I was trying to avoid this story, but it’s all over the internet.  I think my mom even emailed it to me along with that Susan Boyle clip and the hugging lion.  Anyway, the story is, Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro are remaking Taxi Driver.  Or at least, Danish director Lars von Trier wants them to.

The idea is similar to the film “The Five Obstructions” that Von Trier and Danish helmer Jorgen Leth made in 2003. In that film, Von Trier challenged his colleague Leth to do a remake of his own 1967 film “The Perfect Human.” Von Trier gave Leth the task of remaking five times, each time with a different obstacle, such as making the film animated, or setting it in Cuba. In the new project, Von Trier will challenge Scorsese and De Niro to remake their 1976 classic “Taxi Driver.”

The story took on a life of its own after a Danish newspaper published an interview in which Peter Aalbaeck Jensen, von Trier’s business partner and executive producer, said he could neither confirm nor deny the rumors. ”There will be a statement coming shortly,” he said — although another Danish source confirmed the collaboration.

Over the weekend, when Scorsese was doing press in Berlin, he did not mention the Von Trier project, as discussion focused on features in pre-production, such as a 3D adaptation of Brian Selznick’s novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret.” [Variety]

So basically, the only one talking about this so far is Lars von Trier.  It’s all part of our ongoing segment, “Shut up, Lars von Trier.”   Oh the Danish.  ”Jä, jä, øønt zeess time, perhapz Travis Bickle isht Gayn-gger from Outer Schpace.”

UPDATE:  Ooh, big shocker here, looks like none of this is happening.

The world dropped a collectively load in its sweatpants today when it was revealed that Robert DeNiro actually stole his most famous line in Taxi Driver.  From Bruce Springsteen.

De Niro made the admission to Springsteen’s bandmate Clarence Clemons – who coached the actor to play the saxophone for movie New York, New York.

Clemons tells the New York Daily News, “(He) had been to one of our concerts and the audience was yelling out ‘Bruce!’ In those days, Bruce would stop onstage and say, ‘You talkin’ to me?’

“De Niro was kind of channeling him.” [DailyExpress]

I’m not that disillusioned, if only because I never assumed it was something DeNiro wrote in the first place.  He’s an actor.  Actors are good at dressing up like other people and saying things other people say.  It’s just strange that this is only coming out now.  It’s probably because people never ask the black saxophone player what he thinks.  He’s just supposed to sit there and laugh at all of Jay Leno’s stupid jokes.  Ha, hunting with Dick Cheney, good one, Jay.

Ricky Gervais was recently chased down the street in Los Angeles by a mob of Swedish tourists.  Not because they love his work or because he stole their meatballs, but because they thought he was Robert DeNiro.

The group pursued him down the street, shouting one of 64-year-old Robert’s most famous movie lines after him.  An onlooker told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: "Ricky is hugely popular in Hollywood, so it wasn’t a surprise to see him chased by autograph hunters.

"But this quartet of fairly elderly folk on their vacation seemed a bit confused. They kept yelling at him, ‘Are you looking at me?’  They were obviously trying to speak the line, ‘Are you talking to me?’ from De Niro’s Taxi Driver but getting it slightly wrong. It was all very funny."

"They caught up with Ricky and though I’m not sure the confusion was cleared up, they were happy.  They came away talking about pigs feet and tried to order some in the Ivy." [source]

Keep this in mind next time you envy the Scandinavians their socialized healthcare system.  Sure, you may have to spend $300 on an X-ray and contract anal warts from a botched colonoscopy, but at least you don’t have an elderly menace roaming the streets babbling about pig’s feet when they should be sleeping comfortably in their coffins.