Fox has announced that it will be rebooting Fantastic Four.  The upside is that the rebooted version couldn’t be much worse than the two they already made.  Ha, just kidding, this is Fox, where making things worse is job one.  (Job two?  Don’t drool).

Though Marvel Entertainment owns and finances properties like “Iron Man” and “Thor,” Fox controls “Fantastic Four” in perpetuity — as long as it continues making the films. Fox has the same arrangement on Marvel Comics properties “X-Men,” “Daredevil” and “Silver Surfer.”

The 2005 “Fantastic Four” and 2007 sequel “Rise of the Silver Surfer” were directed by Tim Story and starred Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis. Since the deals for the reboot are just getting made, it is unclear if any of them will return. [and if they were returning, it wouldn't really be a "reboot", now would it.]

Tim Story, if you’ll remember, was the guy who directed Taxi, about Jimmy Fallon driving around NY with Queen Latifah in a souped-up cab (it practically writes itself!).  So if you don’t want to take my word for it that Fox is run by domesticated seals, consider only that they put what they considered an important movie franchise in the hands of THE GUY WHO DIRECTED EFFING TAXI.

Akiva Goldsman has been hired to oversee the reboot as producer. Michael Green, the co-exec producer of TV’s “Heroes” who co-wrote “Green Lantern,” will write the script for the new “Fantastic Four.” [Variety]

Let’s see… if people are going to get behind this reboot idea after we’ve already burned them twice, we’ll need to hire a writer who’s REALLY HOT right now.  I’m talking Jonas Brothers in tuxedos hot.  I know!  We’ll get the guy who co-wrote The Green Lantern!  He’s so hot, his movie isn’t even out yet!  He’s so hot, no one even knows if he’s any good!

Brad, you’re a genius.  I only have one question: Can we get the guy who directed I Love You Beth Cooper?