I am openly and unconditionally in the tank for the insane videos produced by Taiwan’s NMA Studios, so when I saw that they put one together on the Disney-Lucasfilm merger I immediately cleared the next three minutes of my very busy schedule and clicked play. I was not disappointed. The video starts — STARTS — with a cigar-smoking Mickey Mouse handing a $4 billion check to George Lucas in a strip club and proceeding to walk out arm-in-arm with Princess Leia, and it somehow manages to get even better from there. I don’t want to spoil the whole thing for you more than I already have with the headline and banner image, but I will say that (a) The plot of this video is significantly more interesting than anything that happened in the three most recent Star Wars films, which is a statement I feel comfortable making even though I have not seen a single computer-generated second of any of them, and (b) I want the t-shirt at the 2:17 mark more than any of you can possibly imagine.

Never change, you weirdos. Do you hear me? NEVER.

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An art student in Taiwan recently won an art prize by creating an image of Iron Man using his own bloody urine.  The student said he was inspired to create the image when he saw blood in his urine one day creating the iconic Iron Man red and yellow. No word yet on why he was peeing blood, but my racism says martial arts. (Too many kidney shots during kung fu sparring).

He took about two months to find a toilet bowl with a similar oblong shape to the outline of Iron Man’s face. Then he was eating edible pigmentation and successfully produced red, black and green urine. He arranged the colored urine to make it look like the character, and used his saliva to create foam for touching up. He needed to keep adding spit to his work while waiting for the judges to get to him during the contest. And of course, his artwork had produced a foul odor at the exhibition.
The creative artwork has defeated more then 600 competitors to win for the first prize. The graduate student is a fan of Marvel superhero and has a collection of Iron Man products. He said he tried to make his work realistic as possible, otherwise using urine would have been ridiculous. [ChinaTimes via MicGadget]

His winning piece was called, aptly, “Blood Urine Man.” Reached for comment, James Franco just shook his head, saying “You’ve made yourself a powerful enemy today, Blood Urine Man,” as he strapped a dick to his face and rode off on a BMX with a gang of naked gangbangers holding boomboxes.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver famously announced their impending divorce earlier this week, and already Taiwan’s Next Media Animation is ready with the dramatization (video after the jump).  Maria and Arnold never explained the reasons for their divorce, and while I speculated that a dyed-in-the-wool mulatto ass lover like Arnold was only fooling himself thinking he could be with a thin, razor-boned white Kennedy like Maria, Taiwan’s animators seem to imply it the sticking point was more Arnold’s penchant for throwing house cats, and his love of bong-smoking whore orgies between bench-pressing sessions.  I’d like to think we’re both right.  Meanwhile, this is supposed to look like Arnold?

That is clearly David Arquette.  Don’t even think about re-using this for the Arquette/Courteney Cox split re-enactment, you lazy godd*mned Chinamen.  Round Eye no come here for swindle.

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As you might expect, they cater to some VERY kinky clientele

Ever since I saw my first anime fleshlight at Comic-Con, I’ve been fascinated by how Asian folks infuse pop culture into their sex having (“Excuse me, sir?  Just to clarify: so this is a disembodied vagina stuffed inside a flashlight that I can have sex with while pretending it’s a cartoon?”).  The latest story is about a hotel in Kaohsiung City, Taiwan that offers a batman-themed sex room where you can boink your lady.  Do girls like it when you call it “boink”?  I’ve always just assumed that they do.

Eden’s 46 rooms go for $40 to $60 for a three-hour stay, said the motel’s Ann Shu. Like many of Taiwan’s love motels, Eden offers plenty of marketing ploys. During the Christmas and New Year’s period, for example, they’re giving away lubrication, sexy lingerie and other perks. [BoiseWeekly via Jizzmodo]

Well that is a pretty big draw.  Free lube is pretty much the first thing I look for when I’m researching Batman sex beds.  FYI, my Batman sex kit also includes a mask, a fully-stocked utility belt, and numerous grappling hooks.  Also, and I know this probably doesn’t jibe perfectly with the Batman mythology, but I like to say “Ta Da!” a lot.

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