After the jump, I’ve got the new trailer for Takashi Miike’s (Ichi the Killer, Gozu) Sukiyaki Western Django (opening in August). 

Set during "The Genpei Wars" at the end of the 1100s [strange considering all the guns and the Union Jack attire], the Minamoto and Taira gangs face off in a town named Yuda, while a deadly gunman (Ito Hideaki) comes to the aid of the townsfolk.

Synopses don’t tell the whole story when it comes to Miike movies, because they don’t make any fucking sense – but in a good way, that often involves lactation, giving birth to full grown men, and disembowelment.  Unfortunately, this one also includes Quentin Tarantino trying to act.  Love your movies, Quentin, but please, just stop. 

Also, what’s up with every mysterious stranger being named "Rico"?  I’m pretty sure only club promoters and strip club DJs are named Rico. 

UPDATE: See the rest of the Django pics here. Holy crap! There's an Asian cowboy with Union Jack chaps standing next to a guy wearing the sweetest fucking helmet I've ever seen. I have a raging nerd boner.  But a Japanese western?  Gimme a break, I mean, that's like casting Tom Cruise as a samurai, or Charleton Heston as a Mexican.  

The first still of Quentin Tarantino in Takashi Miike's Sukiyaki Western Django (aka Sushi Western) has hit the web.  

Supposedly, Tarantino plays a “mysterious dude by the name of Ringo who appears at the beginning of the movie and fights with an unnamed Japanese cast member, who plays the lover of a female assassin disguised as a town dweller, to be portrayed by Momoi Kaori.”

Say what you want about Tarantino's acting abilities (I actually enjoyed him a lot in From Dusk Till Dawn), I'm pretty excited about a Miike western.  This is, after all, the guy who did Ichi the Killer and Gozu, two of the strangest and most hilariously violent films ever made – films that are as Japanese as tentacle porn and panties from a vending machine.  Ichi the Killer included a scene in which a guy cuts off his own tongue, and another in which a guy gets his face cut off and thrown at a wall.  Gozu included gratuitous lactating, as well as a woman giving birth to a full-grown man.  It's probably the weirdest movie I've ever seen, and I've worked in the porn industry.

I can only imagine a Miike western will include a cowboy breast feeding a donkey, or an Indian getting sliced in half by a wagon train while he masturbates to the disembodied cow udder he's wearing as a headress. I've got a couple Miike clips after the jump.

One Missed Call (watch the trailer at Yahoo) is an American remake of Japanese filmmaker Takashi Miike's 2003 movie Chakushin ari, starring Ed Burns and some other people whose names aren't worth memorizing. I used to rip on Americanized remakes pretty hard, but this was before The Departed.  What can I say, they had me at "gratuitous gunshots to the head".  I love unnecessary headshots like crazy bitches love Girl, Interrupted.  You know that scene in Pan's Labrynth where the guy gets shot in the face? Yeah, I was giggling like a schoolgirl.  Judging by their horrified glares, the other people in the theatre didn't find it as funny as I did.  Anyway:

In One Missed Call, a chain of people receive terrifying cell phone messages of their own final fatal moments. Though the messages can be deleted, their number is up. Beth Raymond (Shannyn Sossamon) is traumatized when she witnesses the gruesome deaths of two friends just days apart. Even more disturbing, she knows that both of them had received chilling cell phone messages—actual recordings of their own horrifying last moments. Impossibly, the calls were received days before they died, but each death occurred precisely when and how the messages foretold. The police think Beth is delusional—except for Detective Jack Andrews (Edward Burns) whose own sister Jean was killed in a freak accident that bears a strange similarity to the deaths of Beth’s friends, Leann (Azura Skye) and Taylor (Ana Claudia Talancón). Together, Jack and Beth work feverishly to unravel the mystery behind the ominous calls. But even as they get closer to the truth, Beth’s cell phone begins to ring with an eerie tune, and the readout says One Missed Call…

On a related note, anyone else noticed how black dudes have started using bluetooth headsets as a fashion accessory?