The red-band trailer for David Fincher’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo leaked its way online.  Fincher’s much-anticipated remake of the 2009 Swedish film, based on the first of author Stieg Larssen’s Millennium Series, opens December 21st, starring Rooney Mara, Daniel Craig, Stellan Skarsgård, and Christopher Plummer, among others.  This is the bootleg, buttcam version of the trailer (with the official version supposedly hitting this Thursday), so watch it while you can before it gets pulled.  A lot of people like to get all self-righteous about not posting bootleg trailers, but the way I look at it, it’s an advertisement for a movie, not the polio vaccine.

As for the trailer, it seems like you’d have to be a big fan of the book or the Swedish movie to get much out of it.  It’s just out-of-context shots set to music, the first lesson of any high school video productions class.  Ooh, you mean it seems cooler if I set the cuts to the drumbeat of a Led Zeppelin song?  Call the Pulitzer committee, I think I’ve made an important discovery. At least it’s not little kids singing Radiohead this time, that’d make a hobo taking a dump seem epic.

The other night on the Frotcast, we played clips from a Swedish television show that had us cackling harder than just about anything else that’s ever made us cackle really hard like jackasses.  So many people asked me about it that I thought I’d explain.  Long story short, the clips came from a Swedish sketch comedy show called Grotesco, and the clip in question was from a sketch called “The Trial,” which you can watch below.  It’s a full-length parody of a southern court show (think In the Heat of the Night or Matlock) performed entirely in semi-mock English that has the characters spouting lines like:

“I gibba-la-gibb the Microsoft Word to district attorney Poland Barker.”

“Thank you, your onion. Ladies gentleman and uh extras on the curby.”

“Why are we here today? Why aren’t we at home with our mammals watching razeball?”

The Swedish actors of course all know English and the mistranslations are kind of the point, and that makes it even better, or at least, more brilliant.  It’s some of the most high-level absurdist humor I’ve ever seen.  The closest analogy I can think of is that it’s kind of for us what “Bee Man” on The Simpsons must be for Mexicans — a parody of us in a parody of our language.  Except a lot more brilliant.  And with more blackface.  SCUZE ME, YOUR ONIONS, JUST MAKIN’ SHITCHAT.

Read the rest of this entry »

Per Oscarsson, an 83-year-old Swedish actor who most recently starred in a trio of films based on Stieg Larsson novels, including The Girl Who Played with Fire, is presumed dead after a fire at his home.  Oscarsson starred in more than 100 Swedish films and TV shows and won best actor at Cannes in 1966 for Hunger.  I would’ve told you about him sooner, but that sort of person rarely makes FilmDrunk until he eats his own beard.

The remains of one person were found Sunday in the ashes of the house and are probably those of the 83-year-old actor or his wife, 67-year-old Kia Ostling, said police spokesman Jan Strommegard. Both were reported missing by their relatives who say the couple apparently was home when the fire destroyed the house early Friday.

The building, located in a remote area outside the small town of Skara in southwest Sweden, had burned to the ground. Only the chimney was left when firefighters arrived at the scene. [Yahoo]

Reached for comment, Alanis Morissette said, “You see?  Is this what you want?  All the sh*t I got for writing about rain on your wedding day?  Maybe next time I’ll write a song about a national treasure being burned to death and you f*cks can try singing along to that.”

Awwww yeeeeah, this banner picture is for you, ladies.  I know how much you love pictures of hot, shirtless dudes playing sports.  Anyway, the story is that Zac Efron will soon be playing a street tough, a role he was born to play.

The “High School Musical” graduate is attached to star in and produce a remake of “Snabba Cash,” a hot Swedish thriller [trailer after the jump] that was the subject of a heavy Hollywood bidding war before ending up at Warner Bros.

“Snabba,” based on a novel by Jens Lapidus, was a major hit in its home country this year. The film follows three interconnected storylines involving drugs and organized crime, with the main character a young man (played in the original by Joel Kinnaman) who hopes to strike it rich quickly by becoming a runner for a coke dealer. Efron would play the runner in the WB version. [Yahoo/THR]

I’m sure you’re all expecting me to make some crude, gay joke here.  Something like, “Zac Efron would probably make a great drug smuggler, he’s already used to picking condoms out of his sh*t.”  But I’m taking the high road.  That kind of toilet humor is beneath me.  Instead I’ll just say that Zac Efron would make a fine drug smuggler.  He could hide them in his purse.

Read the rest of this entry »

(New pickup line: “Do you know how hard Dolph Lundgren can hit?”  “How hard?”  “Hard enough to break the ice.”)

Dolph Lundgren, who’s experiencing something of a career resurgence of late with parts in The Expendables, Universal Soldier: Regeneration, and Command Performance, was on hand to perform at the Melodifestivalen in Örnsköldsvik, Sweden last week.  As you can see in the video below, he not only smashed boards and played a drum solo, but sang the Junkie XL Elvis cover “Little Less Conversation” in the voice of Bigfoot from the Howard Stern Show*.

The flamboyant singing and dancing fest was a clear winner in last week’s television audience ratings, beating Antikrundan — the Swedish version of the Antiques Roadshow — into second place on 2.1 million. [via TheLocal.se]

Time out, the highest-rated show on Swedish television was Antiques F*cking Roadshow?  Jesus, Sweden.  You may have hot blondes, universal healthcare, unmatched literacy, life expectancy, and quality of life, but… at what cost?

Tragically, during the encore, a møøse bit his sister.

Read the rest of this entry »