The folks at Red Letter Media are doing the Lord’s work yet again, having compiled every face punch from Road House into one video (bonus trivia that matters only to me: Road House was partly filmed in Reedley, California, the town where I went to high school). And what better way to celebrate the birthday of George Washington, the face-punchingest of US Presidents? (Okay, it was probably Andrew Jackson, but still). In any case, it’s glorious. Girls punch girls, guys punch girls, girls punch guys, fat guys punch skinny guys, skinny guys punch fat guys, and guys who died of pancreatic cancer punch other guys who died of pancreatic cancer (*pours two out for Patrick Swayze and Ben Gazzara*). Seriously though, f*ck you, pancreatic cancer. Anyway, you can watch the supercut below. There was a lot of face punching going on in that movie, and no wonder, it’s contagious. Watching this makes me wish my grandma wasn’t dead so I could punch her right in the mouth. She’d probably just wipe the blood from her mouth on the back of her hand, laugh, and buy us a round of whiskey shots while we talked about pussy. I miss you, grandma.

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This is one of those supercuts that comes along that’s so obvious you wonder why no one thought of it sooner. Those are the best kind. Thanks to Adam Chitwood from Collider (HA HA! ‘CHITWOOD!’ HIS NAME IS PRACTICALLY ADAM POOP BONER!) for this comprehensive look at the greatest Nic Cage quotes created by MovieMiscellany. Nic Cage is a fascinating study because his acting range goes all the way from “legitimately good” to “so unbelievably terrible it’s kind of good.” My personal theory is that he’s crazier than a shithouse rat full of cobra venom and the massive variance in acting ability stems from the varying talents of the directors that he’s worked with. He needs a guy like Werner Herzog (Bad Lieutenant) or Spike Jonze (Adaptation) or the Coen Brothers (Raising Arizona) to tell him when to release the pigs and when to settle down and stop screaming for no reason. The guy clearly has a lot of energy, and some directors (*cough* Michael Bay! *cough, cough*) don’t seem to feel it necessary to take him aside and say, “Hey, Nic. Uh, me and the producers were thinking, this line where you’re supposed to be bonding with your daughter, maaaaaybe you shouldn’t scream it at the top of your lungs? Just a thought.”

That’s by far the best part of this trailer, wondering why he’s screaming 80% of these lines. He has a real-life case of that disease from Austin Powers where you can’t seem to CONTROL the VOLUME OF YOUR voice.

TRIVIA: The famous “NOT THE BEES!” scene from Wicker Man isn’t in here because it’s actually an alternate ending and not in the movie.

See also: Five minutes of Nic Cage losing his shit, below:

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Did you know that movie characters often promise to call each other back? It’s true! One of these days I am going to make a supercut entitled “The,” which will bust the long-standing cliché of characters constantly saying things like “the.” It will be 5 hours long and it will take the internet by storm.|Slacktory|

MORNING LINKS
20 Most Cromulent ‘Simpsons’ GIFs |Warming Glow|

The 10 Definitive Nicolas Cage GIFs |UPROXX|

International Trailer For The Amazing Spider-Man Shows New Action |Gamma Squad|

Pot, Meet Kettle: Shaq Calls Dwight Howard Leaving Orlando A “Travesty” |Smoking Section|

Good God, the corgi falling off the slide is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. |via RoboShark|

Ten More GIFs Of Jeremy Lin, The Most Undeniably Exciting Thing In Sports Right Now |Buzzfeed|

Courtney Stodden continues to do retarded things with her mouth. |TheSuperficial|

Petting Zoo: The week’s top 10 animal videos. |Videogum|

Jon Stewart and Ricky Gervais have a rational discussion about panda sex, porn, and raccoon humping |FARK|

11 Crappiest Movies Of Michael Caine’s Career |Pajiba|

Eight Giant Movie Plot Holes in Eight Images |Unreality|

Six lessons for surviving Las Vegas. |HolyTaco|

19 SI cover girls with movie careers. |ScreenJunkies|

Thomas Edison’s eccentric job interview questions. |MentalFloss|

Want to see a hissing cockroach giving birth? ‘Course ya do. |TheDailyWhat|

Nas Tells His Craziest Party Story Ever |Brobible|

Brittany Black wears black lingerie. |GorillaMask|

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Kate Upton has a bit part in the Farrelly Brothers’s upcoming Three Stooges movie, so obviously everything she does is totally relevant to a serious film site such as this. But what am I saying? I’m sure I don’t have to justify these things to you. You guys, you guys get it, that’s why I like you. Anyway, Kate Upton has made a fine career out of having giant boobs that she can make jiggle when she walks, and finally someone has given them a supercut, which they call “Kate Upton Bouncing: The Supercut.” You can watch it below. It’s truly impressive, most girls just get an up-and-down bounce, if they’re lucky, while Kate has figured out a way to make both boobs not only jiggle and bounce up and down, but also gyrate side to side and twist almost independently of each other. Now if you’ll just let me get my compass and protractor out, we can make a fine graph of their pitch, roll, yaw, initial impact, amplitude, rate of jiggle, and other important statistics. (*pours test tube into beaker*) KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

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You’d never guess from the headline, but this video shows the intro to all 22 James Bond films, simultaneously, on a single screen, for one minute. It kind of hurts my brain to watch, like the time my roommate in college took mushrooms and set up four speaker systems in his room on playing four different Grateful Dead songs at the same time (making it sound even MORE like pointless noodling). But I can’t deny this is strangely mesmerizing. There are a few different studio logos, and some of the intros cut straight to the movie, while others linger on the sniper-view graphic thingie. Sidenote: I don’t think your blood would actually drip down into the rifle barrel like that. You’d have to shoot some sort of menstruating blood balloon for that.

Sidenote part 2: Have you ever noticed that in almost every movie from the past 20 years that depicts the future, future people always watch like six different shows on a single giant screen via picture in picture like this? And yet in reality, we’ve mostly given up on picture-in-picture technology? Yeah, it turns out, trying to watch stuff like that sucks.

[via TheDailyWhat]

I still prefer the Bond song with lyrics:

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