I can’t believe it’s taken someone this long to put together a supercut of “We’re not so different, you and I,” one of the most strangely pervasive and long-lived movie clichés that has probably been uttered less than 10 times in real life. It would make it even better if the villain looked like Stephen Hawking saying it to a hero who looked like Henry Cavill. My only criticism of this supercut that it’s only 1:43 long, when I feel like it easily could’ve been 15 minutes. Again I’m reminded of one of my favorite movie exchanges, in Adaptation:

Charlie Kaufman: The only idea more overused than serial killers is multiple personality. On top of that, you explore the notion that cop and criminal are really two aspects of the same person. See every cop movie ever made for other examples of this.

Donald Kaufman: Mom called it “psychologically taut”.

11 years later and most of the screenwriting critiques from that movie are just as relevant as when he wrote them. We have Snow White and the Huntsmen and Vin Diesel movies to thank for that.

Also, if any aspiring Supercut editors are out there, I’d really like to see a supercut of that move where the hero carefully closes a dead person’s eyes. I swear that happened roughly six billion times in the 80s and 90s.

[Slacktory via ClipNation]

(there’s some brief boobage at the 5-minute mark, so watch at your own risk)

You may remember about a month ago, when our friend Oliver Noble needed help compiling cinema’s 100 greatest compliments. I think the first two I suggested were “I just wanna suck your cock” from Freddy Got Fingered, and “Hey, Colleen. You’ve got a great ass,” from Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which tells you where my mind is at.

Only one those made the cut. Did yours? In any case, the finished product was fairly mesmerizing, and it reminded me of a few things. Mainly, that Nic Cage in City of Angels was one of the creepiest roles ever, and that I really need to go back and watch Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid.

“I hadn’t seen a body like that since I solved the case of the murdered girl with the big tits.”

Though I always enjoy “Was your father a meat burglar?” no matter how bad the actual movie was. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter what the rest of the pick-up line is, “was your father a meat burglar” needs no context. Tim Meadows should really get more work.

[Thanks to Ben Craw & Oliver Noble at HuffingtonPost]

You know our friends from 5-Second Films? Of course you do, you ignorant slut. Well they’re trying to raise some green for a good cause, and by good cause, I mean Dude Bro Party Massacre 3. Hey, it seems like it could be cool. Just look at how many different facial hair styles that one guy pulled off! Plus, they let me drink with them a couple times. Do it, bros. Blowjob Stacey would’ve wanted it this way. (RIP). |Kickstarter|

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MORNING LINKS
Multi-Racial Cheerios Commercial Reminds Us That YouTube Commenters Are The Worst |UPROXX|

ICYMI: Every way Sam Jackson has spelled “motherf*cker” since 2011. |FilmDrunk|

MEEP MEEP! Jason Segel on a scooter? Jason Segel on a scooter. Haha, it’s funny because he’s tall. |TheSuperficial|

40-Girl Softball Brawl Highlights Include A Bit Stomach |With Leather|

Embrace The Snark Side With ‘How Iron Man 3 Should Have Ended’ |Gamma Squad|

Woman Claims Rihanna’s Lipstick Gave Her Herpes, Sues |Smoking Section|

The 9 best summer barbecue festivals. Man, that would sound awesome if I didn’t still have Mexico diarrhea. |Mademan|

Our favorite fame-hating mathematician, Jaden Smith, spent the rest of his day dressing like Iron Man and hanging with a Kardashian. Yup. |TheSup|

The most heartwarming acts of celebrity charity. Whatever, man, I bought a hobo a beer once. |Ranker|

Patrick Stewart tries to clarify that his first slice of pizza wasn’t his first pizza, and he was confused that it didn’t come with a fork. Look, just don’t trust anyone from the UK in matters of food, okay? |Videogum|

RG3s Mortgage Is A Bigger Quagmire Then FedEx Field In January Folks. What? SPROTS! |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

That little girl from Mrs. Doubtfire wrote a thing about what it’s like being a child star and it’s really good, you guys. Still, I’d like to know how she got rid of that awful lisp. |Cracked|

13 Words That Knocked Out Spelling Bee Finalists. They’re should be a Sam Jackson motherf*cker spelling bee contest. |Mental Floss|

The Many Harried Cops of Mark Ruffalo |Grantland|

SUPERCUT OF THE DAY!

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“For your butt.”

Oliver emailed me the other day asking me for help working on his next supercut. While normally I’d give him my standard speech about getting a job and how the bums lost, he recently put together that beautiful cut of Wolverine’s claw sounds replaced with slide whistles that I suggested, so now I owe him a favor. He wrote a special message for you below, but the long and short of it is, can you help suggest cinema’s greatest compliments? Weigh in in the comments.

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Some internet genius has one-upped us all today, taking Under Siege and recutting it as a silent film. We’ve seen some silent movie edits before, but this is magical. Consider the source. Under Siege was a landmark film for a number of reasons. For one thing, it was the high-water mark of Steven Seagal’s career – he was working with TWO Oscar nominees! – after which it would be all downhill, when word of his unique physiological reactions  spread around and he was relegated to the undercards of Hollywood and could no longer keep track of space or time. But the early 90s was a more innocent, more ponytailed time. Then there was the unforgettable naked Erika Eleniak popping out of a cake, a scene that doesn’t need me to justify its historical import. Which is to say nothing of the plot itself, the archetypal “ship’s cook saves the day,” which became so iconic that a lying pastor in Pennsylvania eventually tried to pass it off as his life story, and was used in at least six more straight-to-DVD Seagal movies. This film should be required viewing in high school classrooms.

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