The other night when Tara Reid showed up to a benefit to raise awareness for child snatching (she should have pulled out her weather-beaten snatch, to drive home what a terrible thing a snatching can be), neither of her boobs fell out while she was talking, which was considered a great success.  But for me and the two other people who actually paid attention to what she was saying, it was her offhand remark about shooting Big Lebowski 2 this year which caused the greatest (*sound of The Flintstones braking*).   Austin360 recently asked the Coen Brothers what they’d heard about the project, since the people who’d be writing it are usually a good place to start.

Ethan responded with a chuckle, saying, “I’m glad she’s working on it.”
When I asked if they actually had something in the works, Ethan said, “Well, we don’t but we’ll watch it when it comes out.” To which Joel quickly added, “Especially if Tara’s in it.”

Apparently, Tara Reid’s people have tried to clarify the misstep, as well. A spokesperson for Reid told Entertainment Weekly, “She heard Jeff Bridges say that he wanted to make ‘Big Lebowski 2’ and have all the original cast members in it, so she may have misspoke, thinking that included her based on what Jeff said.”

Well that’s why you don’t let the people on weed hang out with the people on coke.  The weed people are always coming up with neat ideas, and the coke people are always demanding follow through, like, “Hey, why are you sleeping?  You PROMISED we are going to open our own casino about pants!”

More importantly, if she was this wrong about Big Lebowski 2, is it possible American Pie 4 isn’t such a foregone conclusion either?  That’s a scary thought.  Someone better tell Natasha Lyonne to try to make nice with her Chik Fil A manager again.

…She’s alive, right?

Read the rest of this entry »

Hello, folks, and welcome to another exciting installment of “How High is Tara Reid?”  Reid, along with Jon Lovitz and others, recently hosted a benefit promoting awareness about child snatching and sex trafficking at the Comedy Club (well done, Family Guy manatees, let’s break for lunch), where she was asked what projects she had coming up.  To which she responded:

“I have a movie coming out called The Fields. I have another one coming out that I produced with my brother, called The Irishman.  And we’ll be doing American Pie 4 this year and Big Lebowski 2 this year.”

The reporter then asks “That’s gonna be a fun reunion, are you excited for that?”  And Tara answers, correctly assuming as a matter of course that the reporter was referring to American Pie and not Big Lebowski, because they’re both on the same idiot wavelength.  This sentiment was shared by YouTube commenter “EdwardCullenBabe95″:

OMG AMERICAN PIE 4 IS FILMING THIS YEAR!?!? SO F*CKING EXICTED!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT (STEVE STIFLER) RETURNS!!! <3333

Anyway, as for Big Lebowski 2, this is the first I or anyone else has heard of it, as far as I can tell.  Coming from Tara Reid, it’d be easy to dismiss, but incredibly, all the other projects she mentioned do exist.  My best guess is, she means that, though there won’t literally be a Big Lebowski sequel, she’ll still suck your c*ck for a thousand dollars.

[Thanks to Ted for the tip]

Darren Lynn Bousman directed Saw II, III, and IV, as well as Repo! The Genetic Opera, guaranteeing that he would be the butt of jokes on this site more than a few times, and probably for years to come.  Truthfully, a Paris Hilton goth musical is easily number two on my list of things I never want to watch, just behind puppy snuff.  That said, he was a guest on the Adam Carolla podcast this week, and not only was he quite candid, he had a hell of a story to tell about how he broke into the business.

After making some short films that all his friends in Florida told him were great, he moved to Hollywood, only to find out his shorts were actually quite sh*tty and get laughed out the office of everyone he showed them to.  He spent the next eight years as a lowly production assistant, culminating in a stint as Tara Reid’s assistant on Van Wilder.  That’s where this block quote picks up…

“So I became Tara Reid’s assistant.  And it was always like “Darrell, Devin, Derrick” — she never knew my name, and my job was to like hold her cigarettes and Pepsi at all times. Eventually I was fired from that job.  So finally I was like, ‘I’m going to write a script and I’m not going to stop until this thing gets made.’  And so I wrote this script, called The Desperate.  I sent it out, no one would read it.  Because you get in that Catch 22 in Hollywood, where you have to have [a script to get an agent, and you have to have] an agent or else no one will read the script.

“My way to circumvent that catch 22 was, I made up a fake management company. I even had letterhead made, and I had a friend of mine answer the phones. And so, I was an assistant at the time at an agency, and my job was to read the scripts that came in.  And so I changed the title of my screenplay and made it by a different person.  Then I had it come through this fake agency that I had created and I put a message out to all the other assistants, “This is the best f*cking thing I’ve ever read, have you guys read this?”

“And by that point, I had heat, because all the other people were like, “Oh, Darren read this thing, he thinks it’s great.”  And long story short, this screenplay ended up getting bought by the people who made the Saw films.” [Check out the whole podcast here]

From there, through a combination of begging and promising to take a lower salary than anyone else, he managed to convince the people to let him direct the second Saw movie.  It’s sad that it had to culminate in Repo! the Genetic Opera, because excluding that part, it’s a pretty awesome story.  It’s kind of like telling how you won the state championship on a last-second, game-winning hail mary pass.  But the quarterback of the opposing team had earlier dedicated the game to his little brother with cancer, who ending up dying distraught and confused just a few hours later.  And all the doctors said it was the game that did it.  But, you know, congrats, dude, you won.

American Pie has already spawned two theatrical sequels, four direct-to-DVD sequels, and countless uncredited attempts to capitalize on its success.  Meaning that there’s a huge built-in audience for the American Pie brand. And if you agreed with that idiotic statement, congratulations, you could be a Universal exec.

The studio is poised to bring on “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg to script a new take on the franchise, which is being described in the development community as “American Pie 4.” [Hence a sequel to the last theatrical sequel rather than a complete reboot] The movie would come on the heels of the third theatrical movie in the franchise, “American Wedding,” which came out in 2003, and a slew of lucrative DVD titles that followed.  At least some of the original cast is interested in coming back for the new picture, though sources emphasized that development is early and there are no actor deals in place.  [LA Times]

The only way I’d be interested in this is if Chris Klein plays his “This guy walks through the raindrops” character from Street Fighter.  But of course the original cast is interested.  Tara Reid and Natasha Lyonne need coke money, and Thomas Ian Nicholas will probably want to build a Scientology center or something if his music career doesn’t pan out.   And Eugene Levy (see the top row of the below graph), he’s just happy to help out.  Sh-t, he’ll sing at your Bat Mitzvah if you ask nice.

Read the rest of this entry »