BRO, my dad was a D-Psi-B at Fresno!

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! Fire up the kegerator and get a couple pledges to drive, because the movie of the century is filming in Los Angeles right now and we don’t want to miss it. Townies is a comedy “centered on a frat boy whose behavior affects a local neighbor’s family life” and the bro in question is played by none other than Zac Efron, the dude who used to shack with that Vanessa Hudgens babe and recently got peed on by that Nicole Kidman cougar.

Co-starring Seth (B)Rogen, Dave Franco and FilmDrunk’s favorite pledge brother Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Townies is gonna be, like, the raddest movie ever, as long as they don’t mention that time that Jizzy Pete and Black Steve got arrested for pouring mayonnaise and tissues all over the floor at the TKE house and leaving a dude-on-dog porn playing on the house TV. The cops were totes not cool about that sh*t. It’s like, take a joke, d-bags.

Anyway, check out Zac’s sweet tat. It’s not as cool as Fat Pat’s Cat in the Hat Sig Ep ink on his shoulder, but whatever. I bet that p*ssy cried.

(Image via the Daily Mail)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: there’s a woman in Wales with her dead cats tattooed on her back. The cats’ names are Tinky, Woody, Mr Brush, Mr Spock and Bella. While we don’t know with 100 percent certainty that Bella the cat is named after Bella the abstinent vampire lover from Twilight, I’m going to go out on a limb and file this one under “ladies who name their cats after Twilight characters do the darnedest things.” It’s a nice follow-up to the one who had to fight off Renesmee the cat with her husband’s c-pap machine.

Trust me: You’re going to want to see this tattoo.

Fran Bailey, 23, had the puss pictures permanently inked on her skin so can always remember them. Fran said: “I love my cats and I love my tattoo. A lot of people who have lost pets can relate to it.”
Fran took in the cats from animal shelters and cared for her poorly cats at her home in Newtown, in Powys, Mid Wales.
She said: “When I went to the rescue centre I asked for the most ill and unloved cats they had so that they would have somewhere to go.
“That meant the ones I had were ones with feline AIDS so they all died. On average I lost one every two months.”

Well yeah, if you’re adopting AIDS cats, you’re going to need at least six to last you the whole year, everyone knows that. Okay, enough foreplay, let’s see this tattoo with the incredible backstory:

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Okay, okay, so it’s not actually Michael Bay’s tattoo (that I know of). Still, it’s a pretty amazing tattoo. What’s up with the three eyes, is it like that Game of Thrones crow? Also, I feel strongly that “fagg*t” should’ve been misspelled. And, as Jacktion pointed out, it would’ve been nice if they’d spelled it “Amurica”, or ‘Murka.

No, this isn’t news, but then again, kiss my ass.

This young lass seems so demure. I wonder where she went to finishing school. |Buzzfeed|

MORNING LINKS
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FILMDRUNKARD: Help Pauly Dangerously perform at Caroline’s. That dirty son of a bitch. |Pauly|

Listen to our latest Frotcast with Lindy in a nightgown. It will be the most important thing you do today. |Frotcast|

Charlie Day = Good ‘SNL’ |Warming Glow|

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The Mike Tyson quotes song. |GorillaMask|

Dr. Conrad Murray found guilty of manslaughter, so sleep easy tonight, eccentric junkie billionaires. …Or perhaps you won’t be able to sleep easy. This is a tough one. |Superfish|

Ever wondered what would happen if you set off ALL the fireworks at once? This. Just stop wondering and click the link, stupid. |Videogum|

“Kitty City” is not at all what you would expect it to be. Aw. |DogAndPonyShowWebsite|

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James Franco’s ass recently appeared on the cover of Flaunt magazine (which I’m sure you all read, underline, and own every copy of), and while I’ve no doubt it was celebrity profile most fascinating, I covered this story mostly so I could write that headline. It’s the headline I was born to write. I’m sure you understand. And if  you just want to skip the blockquote, I’ve got some more ass-related stuff after the jump that I highly recommend.

Flaunt: Those who have critiqued your work in the last couple years seem to express a lot of confusion at what’s going on—surely, much of which is to do with your voluminous and commendable output. Still, are you seeking to confuse? Is this part of your artistic intent? If so, why?
Franco: I don’t think what I’m doing is confusing. It’s no more confusing than what Mathew Barney does, or Mike Kelley, or Paul McCarthy, or Sacha Baron Cohen. What is confusing is that I’m an actor in mainstream film and the people that usually comment on mainstream film are idiots, and they don’t try to think outside of their pop-culture commentaries. It’s so easy to criticize contemporary art from the outside: ‘Douglas Gordon slowed down Psycho so it’s 24-hours long?  That’s easy!  I can do that.’ That’s how the morons in the blogosphere try to critique my work. But the great thing about it is, is that their critiques are part of my work. I like that they are confused. I like that they make fun of what I’m doing. It’s a beautiful reflection of where our culture is at the moment.

Oh, James Franco, I don’t find Dicknose in Paris confusing, I find it hilarious! I love James Franco’s work (the visible stuff, anyway). But that’s probably because we both went to the same school of fine ascots. “Pip pip, old chap — been keeping up with the fellows from the old monoclery?” Anyway, you can find the rest of the interview here, but in the interests of brevity, I would consider this question the fart huffingest:

Flaunt: Your recent work (self-referential, video video-ing the video-er, etc.), much like that described by Nicolas Bourriaud and practiced by Dominique Gonzalez-Foerster, seems to invoke relational aesthetics, an inclusion/participation of the viewer—‘You’re as much a part of this as I am,’ so to speak. Still, you seem to be quite selective with who that viewer should be, and how that participant should contribute. Are you interested in including the public, or someone at random, in your work? Why or why not?

See, journalists? That’s how you ask an open-ended question. And that’s to say nothing of a later query prefaced with the interviewer’s notion that “contemporary oppression is much more individualized, or laden with technological change.” Sounds fun!

Anyway, let’s get to the ass stuff!

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