role as Guy Who Likes Paychecks, and Alexander Skarsgård is all “HURRR, I’M HANDSOME.” Also, the aliens have jumping battleships in this one. That’s right, JUMPING BATTLESHIPS. It makes sense, because they’re aliens. Hey, Hollywood, maybe it’d be easier to just tell us which movies AREN’T about alien invasions from now on.

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There have already been three X-Men movies, and even while the last one was pulling random mutants like a dude who throws sticks and a gay guy with angel wings out its ass, there was no Gambit.  Gambit’s finally in the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and here we have our first picture. As you can see, he’s played by Canadian Taylor Kitsch, previously of Friday Night Lights. I think the character would be more fun if instead of cards he carried around a sack full of baby chicks

[Empire via Wearemoviegeeks]

That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars?  Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana?  No one can say for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee ha!

Though I have it on good authority that Gambit wasn’t in the original X-Men Origins: Wolverine script, the consensus on the interwebs is that he’s in it, and he’ll be played by some fruity looking nancy boy.

Scooper ‘Chaos Bringer’ has revealed on Superhero Hype!‘s message boards that "Friday Night Lights" star Taylor Kitsch will play Gambit (AKA Remy LeBeau) in director Gavin Hood’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Kitsch has signed a three-picture deal.

You may remember Chaos Bringer from his pulitzer prize winning reportage vis a vis the Teapot Dome scandal. 

Anyway, remember when a superhero could be played by a regular dude with a swagger and a beer gut, a la George Reeves?  Now we get former Diesel models who are "passionate about nutrition and fitness" and the guy from Hairspray.  Not to mention, his name is "Taylor".  Might as well name your kid "Twinkle Toes", or "Jazz Hands".  In this movie, instead of throwing exploding playing cards, Gambit’ll probably release butterflies or white doves… okay, on second thought, exploding doves would actually be really cool.