Oliver emailed me the other day asking me for help working on his next supercut. While normally I’d give him my standard speech about getting a job and how the bums lost, he recently put together that beautiful cut of Wolverine’s claw sounds replaced with slide whistles that I suggested, so now I owe him a favor. He wrote a special message for you below, but the long and short of it is, can you help suggest cinema’s greatest compliments? Weigh in in the comments.
Some internet genius has one-upped us all today, taking Under Siege and recutting it as a silent film. We’ve seen some silent movie edits before, but this is magical. Consider the source. Under Siege was a landmark film for a number of reasons. For one thing, it was the high-water mark of Steven Seagal’s career – he was working with TWO Oscar nominees! – after which it would be all downhill, when word of his unique physiological reactions spread around and he was relegated to the undercards of Hollywood and could no longer keep track of space or time. But the early 90s was a more innocent, more ponytailed time. Then there was the unforgettable naked Erika Eleniak popping out of a cake, a scene that doesn’t need me to justify its historical import. Which is to say nothing of the plot itself, the archetypal “ship’s cook saves the day,” which became so iconic that a lying pastor in Pennsylvania eventually tried to pass it off as his life story, and was used in at least six more straight-to-DVD Seagal movies. This film should be required viewing in high school classrooms.
Not every supercut has to be obscure and super specific – for instance, I’ve been trying to get someone to make a good-guy-closes-dead-person’s-eyes supercut for years. Sometimes it’s enough just to see how a particular actor does a particular thing, as is the case with NextMovie‘s new Sad Robert Deniro supercut. Unlike, say, the Julianne Moore crying supercut, Deniro isn’t especially known for crying a lot, so when he does, it’s like we’re seeing something special, like that Danzig picture where he’s carrying kitty litter. Deniro also has that quality that when he’s crying, he always looks like he’s about to break character, which somehow makes the crying more believable. Allison Williams on Girls is like that, where she always looks like she’s about to laugh, even when she’s pissed. Actors are like that in real life, by the way, tossed about the seas of their own irrational emotions, as unreliable as they are unemployable.
I’ve often said that the best supercuts are the most obscure and specific, and this one ranks right up there. Ian Larsen‘s “Oh Fat Men Where Art Howl: The Howling Fat Men of the Coen Brothers” shines a spotlight on perhaps the most overlooked part of the Coen Brothers’ award-winning canon: their penchant for filming fat men screaming. Amazingly, not all of those fat men are played by John Goodman. Nonetheless, I consider this still more evidence for my thesis: John Goodman Should Be In Everything.