The trailer for Oneechanbara Vortex, a Japanese film about a girl in a bikini who kills zombies with a samurai sword, isn’t in English and doesn’t have subtitles, but somehow I don’t think we’re missing much.  I love how straightforward the Japanese are about this stuff.  I can only imagine the focus group discussions over there – “Look, lady, I’m a regular guy.  I like my steaks medium, my potatoes mashed, my beer cold, and my sex violent, underage, and cartoonish, okay?  We don’t have to reinvent the wheel here.”

[Twitch]

An Indianapolis woman was killed when she tried break up a swordfight between her grandson and brother in law.  Police say sword-related violence is on the rise after a 100-year decline.

Chris Rondeau, 39 and Adolf Stegbauer, 69, got into an argument at a home at about 1 a.m. that escalated when one of the men grabbed a sword, prompting the other man to also brandish a sword.

Say what you will, at least they both brought the correct weapon to the correct type of fight.

Franziska Stegbauer, 77, died as a result of stab wounds, Indianapolis police Sgt. Matt Mount said.  Investigators are trying to determine which man stabbed the woman, but Rondeau was already being held on an attempted murder charge because of wounds that Adolf Stegbauer suffered.

“We’re unsure yet who started this fight, how the swordplay got involved,” said Indianapolis police Sgt. Matt Mount. “We’re not sure who it was who stabbed the woman. We’ll have to do some testing on the swords and figure out who had which sword, whose blood is on which sword.” [IndyChannel]

No word on whether the late Ms. Stegbauer also “lived by the sword,” which would’ve made her death seem seem so much less senseless.

Friday free for all is the time of the week when “film-related” goes out the window in favor of “crazy shit you need to watch right now.”  Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com, and no, ninja guy, I haven’t forgotten about you.

I try not to throw around terms like “best ever” too cavalierly because I used to drive a Chevy Cavalier and that thing sucked. Seriously though, this f-cking video has everything. Here’s the play-by-play:

Knight wearing guyliner rides horse through stream
He meets a medieval lady
He valiantly defends her from some sparks
And then the sword-wielding vampire ladies come
Don’t point that thing at me, bitch is you crazy?
Bad guy split screen! Hooded guy in a mask on fire! Two sword ladies!
Wild horses wildly running
Good guy split screen!
And then the snow angels show up. They’ve got candles. For the lovers to drip crotch wax, you see.
Snowy mountains
Matching robes!

You get the picture. And that was only the first 1:20 or so. From there we get pirates, a ship exploding, a ghost romance, more explosions, a gang of pterodactyls, a crocodile… hold on. Yep, I just came.

[via Videogum]