Incredibly, I’ve yet to get tired of the supercut as an internet art form. This latest, from NextMovie, “Fix Edukation Now,” is actually pretty clever. It combines all of cinematic students’ most idiotic answers to basic classroom questions (that they could think of). Easily my favorite clip is the one from Dangerous Minds where Michelle Pfeiffer tells her class “Today we’re going to conjugate some verbs.” To which a Mexican kid with a ponytail replies, “Hey! What about karate?”
I want to drive to the screenwriter’s house and high five him right now because that is awesome. I demand this become a meme somehow.
This new supercut “video essay” (well la di da, Professor Smartguy) is about as self-explanatory as it gets. Coming to us from Flavorwire, And Introducing… cuts together clips of famous actors in their first film roles. As far as I know, Sylvester Stallone’s clip, fromThe Party at Kitty and Stud’s, is the only film debut on the list that came from a porno. But only because they left out that child porn Danny Masterson starred in. What? Don’t look at me like that, you know how Scientologists are.
Here’s “Deep Thoughts, With Morgan Freeman,” a supercut of Morgan Freeman’s most philosophical moments. Surprisingly, he says nothing on the subject of banging your own granddaughter. |NextMovie|
MORNING LINKS
TV Gourmet: Making Food and Drinks from ‘Archer’ |Warming Glow|
5 Reasons David Cronenberg Should Direct “Doctor Strange” |Gamma Squad|
‘Let Me Tweet That For You’ Will Be Your Favorite Thing On The Internet For The Next Five Minutes |UPROXX|
Frotcast 92: HOTT GOSS, Stand Up with Joe King & Pauly, The Ultimate Manswer |Film Drunk|
Jennifer Lawrence Hurls A Bucket Of KFC Fried Chicken At A Basketball Hoop |Buzzfeed|
The difference between scotch, whiskey, and bourbon. |MentalFloss|
10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Sloths |The FW|
Bear Grylls’ 11 best survival moments. |ModernMan|
Kim Kardashian got flour dumped on her. Can this happen more often? Maybe people would stop aspiring to sh*tty reality show fame. |Idontlikeyouinthatway|
Whitney Houston had a coke-induced heart attack and then drowned. |TheSuperficial|
The Total Recall remake opens this August, and it departs from the original in a number of ways, including replacing Arnold with Colin Farrell, setting the entire thing on Earth, and perhaps most worrisome, aiming for a PG-13 rating (BUT WHAT OF THE THREE TITTIES, WHAT?!). At the very least, let’s hope it shares the original’s passion for breaking glass. This supercut edits all the scenes of glass-breaking (and pretty tightly) into this video, which still manages to fill up 1:16 of screen time. That has to be some kind of record. It’s set to “Shattered” by The Rolling Stones, which is fun and apt, but what I’m really looking forward to is Arnold’s commentary track.
“Hallo, jah, this Ahnuld Sfartsineggah, and heah I am on da screen. Here’s da great glass scene wit me, and da vindow. And now in dis scene I am trying very hard to break da glass, and all da glass want to do is to not break. But den right deah I take da gun, and den right heah I break it. …Ow! And there you see, I haff broken da glass.”
I believe this was based on the Phillip K. Dick story “We Can Re-Glass It For You Wholesale.” [via TheDailyWhat]
Here’s a supercut of movie characters being too old for various sh*t. Curiously absent? The cast of the Expendables. [HuffingtonPost]
MORNING LINKS
COME SEE ME DO COMEDY IN LA THIS WEEK! Come for me, stay for Pauly (Saturday), Joe King (Thursday, Friday), or Maria F*cking Bamford (Saturday)! THURSDAY: Pasadena Ice House. FRIDAY: Bar Lubitch. SATURDAY: Hollywood Improv. I promise new material, for those who’ve seen me before. |Events|
Vader On A Unicycle Playing Bagpipes. You’re Welcome. |Gamma Squad|
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