By now, my mom has probably sent everyone an internet link regarding the uplifting story of Susan Boyle, the Shrek-like singing sensation from the U.K. TV program “Britain’s Got Talent”. Well, since fact-checking is officially dead these days, starpulse.com is reporting, from no source whatsoever, that Robin Williams has been asked to play Boyle in a bio pic about her rise to fame.

He says, “I’ve been asked if I want to play Susan in the movie. I think she’s incredible. That clip of her singing on Britain’s Got Talent was extraordinary. So inspiring. It was quite a shock when she began to sing. I saw some other clip of her singing ‘Cry Me A River’ a few years ago. It was incredible. She’s got a really great voice.”

Seems like a reasonable enough quote from Robin Williams, doesn’t it? Well, if you loved that last quote, then you’re really going to sh-t the bed with this next sentence:

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The Daily Mail reports that Catherine Zeta-Jones is “desperate” to play singing cat-lady Susan Boyle in a movie about her life.  And you know it’s a serious story because they’ve made a Catherine Zeta-Boyle picture in photoshop.

Miss Zeta-Jones, 39, has apparently asked about the film rights to the singer’s life story and sensational appearance on Britain’s Got Talent.  It is believed that Oscar-winning film director James Cameron, who was behind Titanic, has expressed an interest in a similar project.

Oh, British press, you always have to take it a step too far, don’t you?  I could’ve believed Catherine Zeta-Jones.  It would’ve been like an Us Magazine, stars-are-just-like-us story.  Catherine Zeta-Jones emailed the Susan Boyle clip to everyone she knows!  She’s just like your mom! But then you had to go randomly pick names out of the hat, and you got… the guy from Terminator 2? It’s bad enough they lie, they’re not even good liars.  If a Susan Boyle movie goes anywhere, it will be the Lifetime network.  I’ve never seen a phenomenon go from excitement to just-stop-already faster than this one.  It’s a lot like my lovemaking.  Call me, cat ladies.